09/26/2026
Yesterday we had to say goodbye to one of our horses. Johnny Cash passed due to colic. Our vet believes his colic was caused by a fatty mass inside his abdomen that became wrapped around a portion of his intestine, cutting off its blood supply. It’s a devastating type of colic that can happen suddenly and without warning.
It is never easy saying goodbye to one of our herd. It always hurts, and there are always questions of whether I could have done something differently or if I was making the right call. In the end, though, I know Johnny was in too much pain to go on.
All of the questions and grief I anticipated. I knew they would be there because I truly love each horse here. But there was something different this time that I didn’t expect. This is the first program horse I have lost since starting Upper Canyon Outreach, and what I had not been prepared for was sharing the grief with all of the people Johnny has helped. As soon as I made the call that it was time for Johnny to say goodbye, a flash of faces ran through my mind.
Now, if you know Johnny, you know there was no one else like him. He was huge and silly and kind. But Johnny was more than that. He also had baggage.
Johnny did not come from an ideal history. When he got here, he was afraid of everything and expected violence from every interaction. When he would get really nervous, he would actually start to act in a way that could potentially create violence. I believe there were times that Johnny would try to recreate his violent past because that is what he knew, and often times our nervous systems want to return to status quo, even if that is not safe or healthy.
When we would be working with Veterans and Johnny would start to get big and scary out of fear, I would encourage his people to meet him with assertiveness, steadiness, and always kindness.
The more Johnny was met with accountability and kindness rather than violence, the more he flourished. He started to really develop his personality. He was goofy, affectionate, and always willing.
Thank you to the participants who saw Johnny for who he could be, not just who he had been. Truly loving him gave him the opportunity to live the end of his life differently than the beginning. Because of the Veterans who worked with him, Johnny got to experience true connection and love from a person.
My phone has not been silent since Johnny passed. I have received so many kind words, drawings, and pictures sharing what Johnny meant to others. It brings me so much gratitude and joy to know that he was loved, seen, and cherished.
Thank you, Johnny Cash, for being brave enough to be your true self and for showing others that change is possible and beautiful.
-Cassie Ubaldo
Founder
