Epona Connections: Horse-Human Somatic Connection Coach

We may not be practicing right now, but we are always developing. If you’ve ever worked with me, you need these books. Bar T Horsemanship introduced me to Steve Peters moons ago and it informed all of this work and the creation of Epona over 5 years ago. This is the work that helped kick off equine evidence based practices! ❤️

Welcome to the horse world, where there are 4,237 ways to do everything… and somehow, everyone’s right.

You use hoof oil? She uses coconut oil. Someone else swears by moon water blessed under a full eclipse. And guess what? Their horses all still run, spin, and p**p just fine. 💁‍

And the same goes for the truck pulling them there—Ford, Dodge, Chevy, prayers, duct tape… if it rolls into the rodeo grounds or horse show and back out again, it worked.

Moral of the story: What works for one may not work for another—and that’s okay. So before you drop advice or ask for it, remember:
📌 Be helpful.
📌 Be kind.
📌 And maybe don’t die on the “you’re doing it wrong” hill.

This isn’t a one-size-fits-all world. It’s more like a choose-your-own-adventure with a lot of opinions, some hay, and possibly a check engine light.

July 2025 Updates: (Clients please check emails and I will be texting personally and or calling over the week)

Due to a health issue that won’t be resolving quickly and impairs my ability to safely work with our equine partners, as well as on the mat, I’m indefinitely closing Epona.

This year has been AMAZING and the horse shows and the people and the amazing commitments to your equines. It’s beautiful to see. I’ll always love teaching humans somatic connection work, and that may be something that I explore in the future via a telehealth style portal, and perhaps in the future there may be content in the form of a book, but for now the physical component of this work is out of the picture for me.

It breaks my heart because hands on is SO important to me, but it’s not in the best interest of my health. I have a list of referrals I can make, and I’m developing a worksheet for all clients to keep up with the work as well as books and learning informations so you can keep your information going and provide your horse with the best care.

I’m sorry to hang up my hat at this time and I’ve loved this work, and we never want to start a Monday like this but it’s just another step in a different direction. ❤️

Thank you all for trusting me, yourselves and your horses on this path. Much love to all.

This! I really appreciate this perspective. As a person who works on people’s horses I can tell you there are numerous “Do Not Book/Not A Fit” clients in my books due to their horses not being properly managed, handled, manners and more. I’ve worked on million dollar horses to $1 auction bid horses, none of that matters if I can’t get the work done because the horse doesn’t realize that people ARE the safety they are looking for. To back this, please check out Evidence-Based Horsemanship if you need scientific backing to how to proceed with your equines. ❤️

Training Is Not a Democracy: Your Horse Doesn’t Get a Vote

One of the biggest shifts I’ve seen in the horse world over the years is how much people have softened in the wrong direction. Now don’t get me wrong — I’m all for kindness, for patience, and for empathy. But those things mean very little if they aren’t wrapped in clear leadership. Somewhere along the line, too many people started confusing kindness with permissiveness and leadership with cruelty. That’s where the wheels fall off. Because here’s the truth:

Training is not a democracy. Your horse doesn’t get a vote.

We are the leaders. And we have to act like it.

Confusing Emotion with Permission
A horse isn’t a dog, and even dogs need structure. But horses? Horses are flight animals. Horses are herd animals. They’re hardwired to look for leadership. And if they don’t find it in you, they’ll either fill that role themselves — which never ends well — or they’ll become anxious, reactive, or even dangerous. Either way, they’re not thriving, they’re surviving.

Somewhere out there, people got this idea that a horse “expressing itself” was the same thing as “being empowered.” But when that expression looks like pushing into your space, refusing to move forward, slamming on the brakes at the gate, or throwing a fit about being caught, that’s not empowerment — that’s insecurity and disrespect. That’s a lack of clear expectations. That’s a horse operating in chaos.

And a chaotic horse is a dangerous horse.

The Illusion of Fairness
I know some people mean well. They want to be “fair.” They want their horse to feel “heard.” But horses aren’t people. They don’t negotiate. They don’t take turns. They live in a world of black and white — safe or unsafe, leader or follower, respect or no respect.

If you try to run your training like a democracy — where every cue is a polite request and every command is up for discussion — you’re setting that horse up for failure. Because out in the pasture, that’s not how it works. The lead mare doesn’t ask twice. The alpha doesn’t negotiate. Leadership in the horse world is clear, consistent, and sometimes firm — but it’s always fair.

Being fair doesn’t mean weak. It doesn’t mean permissive. It means you set a boundary and you keep it.

Confidence Comes from Clarity
One of the things I say often is this: a horse is never more confident than when it knows who’s in charge and what the rules are. Period.

