https://www.facebook.com/105573898442853/

Living, Jungle, Juba (2026)

19/09/2026

COMFORT FINALLY FOUND COMFORT

The Woman My Village People Sent to Me

Those days, Comfort was always throwing jabs at me in the comment section.

NONE OF MY POSTS MADE SENSE TO THIS LADY.

I could post something funny—she would react with anger.

I could make a serious comment—she would still react with anger.

Even when she found my comment under somebody else's post, she would press that ANGRY REACTION like Facebook had employed her as a full-time opposition leader.

Her name was Comfort, but honestly…

SHE NEVER MADE ME FEEL COMFORTABLE.

I started suspecting that my village people had personally recruited her.

Maybe they held a meeting and said:

“This Mariano is enjoying life too much. Let's send Comfort to disturb his peace.”

So one day, I came up with a brilliant plan.

I thought:

“Let me tell this girl that I like her. Maybe love will soften her heart.”

I gathered courage and told her:

“Comfort, I LIKE YOU.” ❤️

Do you know what she replied?

JUST ONE LAUGHING EMOJI!

😂

My confidence immediately left the group chat.

I felt embarrassed, but I tried to remain strong.

Then, several hours later, she replied again:
“Ever since I was born, I have never seen darkness complimenting light.”

AHHHHHHHHH!

I nearly vomited my ancestral confidence.

My stomach started boiling like hot water.

I asked her:

“Wait first! WHO IS THE DARKNESS AND WHO IS THE LIGHT?”

She replied with another:

😂

That was the exact moment I decided to carry my pain like a responsible adult.

I unfriended her.

BLOCKED THE EMOTIONAL HIGHWAY.

And from that day, I stopped seeing her traces on my timeline.

For FOUR GOOD MONTHSSSSSS!

Peace returned.

My posts began breathing.

My comments could finally sleep peacefully.

THE RETURN OF COMFORT

This morning, I woke up and reached for my phone before checking whether I was still alive.

I opened Facebook.

Friend requests everywhere.

But one name caught my attention.

COMFORT.

I froze.

I looked at the screen.

I rubbed my eyes.

I looked again.

“MY GOD! THEY HAVE SENT THIS WITCH BACK TO ME!”

I entered her timeline to investigate.

And that was when I discovered something that shook my entire spiritual foundation.

COMFORT HAD FINALLY FOUND COMFORT.

The woman who previously looked like a stockfish had apparently entered a new chapter of life.

Her transformation was so serious that I had to sit down.

I whispered:

“Lord… is this the same person who called me darkness?”

I started facing a difficult dilemma.

Should I accept her friend request?

Or should I protect my peace?

I told myself:

“NO! NEVER AGAIN, O YE SPIRIT OF DARKNESS!”

Because what if I accepted her?

What if she started throwing angry reactions again?

What if she returned to the comment section and resumed her professional duties?

I was about to decline the request.

I even positioned my finger properly.

But somehow…

MY HAND ACCEPTED IT.

Now, before you judge me…

It wasn't what you were thinking.

I had simply discovered an important lesson about life.

ALWAYS FORGIVE PEOPLE—ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU NOTICE A SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT IN THEIR LIVES.

Because life is about growth.

Life is about forgiveness.

Life is about second chances.

And sometimes…

LIFE IS ABOUT ACCEPTING A FRIEND REQUEST AFTER SOMEONE HAS EXPERIENCED A VERY NOTICEABLE TRANSFORMATION.

Comfort, my sister…

Welcome back.

But please…

NO MORE ANGRY REACTIONS.

✍🏾 Mariano

Ghetto President 🥷🏾

17/09/2026

THE MAN IN LEXUS AND MY WHITE SHIRT.

CHAPTER ONE: MY WHITE SHIRT DON DIE

That Saturday morning, I woke up with only one mission:

LOOK FRESH. LOOK CLEAN. LOOK LIKE FUTURE HUSBAND.

My crush was around the neighborhood, and today I was not going to look like somebody who came from nowhere.

I ironed my white shirt three times.
Sprayed perfume until even mosquitoes started respecting me.
White shirt. White sneakers. White everything.

I was walking like a music-video extra, feeling like Davido’s backup singer.

People were turning their heads.

I was telling myself, “Living, today you have arrived.”

Then, my brother…

MY STORY CHANGED.

From nowhere, one Lexus 450 came flying like it was chasing the World Cup trophy.

The driver hit a pothole.

GBAM!

Muddy water flew into the air like fireworks…

…and landed DIRECTLY ON ME.

My white shirt died on the spot.

No funeral.
No last words.
Nothing.

One second I was a gentleman.

The next second, I was wearing camouflage uniform.

The muddy water had even drawn the map of Africa on my chest without asking for permission.

My white sneakers?

Gone.

They were now village farming shoes.

And my crush was watching from a distance.

She looked at me like a disappointed referee.

I wanted the ground to open and swallow me immediately.

Then the Lexus stopped.

The man stepped out.

Tall. Calm. Simple.

He walked toward me, raised his hands like a church usher and said:

“My brother, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. It was an accident.”

