06/23/2025
Tip of the Week: RELAX!
When a student is trying to learn something new, it can be a bit confusing. Part of being confused is being distracted by the many parts involved. Whether you're trying to conjugate French verbs, assemble an engine, solve an algebra equation, or even break a wooden board with a roundhouse kick, there are lots of bits to keep in mind at the same time.
As we get better at this task, we get the hang of where our attention needs to go, and when. As we are LEARNING, not so much.
Let's have a look at it from two different perspectives.
First, as the student, do your best to limit outside distractions, interference, stresses, etc. If you can, have a distinct space where you study, even if it's in a particular chair in the corner of a room. Make sure it is known that when you're in that space, you need to be left alone. If someone is not bleeding, burning, or otherwise dying, it can wait. For yourself, build the habit of "leaving your problems at the door." We all have stuff that hangs on our minds throughout the day. Make the agreement (if only with yourself) that you will leave those stresses behind for the duration of your study period. Also, keep phones, music and other distractions away as well. Believe me, they don't help!
Snacks, interestingly enough help some people and not others. See what works best for you. I've had students that thrive when there's a bowl of nuts or pretzels nearby, chomping on them as they burn calories (and YES, learning does burn calories). For other students, snacks are a distraction and just become another layer of "stuff" that gets between the student and the subject matter.
Secondly, let's look at the parent or teacher addressing the student. Yes, you too must learn to have a relaxed demeanor when teaching a student. There may be 800 things your child has done in a single day that have left you on edge, your nerves frazzled. But that is NOT the energy to bring to your child when they are attempting to learn something. They are already having to confront all the moving pieces of the subject they are studying. They can't also handle the stress you inadvertently pile on top of the heap. If you want to, record a lesson and play it back. When your student makes a mistake, and listen to how you correct them. Are you relaxed? Is the student? Would you want to be corrected in that way? It can be a bit humbling.
Your attitude toward the student need to remain relaxed. You can, of course, disagree with a wrong answer, but make sure the student knows it is the ERRORS you are both attacking, not the student. You are on the same team. Make sure your student can feel it.
I will tell you a secret. At some point or another I inevitably give this speech to each of my students:
"You are going to make mistakes. You are going to make LOTS of mistakes. THIS (lesson) is the place to make all these mistakes. This is where we find out why the mistakes happen and with the right information and practice we make fewer mistakes. But don't be fooled, mistakes are immensely important for the learning process and if you don't make any mistakes, It's doubtful that you're learning very much. If you make (and learn from) enough mistakes while you're working with me, outside the lesson, you'll make way less. When you were a baby, learning to walk, you fell down. A LOT. Now, you don't fall down as much. You learned how to balance and use your body to stand, and walk, and run. You needed to make those mistakes so you can do all those things you're able to do now."
And it's true. You need to make a lot of mistakes while you're learning. People who are afraid to make mistakes learn slower, on average, than those who take those mistakes, learn from them, dust themselves off, and go after it again.
So, give yourself a break, and let yourself make some mistakes you can learn from!
