Ielts English

Organising Thoughts in Task 2 Writing

This is a very long post and would be the content of a normal 2 hour writing class if I was doing this in an IELTS preparation class so take your time and go slowly through the points raised here.

It seems obvious but to organise your thoughts for a Task 2 IELTS essay, read the question and answer the question. This is the biggest failing in the writing test, a mistake made even by native English speakers: some candidates do not answer the question. I have seen this mistake made even by teachers of IELTS classes!

Here is an example.

Some people say that international sports help to improve understanding between nations. Others think that they are a waste of money.

Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

To answer this question correctly there are 3 parts:

1. why do some people think that international sports improves understanding

2. why do some people think international sports are a waste of money

3. what is your opinion

If any one of these parts is left out, you will get a low score for the first assessment criteria 'Task Response'.

Look at what the Public Band Descriptors say about this:

Band 5 TR:
• addresses the task only partially;
• expresses a position but the development is not always clear
• presents some main ideas but these are limited and not sufficiently developed

[I have left out one comment at B5: "the format may be inappropriate in places" - this means DO NOT DO what I just did above - DO NOT use dot points or bullet points. It is written clearly in the Public Band Descriptors but candidates break this rule all the time - DO NOT USE DOT OR BULLET POINTS.

What score will you get for TR if you break this rule.

Yes - B5 and it will be B5 even if you are a native speaker and get B9 for all other criteria!]

How do you begin an essay like this?

First, take a side. Write a two-sentence introduction in which you MAKE YOUR OPINION CLEAR. The first sentence is a general introduction to the topic and the second gives your clear opinion but also mentions the other side and you do this with a subordinate clause because this will help with your grammar score.

"Many people have strong opinions about the value of international sports. While some people contend that competition between nations is a misuse of money, it is clear that such competitions are mandatory if international understanding is to improve."

This is quite a high-level introduction because it attempts to use high level grammar and vocabulary but it could be written more simply but still present the writer's view very clearly.

Why is is necessary to write introductions like this?

Look at what the Public Band Descriptors say at B7:
- presents a clear position throughout the response

I do not want the Examiner to have any doubt at all about what my view is on this issue and I have achieved this int he second sentence of the introduction.

I do not say: 'I will discuss this side and then the other side and after due consideration I will give my opinion.' Why not?

I do not write this way because it does not make my position clear from the beginning and will prevent me from getting B7 for TR.

A quick note on the body paragraphs. The body paragraphs will follow the exact order of the introduction:

- why some people think international sports is a waste of money
- why I think they are necessary for better understanding between nations

I do not need a third paragraph with my opinion because my opinion is spread throughout the entire essay.

The first body paragraph might begin: "Some people may maintain that competition between nations is a waste of money for several reasons. Some will argue, for example, that money can be better spent on healthcare and education. If governments spend their limited resources on education, for instance, the teachers will be able to discuss with the students the cultures of other nations and help them come to an understanding of others that will not be limited to only the people who play sports. Consequently, every person throughout the nation will come to a better understanding of others and this will ultimately have benefits for the country economically as it will be able to build better business contacts and will not waste money on military and arms spending."

Note the important elements of this paragraph. It really only has one main point: that government should spend money on education and healthcare. Importantly, it then expands on the value of spending money on education in building better understanding and also expands the argument further to say what benefits might result for the country in doing this. That is, the main point is supported and expanded. And most importantly, I am directly answering the question.

The second body paragraph must be a direct response to the questions asked and might begin:

"Nevertheless, despite these arguments, it is imperative that international competition continues because of its enormous positive impact on the understanding we have of other nations. The direct contact between sportspeople from many nations leads to a deep understanding that we are all alike despite the physical differences that might be apparent such as the way we look or colour of our skin. This means that when sportspeople return home they will be able to talk to others about their experiences and convince them that people of the world have more similarities between them than differences. This will have a great impact on the public because these sports people are greatly admired, far more than a teacher, and their words will have a far greater positive effect than the words of a teacher in a school."

This paragraph does much the same as the previous one: it presents a main point - 'international sports must continue' - and then supports wy they should continue and expands the ideas to say how they help improve understanding. This sort of development and expansion of the ideas is essential for achieving a higher band score.

