08/22/2020
Parents, this is worth reading.
âď¸Parents often get frustrated with their children because they KNOW the kid KNOWS that they shouldnât do the thing that we keep telling them not to do. Whether it is complaining or squabbling with a sibling or picking their nose. â
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âď¸Itâs a first reaction to think you need to double down on rules or discipline, but this angle is always worth thinking about: If the kid KNOWS not to do something but is doing it anyway, what is it that they DONâT KNOW? â
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âď¸A lot of the time what they donât know is that you love them. What they arenât feeling so deep in their bones is how proud of them you are, how happy you are to have them, how much you LIKE them. They may have a perfect mastery of what you donât like, but are unable to recall a far more crucial piece of information - who you DO like.â
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âď¸So try this with your difficult child- give them a hug every time you see them. Grab their little face and look in their eyes and tell them that you LOVE them. That you have always loved them. Tell them specific things that delight you- this is thirsty ground and it is hard to over water! So work on your irrigation system. Get water to all the corners. Tell them what you respect about them. Tell them you love how strong they are, how they stand tall, how they laugh, how they read. Itemize your joy in them!â
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âď¸You might already be thinking âBut I donât enjoy him because heâs being bad all the time!â â
Well do you think he hasnât noticed that? Do you think he hasnât felt that you donât enjoy him? That you arenât pleased? I can assure you he HAS noticed this and he does not know the way out of it. â
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âď¸Should our plants look more alive before we start watering them? But watering with love and respect is not a reward for good growth- it facilitates growth.â
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âď¸If you arenât feeling it, ask the Lord to give you the feelings to follow the obedience. Start loving, start hugging, start admiring, start. I often yell âMOSES IS IN BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG TROUBLE!â - this has long been our game that whichever kid I name has to get to me and give me a hug before I get to âtrouble.â Never assume they know you love them.â
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Link to article in bio!