But me?

FORGIVE?

Brother, forgive what?

You have just murdered my white shirt in broad daylight and you are telling me “sorry”?

I shouted:

“Do you know how many minutes I spent ironing this shirt?!”

Then I pointed at myself.

“Do you know how many YEARS I have been chasing this crush?!”

People started gathering.

One woman said,
“Please, young man, calm down. He has apologized.”

Another man said,
“My brother, leave it. If you fight him, you will regret it.”

But anger had already entered my bloodstream.

I was ready to give this peaceful Lexus owner WrestleMania Live in Juba.

I raised my fists.

The man just stood there calmly.

That calmness even made me angrier.

One woman shouted:

“Leave him! Can’t you see he is gentle?”

Gentle?

At that moment, I didn't care if he was Jesus Christ himself.

MY WHITE SHIRT WAS DEAD.

Finally, people dragged me away before I turned a traffic accident into a national emergency.

“Go home before you disgrace yourself!”

I went home.

I changed the shirt.

But the problem was…

I couldn't change my anger.

My shirt was clean again, but my heart was still dirty.

That Lexus man had planted something dangerous inside me.

REVENGE.

I looked at myself in the mirror and whispered:

«“One day… somehow… I will balance this equation.”»

What I didn't know was that the man in that Lexus was not just another stranger on the road.

And the next time I saw him…

my life was going to change completely.

TO BE CONTINUED…

✍️ Mariano,
Ghetto President ✊

14/09/2026

Dating a last born is sometimes fun.
Touch her nose and she will be like Baby what if I get pregnant 🤰

09/09/2026

THE PRAYER OF A MOTHER ❤️

Sometime in 2018, just a day before my birthday, I was in excruciating pain.

My mother was with me.

I tried my best to hide it from her.

But I don't know what mothers have that we don't understand.

Maybe they feel it.

Maybe they see it.

Or maybe the love between a mother and her child communicates through an unseen umbilical cord.

Whatever it is…

A mother knows.

That night, she would wake up in the middle of the night, pray for me quietly, and then go back to sleep.

I didn't want her to be scared.

I thought if she became worried, the fear might make things worse.

So before going to bed, I would sit with her and gist with her, pretending everything was okay.

I laughed.

I talked.

I acted normal.

But mothers are not easily fooled.

Eventually, she noticed.

She came into my room and told me:

“Stand up from the bed.”

I struggled and managed to stand.

She held both of my hands.

Then she started praying.

But this prayer was different.

VERY DIFFERENT.

Her voice changed.

Her eyes filled with tears.

Then she said:

“Lord, I know You have been wonderful to us. But whatever is happening in the body of this boy, please take it away.”

She paused.

Then came the part that frightened me.

“And if this is something happening because of his iniquities, transfer it into my body. Let me carry it. Let me die with it.”

I immediately pulled my hands away.

“What are you doing?!”

I exclaimed.

“What kind of prayer is that?”

But she didn't stop.

She went down on the floor.

She cried.

She prayed.

She pleaded with God.

And I stood there…

completely helpless.

I didn't know whether to stop her or join her.

For almost an hour, my mother prayed and cried.

Then, as if nothing had happened, she got up.

She went to the kitchen.

She cooked for me.

She brought the food.

And she served me.

I started eating.

But the exhaustion finally caught up with me.

I slept right there where I was eating.

The same sleep I had been unable to get for several days.

For the first time in days, my body relaxed.

I slept.

Deeply.

Peacefully.

Then my friend's phone call woke me up.

“Bro, where are you? Let's go somewhere and hang out. It's your birthday!”

I suddenly remembered.

MY BIRTHDAY.

For a moment, I had forgotten that I was even in pain.

I told my mother that my friends wanted me to go out.

She looked at me and simply said:

“Go and have fun.”

And I went.

That day, something changed.

The pain disappeared.

I WAS HEALED.

And nothing happened to my mother.

God answered her prayer.

Not the part where she asked to carry my suffering…

But the part where she asked God to take it away from me.

I had thought I wouldn't live to see another year.

But here I am.

The devil is a liar.

I have a God.

I have a mother.

And above everything…

I HAVE LIFE. ❤️

That experience taught me something I will never forget:

A mother's love is sometimes the only place where you can be completely broken and still feel safe.

A mother can look at you and see the pain you are desperately trying to hide.

She can cry for you when you have no tears left.

She can stand between you and whatever threatens you, even when she has nothing but prayer in her hands.

Mothers are extraordinary.

And sometimes…

Mothers are the closest thing to God that we experience on earth. ❤️

To every mother who has ever stayed awake praying for her child…

May God bless you.

✍🏾 Mariano
Ghetto President ✊🏾

07/09/2026

WIFE OF THE GENERAL

CHAPTER TWO: THE WOMAN AT MY DOOR

When she said

“Mariano… we need to talk.”

My heart immediately started beating like JEDCCO light had finally returned after six months.

I looked at her.

She looked at me.

Nobody spoke.

