Deborah Wilder

01/29/2018

Monday morning meditation brings more detachment from the emotional ride through this land of my decaying nation. I ponder the wisdom or the necessity(?)of exposing myself to the travesty of injustice and inequality everywhere visible in the patriarchy gone mad. If I pay no attention to these conditions and stay focused on my own work, and supporting the women and men who are working for good, I believe that grace will lift us up. Meantime, what is being asked of me here?
Can I hold my sacred container of conscious freedom amidst the flailing helplessness and rage that my dying, timid self feels? How is my inner state being reflected in this outer reality of homelessness, deportation and ecological violence as cultural norms are destroyed in their current forms? How much letting go is mine to do?
I get a clue from the prayerful request my Beloved made of me at the waterfall as we sat in the sounds of falling water and sweet fragrance of surrender in the damp redwood forest. "My request is that you speak your thoughts...your requests...your needs..with clear and forthright energy so they can be heard." The inner injustice and inequity to myself is perpetuated in withholding my voice . So many women like me, have yet to discover that the world may rush over us, but we can stay in touch with our own needs and act out of empowered will. I may only be one voice, but when I advocate for myself in this mess of awakening, I may inspire another voice...and we will together rise above this display of power over...into the assurance of power within.

01/20/2018

I am enjoying Ann Mortifee's " In Love with the Mystery" For years she awoke at sunrise and wrote her thoughts. Taking time everyday to write my morning thoughts is a practice that nourishes my soul. It is through this conversation with my quiet wisdom that my work is born. The series we begin on Tuesday is calling for a deeper commitment, an engaged awareness, a willingness to accept ourselves and own our power to create as sacred. Just look at what you are experiencing now and trace your thoughts back to when it was only a longing. Even the challenges we face are included, an invitation to open as the way we evolve. This is how we expand and grow..following the call of our essence into life's mystery! If you would like support in this journey, one space remains....

01/14/2018

Here is my offering on how relationships craft us into intimacy. My most challenging life lesson is in staying true! You? Journal page: Deborahwilder.com please leave comments and suggestions!

04/12/2017

Such a vulnerable sharing of this powerful truth !

Never miss a talk! SUBSCRIBE to the TEDx channel: http://bit.ly/1FAg8hB Tracy McMillan is a television writer (Mad Men, United States of Tara) and relationsh...

12/14/2015

A daily walk in the light requires a certain amount of grit and gravitas...

12/14/2015

A close friend asked me to share his enthusiasm for his "favorite" music video. When it started to play, I had to hold my breath, and after 3 minutes I asked him to stop it! While a beautiful woman of color is writhing around on the floor in a ballroom, the lyrics go something like this "Cut me open .. So I can bleed bleed bleed for you!"
I found my voice rising as I confronted the violence and degradation in this experience! "How could you like this? ". I was shrieking by the time I explained that this kind of dissociative programming is exactly how we find ourselves facing mass shootings in this country week after week! When entertainment is connected to this twisted idea of love, only victim of violence stories prevail!
Our unconscious does not know the difference between real and fantasy. As we create from our imagination, deeply influenced by our unconscious, it is a very literal interpretation that manifests!
The interesting thing for me was both his response "I don't listen to the lyrics, I just like the music!" And my own aggression that was sparked by viewing this horrifying scene! Really interesting!
The power of storylines is our most potent vehicle for change. Even our brains work differently when we tell ourselves a story of love and connection instead of survival dramas of sacrifice and shame. I won't post the video here for you as I just can't . I will tell you it has had several million views. What do you speak up for in your experience? What story are you living? Let's shine a little love in our hearts....

12/01/2015

From yesterday's musings...I emerge ever more grateful to be in community

12/01/2015

This morning I am in anticipation of a beautiful gathering of women I will meet tonight! We are asked to speak our truth about relationships. I am so aware that the biggest challenge in relationship for me is my voice. Such a strong connection is maintained through our words...and with my voice dropping an octave and weakening in projection a couple years ago, I feel the challenge in staying engaged in conversations when I can't be easily heard. Though I am addressing this weakness with herbs, exercises, and intention, the root cause is emotional I am sure. After decades of holding in my opinions, dampening my enthusiasm and hiding out from opportunities to speak my piece, I am stepping into my power at age 64. The intimidation, competition, and devaluing my view has come to an end! This page is one of the portals to an experience of sharing...and I know the circle of 22 women I am about to receive is another. What is your present experience of finding your voice? What do you have to say that you are not yet sharing?

10/13/2015

This week has certainly purged the depths of self negating thoughts for me! Receiving my own vulnerable self...again and again..continues to bring new insights about hiding out, in the control of "not ready yet" so here goes. This is for my little girl. I hope to speak to your little girl, too.
How can I possibly receive my Beloved into my heart when I don't agree with his view? By receiving my own vulnerable heart. You know, the scared, pleasing to survive, needing to belong to someone to be real, striving for perfection little one who so needs my love. Until I find compassion through feeling the long held at bay rejection I endured as a child, I continue to shame and blame myself as I was taught to do...and then think he is the one rejecting me! Holding onto these wounds by avoiding them keeps my broken hearted despair in search of what's wrong with me? Catching myself when I fall into habits of discouraging myself, and remembering I can accept and love myself even here...now...in this raw state is a new practice that is yielding more energy for my dreams. I recall my little girl heart that is already in joy! Oh boy! Really a boy... to play with? So fun! I know I am born to love, and starting with myself is the most powerful step every single day of my life. Receiving is the key to intimacy...being myself and into you I see!

08/04/2015

Last night, the glow that filled the room was radiating from relaxed, open, softening hearts. Each time the physical transformation in evidence surprises me! Out thoughts really do live on our faces....and when we receive ourselves with love...ahhhh beauty!

07/30/2015

This was and is my experience! Learning more about myself everyday...four years into living with the love of my life! These are the very principles we support in our Calling in the One classes. It really is true....it can happen to you...