05/06/2025
“What is love? ‘Tis not hereafter:
Present mirth hath present laughter.”
– Twelfth Night, Act 2, scene 3, line 48
Seize the day! Cautious love has plagued young adults. As Playwright Noël Coward borrowed the phrase “present laughter” for the title of his play about an actor (who has just turned 40). The idea is echoed in this article about romantic trends and tenative apprehension of a new (and wise) generation.
A lot of Americans are withdrawing from romance, a trend that seems to be especially pronounced for Gen Z. “Some research even suggests you might be better off that way. In the aggregate, though, this shift could be concerning: a sign, researchers told me, of a generation struggling with vulnerability,” Faith Hill wrote in March. https://theatln.tc/vZru8SJN
Adolescents could be steering clear of relationships because they are busy with other pursuits, and teens can still learn social skills in all kinds of platonic relationships. Plus, “young love isn’t always positive. It can be an emotional whirlwind; it can distract from schoolwork, or from friends, or from other interests. In the worst cases, it can be abusive,” Hill wrote. “And when it ends, teens—with little perspective and few learned coping mechanisms—can be absolutely wrecked.”
At the same time, the transition to adulthood takes longer today, giving young people a rationale to hold off on seeking partnership.
“But researchers have pointed to other, more worrisome reasons for the romance dip,” Hill continued. “Generational researchers have described Gen Z as a cohort particularly concerned with security, averse to risk, and slow to trust—so it makes sense that a lot of teens today might be hesitant to throw themselves into a relationship, or even just to admit they care whether their dalliance will continue next week.”
According to one researcher, those reservations can create a self-fulfilling prophecy “in which young people keep a romantic prospect at arm’s length—and then, when they feel confused or get hurt anyway, they become even more wary of relationships.”
“You are at least a little dependent on someone in a relationship; that’s what the symbiosis of love requires,” Hill continued. “It’s scary—but it can be interesting, and beautiful when it’s good, and sometimes formative even when it doesn’t stay good. You might want to find out for yourself.”
📸: Gabrielle Revere / Gallery Stock