Every human should be able

Like the Nostrodamus of butts, Sir Mix-a-Lot foresaw a future in which we’d all be as obsessed with ass as he is. Nicki Minaj sampled him heavily for ‘Anaconda’, J. Lo and Iggy Azalea gifted the world with a track simply titled ‘Booty,’ and Kim Kardashian is a person who exists. No karaoke night is complete without a salute to the song that started it all.

When everyone else is screaming out pop hits like cans of spray cheese gone amok, class up the joint with Patsy Cline’s mournful country classic, written for her by Willie Nelson in 1961. The simple melody doesn’t require vocal pyrotechnics, so this is good choice for less showy singers. And the slow, steady tempo gives you plenty of room to croon, back-phrase and otherwise make the song yours.

When that opening calliope riff hits, everyone in the bar will know you’ve just cued up Smokey’s timeless ode to weepy bedroom solitude. To sell it, you’ll need to summon the gods of skyscraper-topping Motown vocals (the original was recorded at the famed label’s studio A) so why not take a tip from the pros. Legendary Apollo Theater performers like Robinson would rub a lucky tree stump before heading out on the stage. Find the nearest arboreal equivalent (most likely some formica paneling) and go for it.

Written by the Bee Gees, this chart-topping 1983 duet has become a karaoke staple. Even if your singing voice lacks even a trace of country grit, it’s a song you can’t really go wrong with, not least because everyone in the room will be singing along by the time you reach the chorus. Best performed in a cowboy hat with a hint of a line-dancing shuffle.

This Motown-inspired pop banger has more energy than a labrador puppy. That makes it a guaranteed karaoke crowd-pleaser even if music snobs might try to tell you it’s ‘a bit cheesy’. They’re wrong, obviously, and do not let his put you off. If you’re not much of a singer, just play Andrew to your singing partner’s George and deliver a Grammy-winning performance on air tambourine.

For a certain generation of rap fans - and even non-fans who just watched a lot of MTV back in the ‘90s and absorbed it subconsciously - the words to this West Coast gangsta classic live in the same part of the brain that also contains the lyrics to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme, Smash Mouth’s ‘All Star’ and several childhood nursery rhymes. That is to say, most everyone can recite every single line from memory, from the snippet of Young Guns dialogue at the beginning to the ‘chords…strings…we brings…melody’ part at the end. It’s also one of the best karaoke duets, although you’ll certainly have to roshambo for the Nate Dogg role.

There are few things quite so rare and precious in life as those places and people that feel like home way down in your bones, and this cute, stompy duet from 2010 hits the nail squarely and sweetly on the head with its heartfelt chorus: ‘Home is wherever I'm with you.’ Bonus: There’s ample opportunity for group whistling here.

Just the sound of those opening piano chords is enough to send anyone with ears into a swoon, such is the singular beauty of this 1967 Goffin and King classic. The question is, do you have the pipes—or the chutzpah—to take it on? Aretha’s spine-tinglingly sung point here is that her man makes her feel like a red-blooded, musky, perfect-as-she-is woman, and she wants to bust open her heart to tell you this glorious truth. Sing it like a queen, or not at all.

There are few requirements involved in performing the Beastie Boys’ brazen ode to youthful rebellion. You must be awake. You must be able to read. The barrier to entry is low for this karaoke song, making it one of your easiest and best options for some sophomoric fun. It’s also highly recommended to have a gaggle of friends on stage all yelling with you into one microphone. But really, in the spirit of the song, there are no rules. If someone tries to tell you otherwise, throw a pie in their face.

Every human should be able to recite at least one couplet from this 1990 global smash, do so without shame. Yes, the song is so stupid in so many ways, but it's also a stone-cold specimen of pristine pop. Theres that perfect bassline, swiped from ‘Under Pressure’ by Queen and David Bowie, Ice’s ludicrous braggadocio (‘Quick to the point to the point no fakin’ / Cookin’ MCs like a pound of bacon’) and, of course, that dance routine with those pants. Word to your mother.