A horse that’s allowed to “opt out” of work when it doesn’t feel like it isn’t a happy horse. It’s a confused horse. A horse that’s allowed to drag its handler, rush the gate, balk at obstacles, or call the shots under saddle isn’t empowered — it’s insecure. It’s operating without a plan, without leadership, and without trust in its rider.

And let me tell you something — trust isn’t earned through wishy-washy “maybe-if-you-want-to” training. It’s earned through consistency, repetition, and follow-through. That’s what gives a horse confidence. That’s what earns respect. That’s what makes a horse feel safe — and therefore willing.

Manners Are Not Optional
When people send their horses to me for training, one of the first things I work on is manners. I don’t care how broke that horse is, how many blue ribbons it has, or how fancy the bloodlines are. If the horse walks through me, pulls away, crowds my space, or refuses to stand quietly, we’re not moving on until that’s fixed.

Because manners aren’t cosmetic. They’re the foundation of everything.

If your horse doesn’t respect your space on the ground, what makes you think it’ll respect your leg cues under saddle? If your horse doesn’t wait for a cue to walk off at the mounting block, what makes you think it’ll wait for your cue to lope off on the correct lead?

We don’t give horses the option to decide whether or not to be respectful. That’s not up for debate. That’s the bare minimum of the contract.

Leadership Isn’t Force — It’s Direction
Now before somebody takes this and twists it into something it’s not, let me be clear. I’m not talking about bullying. I’m not talking about fear-based training. I don’t train with anger, and I don’t train with cruelty.

But I also don’t ask twice.

When I give a cue, I expect a response. If I don’t get it, I don’t stand there and beg — I escalate until I get the response I asked for. And then I drop right back down to lightness. That’s how you teach a horse to respond to softness. Not by starting soft and staying soft no matter what. You teach softness through clarity, consistency, and fair correction when needed.

That’s leadership.

Horses Crave It — So Give It
Some of the best horses I’ve ever trained came in hot, pushy, or insecure. And some of those same horses left my place calm, willing, and confident — not because I over-handled them, but because I gave them structure. I told them where the boundaries were, and I held those boundaries every single time. I wasn’t their friend. I wasn’t their therapist. I was their leader.

And in the end, that’s what they wanted all along.

They didn’t want to vote. They wanted to be led.

Final Thought
If your horse is calling the shots — whether that’s dragging you out to the pasture, refusing to go in the trailer, tossing its head, or dictating when and how you ride — then your barn doesn’t have a training problem. It has a leadership problem.

Stop running your horse life like a town hall meeting. Training isn’t a democracy. Your horse doesn’t get a say in whether or not it respects you. That part’s not optional. Your job — your responsibility — is to show up, be consistent, and take the lead. Every time.

Because if you don’t? That horse will. And I promise you, that’s not the direction you want to go.

Have you ever taken one of my classes or lessons? Ask me about my pony club lessons in curry combs! If you don’t need a new one each year, you’re not doing it right 😂

𝐓𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐒𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐮𝐩𝐬 If you grew up riding in the ‘90s or early 2000s, particularly under the keen eyes of a Pony Club instructor, you’ll know exactly the sort I mean. These weren’t the “gentle encouragement and positive reinforcement” types you hear about today. No, they were built from tougher stock. Rain didn’t cancel lessons; it just meant you’d better not forget your gloves. And sympathy? That was reserved for the pony if you bounced on its back or let it drift onto the forehand. They taught more than just riding. They drilled in discipline, turnout, respect for the animal and above all, accountability. Stirrups had to be even. Boots had to shine. If your tack wasn’t clean enough to eat off, you were sent back to start again. They didn’t yell, not always, but their disappointment cut deeper than any raised voice. Looking back, many of us owe those instructors more than we ever said at the time. They expected high standards because they knew what horses deserved and they gave us a sense of pride in doing things properly. You weren’t just learning to ride; you were learning to care, to try again, to stand up straight even when your legs were jelly after too many no-stirrup canters. It wasn’t always easy. It wasn’t always fun. But it was formative. And when we teach now or watch the next generation come through the ropes it’s worth remembering those who taught us. Mud on your boots didn’t matter. But a lazy leg or untidy line did. Because back then, riding wasn’t about likes or rosettes. It was about learning to ride well, look after your pony, and not make excuses. And maybe, just maybe, we could do with a little more of that again.

Please please please same for us body workers! This summer is HOT we get it, but we can’t do the work on messy horses!

Horses need to be reasonably clean and dry *at the time of their appointment *

This heat is gross. Trust me, I get it. This does mean that you should expect your horse to be gross when you arrive at the barn, and plan to arrive well enough in advance to prepare them for their appointment. Hosing them off 30 minutes prior and putting them under a fan so they are clean and dry is GLORIOUS! Worst case, please curry, medium bristle and fine bristle brush them.