Look at what the Public Band Descriptors say at B7:
- presents, extends and supports main ideas

If a candidate fails to do this, they cannot achieve B7 for TR.

The ideas you use in an essay do not have to be complicated but they do have to be supported and extended. You can do this with simple ideas and still get a high mark.

It is with deepest sadness we write to express our sincere condolences and deep sympathy to the Royal Family and all Thai people on the tragic passing of HRH King Bhumibol Adulyadej.

The thoughts and prayers of IELTS English are with all Thai people at this difficult time and particularly with our ex-students and Thai colleagues.

We can only hope that the sadness and loss felt so strongly will find some resolution in the coming weeks and months and that Thailand will advance into the future in the way that the King would have wanted.

In memory of HRH King Bhumibol Adulyadej, King Rama 9 of Thailand.

The thoughts and prayers of IELTS English are with the King at this time. Long live the King.

As you will have noticed IELTS English has not been posting updates for some time. This is because we are now working in an area that we are unable to disclose at this time but rest assured that all the posts here are VERY relevant to the IELTS exam and getting a good score.

Please read past posts carefully or refer to the blog for an easy way to track down each post.

We will continue to make relevant posts to assist with your IELTS preparation.

IELTS TASK 2 WRITING: STRUCTURING PARAGRAPHS

Today we will continue with a description of how to structure a TASK 2 paragraph. The first thing to understand is that there is no rule about this. A good paragraph will have a TOPIC SENTENCE that describes what the paragraph is about and it will be highly focused but there are actually many different ways that paragraphs can be written.

Here is one possible outline for a paragraph:

Topic sentence (a short sentence which says specifically what the paragraph is about)
main point 1 (first point supporting the topic sentence)
- support sentence 1 (explain what is meant by main point 1)
- support sentence 2 (explain what the consequences are of support sentence 1)
main point 2 (second point supporting the topic sentence)
- support sentence 1 (explain what is meant by main point 2)
- support sentence 2 (explain what the consequences are of support sentence 2)

There are many other structures that could be used. The point is that the paragraph expands and develops the arguments related to whatever the topic is that you are responding to.

Here is how such a paragraph might look for the previous post related to the use of mobile phones:

To begin with, it is argued by some that cell phones cause some problems. (The topic sentence-it tells you what this paragraph is about) Face-to-face communication is a case in point. (This is the first main point: it just means face-to-face communication is an example.) When people go to dinner, for instance, everyone sits around the table using their mobile phone, ignoring their friends sitting right in front of them. (That is support sentence 1 that explains main point 1). This can lead to a breakdown in the relationships between people if they feel offended and hurt when their friends show no interest in talking to them. (This extends the argument by showing a consequence of the previous sentence - it is support sentence 2 for main point 1. Now we add main point 2.) In addition, mobile phones can be very expensive. (second main point.) The problem is that the cost of a smart phone is often very high and models come out frequently. (first support sentence explaining the problem) When young people are lured into constantly updating their phone, the financial burden can be enormous leading to significant stress and pressure on the individual, which may have a detrimental effect on their daily life. (Second support sentence that shows the consequence of expensive phones.)

This is only one possible way to structure the paragraph. There really is an unlimited number of ways this can be achieved. The KEY POINT is that the paragraph is targeted on the topic that has been asked, it extends and develops the argument and DOES NOT simply list some main points without support sentences.

EXTENDING AND SUPPORTING the main points is critical. Essays which simply list a number of main points without developing these arguments cannot achieve a high score. Look at what the Public Band Descriptors say about this:

Band 7 (Task Response): presents, extends and supports main ideas

Clearly, if this is not done, it is impossible for the candidate to be awarded Band 7.

IELTS English apologises for no post yesterday. We are very busy at this time and this prevented us from making the post. We will continue the posts as normal at 4pm today.

TASK 2 WRITING: INTRODUCTIONS and STRUCTURE

Here is an IELTS Task 2 task:

“Some people say that computer technology has been an extremely valuable development. Others disagree.
Discuss both sides of this issue and give your own opinion.”

The very first thing to understand here is that the wording: “Discuss both sides of this issue and give your own opinion.” DOES NOT tell you the order in which the essay should be written. That is, I DO NOT have to discuss the issue FIRST and then give my opinion.

