Big David TV

16/04/2026

A C0LD WÂR 🤣🤣
I entered a bus, A woman and her 7 years old son were sitting beside me in the bus. It was raining and all the twilight girls (Prost!tutes) were standing by the roadside.
The boy asked; “Mummy, what are all those women doing?.
His Mother replied; “They are waiting
for their husbands to come back from work.
The bus driver turned around and said;
“Why don’t you tell him the truth?.
Little boy, they are prost!tutes, they sleep with men for money. Said the Driver”
The boy’s eyes got wide and asked; “Mummy
is that true?”
His mother, glaring hard at the driver replied; “Yes.!!”
After a few minutes, the boy asked; “Mummy, what happens to the babies those women have?.”
She replied; “Most of them becomes bus
drivers.🙆🏽‍♂🙆🏽‍♂🙆🏽‍♂
Up till now, combined road safety officers and passengers are still trying hard to see if they can separate the f!ght between the woman and the driver.
Me I quickly used the opportunity to come down and leave without paying🏃🏃🏃🏃🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

30/03/2026

Fun time 😂😂😂
1.Teacher: What is Marriage?
Student: It is an unlimited séx bundle
😂😂😂😂😂😂
2.Wen a white man creates a phone and you video chat with your brother you call it technology but when your Grandmother in the village use a mirror to see you in your house in Lagos, you call it witchcraft. It's about tym we value our Nigerian products.😂😂 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
3.Most girls nowadays sha. if their future baby knows how many old men sucked those breast, the child will prefer porridge..😂😂😂😂😂😂
4.In Africa we don't need CCTV cameras, the neighbours are enough 😂.
if you think i'm lying bring your girlfriend at home when your wife is not around and see 😂😂😂😂😂😂
5.She's ur girlfriend👩🏼 you can't buy her pant and bra 👙 but u will use force and tear the little one she manage buy all in the name of hot séx 😒 even if you repent, you won't make heaven 😂😂😂
6.No matter how broke a guy is, money for abortion will always come out from nowhere if he has impregnated a babe most especially if the babe is an ugly girl. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
7.Am done with Nigerian movies, how can a native doctor say, the charm will work in Jesus name....😂😂😂😂😂
8.Guys
Best way to propose to a girl
Take her in a boat to the middle of the river and say " Chiamaka marry me or leave my boat.
Wisdom na my baptismal name😂😂😂
9.i have to stop making promises during séx.......Now I owe one Lady two houses, one helicopter,three cars
where do I start?
😃😃😃😃😃
10. *Toothpicks* *were* *missing* *in* *the* *house*, *then* *my* *Mother* *asked* *our* *maid*, *and* *she* *was* *like*: 😧it's not me, even when I use I put them back
😂😂😂😂😂😂
11. Some African Parents will be like 'I will not place Curse on you, but whatever you do to me your children will do you same. Is this one a Proclaimation or a Declaration???😏😂🌍

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29/03/2026

A child went to a burial ground and threw his school bag at his mom's grave and emotionally said in tears ""if you have slept enough, wake up, come with me and give an answer to my teacher who says -your mother is very careless, she sends you to school without lunch box, she doesn't even dress you up properly and neither does she make you do homework.

Life without mother is painful.
May Death never take us away from our children in Jesus name🙏

21/03/2026

I saw my high school maths teacher today. We greeted and he asked for directions to the nearest bank. I told him to make a 360° turn and walk for like 1.8 kilometers. Then find the coefficient of x using Pythagoras' theorem and round it up to the nearest tens. He will see a big pharmacy which is
perpendicular to his right. Then make an obtuse angle turn. He'll see the bank at a distance of about the logarithm of 7 and using a 4-figure table to find the anti-log. Subtracted by 2. Let him feel what I felt when I was in school. This morning I heard on the radio that he is missing; I bet he didn't plot the graph well. 😔😂😂😂😂

18/02/2026

Comment tell me

06/02/2026

Good evening friends...
one year ban on Facebook is soon over..
we shall enjoy the jokes again

09/01/2026

My husband gave me a Coffin as a gift on Our Wedding Night, I Never Knew...

It all started after our wedding day.

Everything about the wedding looked perfect to outsiders. But deep inside me, something felt wrong. One thing kept bothering me—none of my husband’s family members came to the wedding.

When I asked David earlier, he smiled and said, “They are very private people. They don’t like crowd.”
I believed him. After all, love makes you trust even when your heart is shaking.

After the wedding reception ended, guests slowly went home. David held my hand as we walked to the car that would take us to the hotel for our honeymoon. I felt relieved. I thought once we got to the hotel, I would finally relax.

But halfway through the journey, David leaned forward and said to the driver,
“Change direction. Take us to the old hotel near the mortuary.”

I froze.

“David?” I whispered, forcing a smile. “Why there? Our hotel is already booked.”

He turned to me and gently touched my hand. “Trust me, Uju. That place is quiet and peaceful. You will like it.”

I didn’t like it.
Not one bit.

When we arrived, my heart beat faster. The hotel looked old and tired, and just beside it was a mortuary building. Even the air felt cold. I wanted to turn back, but David was already pulling our bags inside.

Inside the room, everything was strangely neat. The bed was made. The fridge was working. Yet fear sat heavily in my chest.

David suddenly said, “I’ll get bottled water for you.”
I was confused. “But there is water in the fridge.”
He didn’t answer. He just walked out.

I decided to freshen up. Maybe I was just overthinking. I went into the bathroom, washed my face, and took a deep breath.
When I came out…

I screamed.

David was inside the room—**holding a coffin**.

“Jesus! Honey, what is that?” I shouted, shaking. “I thought you went out. I locked the door! How did you come back inside? And what is that coffin for?”

My whole body was trembling.

David looked at me, but his eyes

09/01/2026

30/12/2025

⚜️⚜️⚜️
Mike : Hi dear.
Dora :- 👋🏽
Mike : How are you .??
Dora :- 😊👍🏽
Mike : Missing me..?
Dora :- 😜😉
Mike : I'm not feeling well...
Dora :- 😱
Mike : How was your day..?
Dora :- 👌🏽
Mike : Are you busy.??
Dora :- ✔
Mike : Why ?? What are you doing ??
Dora:- 💄💅🏽
Mike : Is there anyone near you..?
Dora :- 🙅🏽‍♀️
Mike : Why don't you reply in words? Why are you using emojis?
Dora :- 😥😡
Mike : I heard you failed in English?
Dora:- Who telled you ? It is false.. I goes to saw the resalt yastherday... I Passed away all my educations
Mike : Hmmm lets go back to emojis pls 😳😳😳
Dora:- Ok dear, God blast u.

Dear ladies, is it hard to reply in a respectful manner😂😂😂
Anyway follow me for more jokes and stories