07/25/2026
This is spot on! Almost all the connections I have formed in my room have happened by pausing instruction to enter their world and share their play (even though it doesn’t always look like play to us).
People who support autistic folks can become SO focused on “productivity” that they treat bids for connection like a distraction. 😔
Relationship-building doesn’t always happen during a scheduled break.
Sometimes the opportunity pops up in the middle of the task.
The person may start humming, dancing, repeating a favorite phrase, or inviting you into a small moment of joy.
You can return to the task.
But in the world of autism, you may not get that exact opening for connection again.
Here’s 3 ways to spot those openings
1. Look for initiation.
Those times when they start quoting TV shows, they start dancing, they start gigging.
2. Look at what grabs their attention.
Is it getting a favorite toy? Noticing a shadow on the wall? Asking a random, off-topic question?
3. Pay attention to physical interaction.
This could be grabbing, standing really close to you, or stimming nearby
Yes, some moments require focus.
My point is, notice the openings when you have time to pause.
Just ten seconds of joining in or responding can be enough.
Choosing connection when the moment allows is NOT being soft. It’s recognizing the larger goal.