First, the candidate must decide where they stand on the issue. MAKE YOUR LIFE SIMPLE! Write the essay in the simplest way that will get you a high score and this DOES NOT mean saying ‘I partly agree and partly disagree’. To write an essay like that well, is quite difficult.

I will take the side that computer technology is a good thing.

Now the question tells me I MUST do THREE very important things to answer the question fully:

1 write about WHY some people think computer technology is bad
2 write about WHY I think it is good
3 show my opinion throughout the essay i.e. IN EVERY PARAGRAPH

This is easier than it sounds. Here is one structure that could be used:

Introduction (all sides addressed, clear opinion given)
Body paragraph 1 (other side)
Body paragraph 2 (my side)
Conclusion (restate my opinion)

There is, of course, no rule about the number of paragraphs in the essay. Candidates could write 4 body paragraphs if they wanted … BUT … you have 40 minutes and only 250 words, so this is not really a great idea.

The word length for this essay would be:

Introduction (40 words - 2 sentences)
Body paragraph 1 (90 words)
Body paragraph 2 (90 words)
Conclusion (40 words - 2 sentences)

We have already discussed introductions. I will put my opinion right there IN THE INTRODUCTION so the reader is VERY CLEAR about what I think. I WILL NOT SAY “I think” or “in my opinion” because this is not allowed in academic writing BUT, if you look carefully at the IELTS Public Band Descriptors, they DO NOT say you cannot do this in an IELTS exam. Nevertheless, I want to write a good essay by ANY STANDARD so I won’t do it because it is not acceptable in high level writing.

INTRODUCTION
To introduce the topic I need a general sentence that raises the issue of computer technology. There are tens of thousand of ways to write such a sentence. Here is one way:

“Over the past 50 years computer technology has exploded into every part of modern life.”

This sentence stands alone. It does not carry on into another sentence. Its only purpose is to raise the issue of computer technology so the reader has an idea about what this essay is about.

The second sentence of the introduction will give my opinion on this issue but it will also raise the other side of this issue because I was asked in the task to address both sides of the issue AND give a clear opinion. I will do all of this in the next sentence:

“While some people may argue that computer technology has a number of drawbacks, it is very clear that it has far more advantages than disadvantages.”

Can you tell which side I am on? I have not said “I think” or “I believe” but it is very clear that the writer is in favour of computer technology. It is also clear that the writer might recognise some of the disadvantages (“far more advantages than disadvantages”) but that for the writer these disadvantages are not nearly as important as the advantages. This is a very clear opinion and it is right here in the introduction.

PLEASE NOTE that NOTHING in the way the question is asked REQUIRES that I discuss this topic and THEN give my opinion. It is absolutely fine to give my opinion and justify it later - this approach also makes for a very clear essay.

The entire introduction is therefore:

“Over the past 50 years computer technology has exploded into every part of modern life. While some people may argue that computer technology has a number of drawbacks, it is very clear that it has far more advantages than disadvantages.”

I can write this in a better way but this is quite simple and yet still does what is required at Band 7 in the IELTS Task 2 Writing Band Descriptors for Task Response;

“gives a clear position”

Note that one important way I have achieved this is because I used the expression: “While some people may argue …” because this shows the reader clearly that this IS NOT the writer’s opinion - this is what OTHER people say. In an indirect way, this phrasing gives the writer’s opinion.

FIRST BODY PARAGRAPH
In this paragraph I will present the other side of the argument, the side I DO NOT agree with. So I begin with a paraphrase of the first clause above: “While some people may argue that computer technology has a number of drawbacks, …”

One way to begin might be:

“To begin with, IT IS ARGUED BY SOME that computer technology causes several problems.”

(I will discuss the structure of good paragraphs next time.)

SECOND BODY PARAGRAPH
The second body paragraph presents THE WRITER’S SIDE and it is achieved very simply.

“Nevertheless, despite these arguments, computer technology has so many more advantages than disadvantages that its use is imperative.”

Note that this word “Nevertheless” carries a lot of meaning - while it is similar to “although” or “however” it carries more meaning than either of these words. It essentially means that what I have said is true but what I am about to say is still true regardless of what I said before.

