05/01/2023
✨SAY IT WITH US✨ It’s our job as parents/caregivers to hold boundaries, and it’s okay for our kids to be upset about them.
When it comes to our kids, firm, consistent, boundaries are key:
✨"I hear you want more iPad, we are all done with iPad today."
✨"You want cookies for lunch. That's not on the menu today."
✨"Hurting someone is not ok. I won't let you."
Did you just cringe and tense up when reading those? Okkkkk me too. BUT, here's 2 perspective shifts on boundaries:
1️⃣ Firm, loving boundaries ACTUALLY make our kids feel safer.🤯
Despite what it may seem like, kids feel safest with a calm, confident leader who means what they say. When we go back on our boundaries, when we give in to the extra episode, or 5 more mins at the park to avoid the tantrum, it actually cues the toddler brain to say, "MAYDAYMAYDAY CHAOS." Toddlers CRAVE predictability, so when we say 1 more episode, but sometimes 1 more episode actually means 5 more episodes, that's CONFUSING and chaotic.
When our child is testing the boundaries, imagine them saying, "This is a test. Will you keep me safe? Are you in charge or am I in charge?"
2️⃣ Those BIG upset feelings that come after boundary holding? The screaming, the anger, the sadness, the crying? Those feelings are TOTALLY, completely, absolutely OK.🤯
YEP. Remember, all feelings are OK. In fact, allowing a healthy release of emotion will help them move through the feelings quicker and even builds trust in your relationship - because you're a safe person they can honestly express with, and at the same time, you're a confident adult who makes the big decisions and takes care of them. That combo is dope AF - and builds some lifelong resilience in your kid.
✨Struggling with tantrums, pushback, and disciplining in a way that works? Our course, Winning the Toddler Stage, is here to help. For people with kids ages 1-6. Link in bio!✨
