Anderson Montessori Peacemakers

My issue with compliance-based methods.

You have assumed that my kid has made an intentional choice to not do the thing. You have assumed that they are entirely capable of doing the thing in this moment, but they have chosen not to. Based on this reasoning, all my kid needs is more rewards offered and more consequences given. Then they will learn to make the ‘right choice’, and just do the thing.

This is so incorrect.
As Dr Ross Greene says, kids do well if they can.

My kid WILL do the thing WHEN HE CAN.

When he doesn’t, it’s probably because he’s too dysregulated.
It’s probably because he has absolutely no mental energy left.
It could be because he’s had to mask hard all day and he’s got nothing left to give.
It could be because he can’t access his executive function skills in this moment.
It could be because he’s not ok inside.
It could be because he is too sad.
It could be because he is a perfectionist and doesn’t think he can do the thing perfectly right this minute.
It could be because his head is pounding from massive sensory overload.
It could be anxiety.
It could be because he has learnt that mistakes are punished here.
It could be that he is minutes away from shutting down.

It could be all these things.
When my kid doesn’t do the thing, it is because he can’t- not because he won’t.

Do not make the mistake of thinking that my kid just isn’t trying hard enough.

He tries so much harder than you will ever know.

Em 🌈
AuDHD SLP

Yes!!! ❤❤❤

Nature Studies for Spring: https://charlottemasonmama.thinkific.com/courses/slow-simple-seasonal-spring

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I had a conversation with a 5 yr old today who hurt another 5 yr old’s feeling when he said he was smarter than his friend because he know what 300+600 was and the other student didn’t.

His friend was so upset that need everyone in the class was trying to cheer him, but it wasn’t working. This friend also is very non-confrontational, so I approached the first 5 yr old. He immediately started crying because he didn’t fully want to admit that he did something “wrong” because technically he spoke the truth. He did know the math problem and his friend didn’t. I’m 5 ye old terms, he was smarter. I talked with him once he calmed down about how people can be smart in so many different ways, something we talk about a lot. I mentioned one of his weaknesses that his friend was actually better at than he was. He seemed to start to understand what I was saying, but he still couldn’t understand that he was in the wrong because he wasn’t trying to hurt his friend’s feelings.

I brought the other student over to tell in his own words how he felt and why. We then proceeded to talk about how even if we don’t understand why something we have done or said hurts someone else’s feelings, we should still feel sorry and try to understand our friend.

It was such a powerful moment in a pretty rough winter day, and it helps me remember why I am really doing my job. As a teacher, I can help my students not only see their own worth and understand themselves, but it’s also to help them extend that same worth and understanding toward others.

When there is no room in the schedule for social-emotional learning, make time.

Accurate.

Opinion | Temple Grandin: Society Is Failing Visual Thinkers, and That Hurts Us All American schools are screening out too many of our visual and spatial thinkers.

Love this!

It is so curious that we often hold our children to higher expectations than we hold ourselves.

We can all feel upset, sad, and get yelly-and-shouty when our patience dries up.

When we come to understand that our children are at the mercy of not only their humanity, but also the process of child development, then we can better understand and show compassion for their overflowing emotions. 💗