(I will discuss the structure of good paragraphs next time.)

CONCLUSION
We really need to develop the second body paragraph to know exactly how to write the conclusion but we can give a general idea here and then we will come back and revise it in a couple of days time:

“In short, although computer technology may have some disadvantages, it has far more advantages especially for # # and # # .”

Notice that I have had to leave the two aspects of computer technology that I should have discussed in the second body paragraph blank because we have not written the paragraph yet. BUT … we will - tomorrow.

We will also add an extra sentence to the conclusion then as well.

Nevertheless, you can see that even this one sentence conclusion gives a very clear opinion. So we have achieved something very important here: in every paragraph of this essay we have been able to express a very clear opinion and it really wasn’t that hard to achieve.

IELTS TASK 2 WRITING:TIPS & INTRODUCTION

This advice may well sound too simple to be serious. It is indeed simple advice, but it is critical to IELTS Writing success.

When you write an essay, how many times do you look back at the question to check that what you are writing is answering the question you think you have been asked?

Many candidates get a very low IELTS score in Task 2 writing because they have not answered the question they were asked. Look at what the Public Band Descriptors say about this:

Band 5: addresses the task only partially;
Band 4: responds to the task only in a minimal way or the answer is tangential (not directly related to what was asked)
Band 1: answer is completely unrelated to the task

If you think Band 1 would not be given to a good writer, think again.

How do you make sure you are writing on the topic you have been asked?

STEP 1:Re-read the question every time you start a new paragraph and identify which part of the question the paragraph you are writing answers.

STEP 2:Every time you write a sentence identify how that sentence answers the question you have been asked. Don't do this from memory - take your pencil and POINT to it on the question paper.

Even though you are under severe time pressure, do not just write the essay without constantly referring back to the question you have been asked.

The penalty for missing the topic and writing an irrelevant answer is huge - do not become a victim to this frequent mistake by IELTS candidates.

THE MYTH OF ESSAY TYPES
Too many teachers place far too much emphasis on essay types in the IELTS Writing Test. They will tell you about problem and solution type essays, advantages and disadvantages essays, agree and disagree types essays and so on. This is a real TRAP.

READ THE QUESTION. ANSWER THE QUESTION.

I cannot say this enough. Too many students write essays that are unrelated to at least one part of an essay question because they talk about advantages and disadvantages when that was not the question that was asked.

Here is a very simple example of this. Suppose you were asked this question:

Some people think that children learn history best from historical television programs. Others believe they can learn best from history websites.
Discuss the advantages of both of these methods and give your own opinion.

This essay IS NOT asking for advantages and disadvantages. In this question candidates must do three things very, very clearly:

1. Explain some of the benefits of learning history from TV programs
2. Explain some of the benefits of learning history from an Internet history website.
3. Explain clearly which you think is best.

On point 3, candidates MUST give a clear opinion. That opinion might be that it is possible to learn effectively both ways or that one way is better than the other. BUT … it must be a very clear opinion and NOT something link:

“… the issue is so complicated that individuals must make up their own minds about this matter.”

Many students fail to put clear opinions on these types of essays, either not giving an opinion at all, giving a very confusing opinion or stating an opinion unsupported by the essay they have written.

If you read the question carefully, it is very clear what you have to do. DON’T TRY TO REMEMBER PATTERNS for essays. READ THE QUESTION and ANSWER THE QUESTION ASKED.

I promised to show how to write the full introduction today but I have made this slight detour to explain the importance of giving a direct response to the question asked because the way we must write the full introduction is determined by the need to give a direct answer to the question and we will continue this tomorrow.

TASK 2 WRITING: THE INTRODUCTION

We have talked a lot about Task 1 essays over the past 5 weeks or so and I want to take a break for a day or two to mention some very important aspects of Task 2 Writing.

Here is a Task 2 question:

"Some people argue that early marriage is part of traditional lifestyle in some countries and should be respected. Others say it is damaging to young girls and their future.Discuss both sides of this issue and give your own opinion."

While there are many ways this question can be answered, the simplest way to achieve a high score is to make sure you give avery clear position right in the introduction.