I cannot do my job adequately on a sweaty, salt and sand encrusted horse. Please stop presenting me with hot, filthy animals.

Well written and exactly what many of us (I’m patient 0 here 😂) need to remember. Ride first, always and throughout. Thats leadership. ❤️

Your Body Has to Ride First—Before the Horse Moves

Not long ago in one of my videos, I made a passing comment:
“Too many riders don’t start riding until after the horse is already moving.”

The comment was in passing, and I didn't elaborate at that time, but a longtime follower reached out and said that simple idea completely changed the way she rides. She started focusing on initiating movement with her body—before any cue—and her horse started responding better, softer, and more willingly.

So let me explain what I meant—and why this is such an important piece of horsemanship.

Too often, riders rely on external cues—clucks, kicks, reins—to signal movement. But a connected ride doesn’t start with a signal. It starts with a shift. A shift in your seat, your energy, your core. The way you carry your body should tell the horse what’s coming before you ever give a cue.

When you move with intention, the horse picks up on that. You stop pushing or pulling them into a transition, and they start flowing into it with you. You’re no longer just a passenger—you're now a partner in motion.

And here’s where it gets even better:
When you ride transitions with your whole body—especially your seat—you naturally encourage your horse to engage their own.

That’s the doorway to better self-carriage, balance, and collection. When you prepare your body for a transition—whether it’s a walk, a stop, or a rollback—your horse learns to prepare theirs. They start stepping up from behind, rounding their back, lifting their shoulder, and carrying themselves with better form. That’s not something you can force with reins and legs. That has to come from a horse that’s tuned into you and trusting your feel.

Now, I’ve talked before about the three phases of rider development.

In the first phase, everything feels mechanical. You’re learning where your hands and legs go, like driving a truck with no power steering.

In the second phase, you start to develop feel. You begin noticing how your horse reacts, and your timing starts to improve.

**But in the third phase—**and this is what we all strive for—riding becomes instinctual. You’re no longer thinking about the steps. You’re feeling your way through them. Your body and your horse are speaking the same language.

And this concept—initiating movement with your seat—is a huge piece of getting to that third phase.

Because the third phase doesn’t come from practicing cues—it comes from practicing connection. When you ride with your whole body and start feeling those moments before they happen, your horse starts feeling them too. That’s when transitions become seamless. That’s when your horse is right there with you, waiting for the next breath, the next shift, the next subtle change in rhythm.

So next time you go to ask for movement, take a breath and ask yourself:
Am I riding yet? Or am I just sitting still, waiting for the horse to start the ride?

Let the movement start in you.

Let the seat, the core, the posture, the energy—lead the way.

Ride first. Cue second.
That’s how you build softness, balance, engagement—and eventually, instinctual horsemanship.

Due to sickness we won’t be doing show bodywork this weekend.

We will resume our regular schedule clients in July after surgery!

See you then!

And that’s a wrap for May horses! How did this month pass so quickly! Next week I am OFF!

I’ve been balancing my own horse shows, my day job clients and then also Epona reopening since March! Whew!

I love the season of body work (March-October I do sessions in off November-Feb) and I’m so happy to be covered in all the fur glitter of all the horses but whew. These hands are TIRED! Happy for a moment of rest and a little sugar to keep the rest of the day/night going!

Only pictures of my home barn and my last stop of the day BUT it’s all good vibes this week and loved seeing everyone this month beteen North Carolina and Florida!

See everyone in June! 🫶

I wasn’t sure if I’d share this here BUT this is a huge part of our story! Did you know that I also co-founded an animal rescue with my partner and we rescue and rehab small and farm animals!!?? This is a testament to the work of vets, rehab, body work, nutrition and more! THIS is what comprehensive and holistic support looks like - from hospice to healthy - and I am so so proud of this! You can check out All Animals Sanctuary & Rescue and our amazing small animal clinic Harmony Animal Rescue Clinic and our large animal clinic Ascend Equine Mobile Sports Medicine PLLC 💞

🐾 Happy Tales: Acorn Muffin's Remarkable Journey

Meet Acorn Muffin—affectionately known as Mimi—a resilient senior Chihuahua who has overcome incredible odds.
Rescued from a hoarding situation by Carolina Animal Rescue & Adoption (CARA), Acorn Muffin was in dire condition: frail, elderly, and in urgent need of medical attention. All Animal Sanctuary and Rescue (AASR) stepped in, providing him with a loving forever home.
Initially misdiagnosed with a lung tumor, Acorn Muffin was placed in hospice care. However, a second opinion at Harmony Animal Rescue Clinic (HARC) revealed the "tumor" was actually a fusion of his heart and liver—a rare but non-life-threatening condition.

Read more about Acorn Muffin's inspiring story and happy ending here: https://harcnc.org/happy-tales-acorn-muffin/