Look at what the Public Band Descriptors say at Band 7 under Task Response:

“presents a clear position throughout the response”

Given this information, it may not be a good idea to write an introduction like:

"This essay looks at ideas in favour of and against early marriage."

or

"This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of early marriage and give my opinion."

or even this, which someone is teaching candidates in Bangkok:

“This essay will look at the pros and cons of early marriage and after our consideration I will give my opinion.”

While these introductions do give a clear position about what the candidate is going to write, none of them make cleat what the candidate believes and this makes the whole essay a little less clear than it could be.

These introduction fail to give a clear opinion in the introduction and the next two paragraphs, if they just list the advantages and disadvantages, may also fail to make it clear where the writer stands.

If the writer then leaves their opinion to the conclusion, it may not be clear at all and this could mean the candidate has not addressed one part of the task and would lead to a Band 5 for Task Response according to the Public Band Descriptors:

“addresses the task only partially”

So what could the writer have done to solve this problem?

One approach might be something like this (second sentence of the introduction):

"While some people may suggest that early marriage is simply a reflection of culture and tradition, this argument fails to take into account the damage and devastation it can cause in the lives of many young girls."

The very strong language "damage and devastation", makes it very clear where the writer stands even though they have not written "I think" anywhere.

This also sounds like it is going to be a much more interesting essay to read.

Try it out. Take a position and make it clear. It is not too hard once you get the idea.

NOTE:
This example is really written at a quite high level. Here is a simpler version that also gives a clear opinion:

“While some people may suggest that early marriage is simply a tradition, it is clear that it is unfair to the girl.”

Of course, it does’t matter which side of the argument you take:

“While some people think that early marriage is bad for girls, it is an important part of several traditional cultures and should be respected.”

Both these are simpler than the example above and both give a very clear opinion of where the writer stands.

We will talk more about introductions tomorrow as I would normally advise students to write a 2 sentence introduction where the sentences shown here would actually be the SECOND SENTENCE of the introduction.

A LITTLE BIT OF GRAMMAR IN TASK 1 WRITING

The key to a good result in the IELTS Writing Task 1 is:

Write a structure which has 3 parts: introduction, overview (key features) and details (data).
Write sentence structures that include subordinate clauses.
Connect the sentences logically.

The graph in this post is very simple (a real IELTS task 1 graph would have 2 or 3 more lines).

When writing the sentences for the details part of the essay you should make sure you use this type of sentence design:

Connective + time + description + data

The order these can be rearranged to vary the sentence structures. Here is an example:

It can be seen in the graph that from 2002 to 2004 the consumption of red meat remained constant at 1500 g/week.

This follows the pattern: Connective + time + description + data

However, the sentence could have been written this way:

In detail, the consumption of red meat, which stood at 1500 g/week in 2002, remained constant until the end of the period in 2004.

This follows the pattern: [Connective + data + time + description +time]

Candidates who fail to write the details section of the Task 1 without the ‘time’ and ‘data’ (or whatever the axes of the graph are labeled in) are destined to get Band 5 for Task achievement according to the Public Band Descriptors which say:

Band 5: “there may be no data to support the description”

Here are some very simple sentences that describe the graph above in the format required in the IELTS exam:

INTRODUCTION:
The graph gives information about the consumption of red meat between 2002 and 2010.

A better sentence would be this:
The graph gives information about the amount of red meat which as consumed over the period between 2002 and 2010.

(Why is this a better sentence?)

OVERVIEW:
Overall, the consumption of red meat tumbled over the period shown.

Here is a better sentence that says the same:
Overall, although consumption of red meat was relatively stable at both the start and end of the period, it tumbled dramatically between 2004 and 2008.

(Why is this a better sentence?)

DETAILS:
In detail, red meat consumption began at 1500 g/week in 2002. Consumption stayed constant at 1500 g/week until 2004. From 2004 to 2008, consumption of red meat went into free-fall, declining 60% to reach just 300 g/week. Consumption levelled out at 300 g/week for the remainder of the period. (49 words)

While all of these sentences are grammatically correct there is NO LINKING between them, ALMOST NO COMPLEX STRUCTURES and NO EXAMPLES OF REFERENCE (where a word like “this” or “it” is used to refer to something talked about earlier).

Here is another attempt:

In detail, although red meat consumption, which began at 1500 g/week in 2002, stayed constant at this level until 2004, it plunged dramatically after this time, falling continuously over the next 4 years to 300 g/week by 2008. This represented a substantial decline of 60%, in relative terms. Consumption subsequently levelled out and remained constant at 300 g/week for the remainder of the period. (64 words)

(Why is this better than the first attempt?)

SUBORDINATE CLAUSES
Notice the use of the subordinate clause structure with “although”:

In detail, although red meat consumption, which began at 1500 g/week in 2002, stayed constant at this level until 2004, it plunged dramatically after this time, falling continuously over the next 4 years to 300 g/week by 2008.

It is very important that candidates understand that subordinators like: “although”, “even though”, “while”, “ whereas” and all other subordinators require two clauses. The sentence pattern is:

[subordinator] + clause , clause

e.g. Although sales began at 200 cars per month in 2000, they soared spectacularly to over 1000 per month by 2010.

We could also write:
Sales began at 200 cars per month in 2000 although they soared spectacularly to over 1000 per month by 2010.

Here the pattern is:

clause + [subordinator] + clause

Candidates should note that linguistic research shows that this is a higher level sentence structure that is not used by lower level English learners!

IELTS WRITING AND SPEAKING: SUBORDINATION and IELTS GRAMMAR

In the IELTS Writing and Speaking tests the rules for grammar are almost identical. The IELTS Public Band Descriptors say this in relation to Grammar:

BAND 4: uses only a very limited range of structures with only rare use of subordinate clauses
BAND 5: attempts complex sentences but these tend to be less accurate than simple sentences
BAND 6: uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms
BAND 7: uses a variety of complex structures

Subordinate structures are just one kind of complex structure but you can see how important they are in the IELTS exam by the statement that appears at Band 4 level in the Public Band Descriptors:

BAND 4: “only RARE USE of subordinate clauses".

The implication here is that if you want to get higher than Band 4, your use of subordinate clauses must be more than rare.

So what are subordinate clauses? Today we will look at just one kind and in the next several posts we will deal with a number of additional kinds.

Do you need to know more than one kind of subordinate structure?

Look at what the Public Band Descriptors say:

BAND 7: "uses a VARIETY of complex structures".

It is clear therefore that if you want a higher band score you MUST know how to use a RANGE of subordinate structures.

Relative Clauses
I will not go over the grammar of these here but just show some examples of how they could be used in an IELTS exam.

Remember that relative clauses are ones that begin with: who, that, which, where, when, why.

SPEAKING TEST
How do you get to work/school?
"I use the bus which passes right near my home so it is very convenient".

"My dad drives me to school, which takes about 30 minutes".

Do you like travelling?"
I like travelling to places which are not crowded".

"I like to see people who have different cultures and speak different languages".

WRITING TEST
"This graph shows the method which is used to make pencils".

"This flow chart shows the steps which must be followed to get a passport".

"This graph illustrates the popularity of various foods which were consumed by people who lived in the UK in 2002". (There are 2 relative clauses here.)

"In detail, the consumption of fish, which began at 80 grams per week in 1990, grew steadily over the period to reach its highest value at the end of the period in 2010, when it hit 180 grams per week". (There are 2 relative clauses here.)

In Task 2 writing the opportunities to use subordinate structures are really unlimited:
"To begin with, computers, which have become much more affordable over recent years, give people the opportunity to communicate very easily and cheaply".

I have deliberately used "which" in most of these examples (however, note the clauses beginning with "who" and "when").

Check a grammar book for these two types of relative clauses and how they are used:

DEFINING CLAUSE
”I like food which is really spicy". (Defining clause because it tells you which kind of food I like - there are no commas in this clause).

NON-DEFINING or EXTRA INFORMATION CLAUSE
”Margarine, which was introduced in 1970, became the most popular spread by the end of the period".
(Non-defining clause because it is not essential to the meaning of the sentence and it is marked by a comma in front and at the end of the clause.)

Practice using all the different types of relative clause markers (who, that, which, where, when, …etc.) so that you can produce a variety of relative clause structures in the test.

We will look at another example of subordination next time.