The silence was so loud that I could hear my own poverty breathing.

I finally asked:

“Madam… good morning. But why are you here?”

She smiled.

“I came to see you.”

SEE ME?!

At 8 AM?

At my house?

After I had just dreamed about a pregnant woman calling me “my baby love”?!

My brain immediately opened an emergency meeting.

Agenda:

1. Who is this woman?

2. Why is she here?

3. Why did she smile like that?

4. Why does she look exactly like the woman from my dream?

5. And most importantly… WHO IS THE GENERAL?

I tried to remain calm.

“Please come inside.”

She entered.

I quickly closed the door.

Not because of romance.

Because I was afraid the landlord might see me.

She sat down.

I remained standing.

She looked at me and said:

“You remember me?”
I said:

“Honestly, my memory is currently under investigation.”

She laughed.

Then she said:

“I am the General's wife.”

WHICH GENERAL?!

My entire body became cold.

The dream.

The pregnant woman.

The kiss.

The “baby love.”

Everything suddenly started connecting like pieces of a puzzle designed by the devil himself.

I sat down slowly.

“Madam… please explain.”

She looked around my room.

Then looked back at me.

“I have been hearing about you for some time.”

HEARING ABOUT ME?!

I immediately became uncomfortable.

Because in South Sudan, when someone says:

“I have been hearing about you…”

It can mean anything from marriage proposal to court summons.

I asked:

“Who told you about me?”

She smiled.

“My husband.”

I nearly fell from the chair.

THE GENERAL KNOWS ME?!

At that point, I remembered every General I had ever seen in my life.

I started doing mental calculations.

Did I owe anybody money?

Did I accidentally insult a General online?

Did I comment under somebody's wife's picture?

Did I mistakenly like an old Facebook post?

WHAT HAVE I DONE?!

Then she dropped another bomb:

“My husband wants to meet you.”
My brother…

I SAW MY ANCESTORS.

I looked toward the window.

The room suddenly felt too small.

I started wondering whether I should escape through the back door.

But before I could stand up, she continued:

“He knows everything.”
I swallowed.

“Everything about what?”

She smiled again.

Then whispered:

“About the dream.”

THE DREAM?!

I stood up immediately.

“Madam…”

She interrupted me.

“Don't be afraid.”

My brother, how can somebody tell you “don't be afraid” after saying a General knows about your dream?!

That is exactly when fear becomes a full-time employee.

Then she reached into her handbag.

Pulled out an envelope.

And placed it on my table.

I stared at it.

“What is this?”

She said:

“The General asked me to give you this.”

I looked at the envelope.

Then at her.

Then back at the envelope.

My hands started shaking.

Because suddenly I realized…

THIS WAS NO LONGER A DREAM.

And whatever was inside that envelope…

WAS ABOUT TO CHANGE MY LIFE.

I slowly reached for it.

Opened it.

And the first thing I saw was a photograph.

I looked at the picture.

My jaw dropped.

BECAUSE THE WOMAN IN THE PHOTOGRAPH WAS THE SAME WOMAN WHO KISSED ME IN MY DREAM.

“Madam… WHO IS THIS WOMAN?”

She looked at me calmly.

Then said:

“That is my husband's first wife.”

TO BE CONTINUED…

✍🏾 Mariano
Ghetto President

06/09/2026

I SLEPT OFF IN CHURCH TODAY.

I went to church today after hearing some very important news.

Today was the dedication of one of our church member’s children.

And you know what that means in African churches…

RICE. 🍚
MEAT. 🍗
DRINKS. 🥤
AND FOOD THAT CAN MAKE A SINGLE MAN FORGET HIS SINS.

My brothers and sisters, I didn't go to church empty-handed.

I WENT PREPARED.

I carried my spoon.

I carried a big polythene bag.

I even wore clothes with enough pocket space for leftovers.

My plan was simple:

PRAY → EAT → PACK SOMETHING → GO HOME.

But just when I was already imagining the rice entering my stomach…

I heard the devastating news:

“THE CELEBRATION HAS BEEN CANCELLED.”

CANCELLED?!

My brothers and sisters…

I almost collapsed.

My eyes became watery.

My stomach started making sounds like a generator trying to start without fuel.

All hope was gone.

I sat there quietly while HUNGER was doing its job professionally.

At some point, I couldn't fight it anymore.

I leaned back.

Closed my eyes.

And slept.

Deep sleep.

VERY DEEP SLEEP.

I don't know how long I had been sleeping when suddenly I heard a powerful voice from what I can only describe as THE OTHER REALM.

“STAND!”

My body responded before my brain could process the instruction.

I STOOD UP IMMEDIATELY.

And when I opened my eyes…

THE WHOLE CONGREGATION WAS CLAPPING!

“GOD BLESS YOUUUU!”

“AMEN!”

“GOD WILL REWARD YOU!”

I looked around.

CONFUSED.

I slowly sat down.

I turned to the person beside me.

“Brother… what happened?”

He looked at me strangely.

Then whispered:

“The pastor asked who is willing to sponsor three orphans in the church to go abroad and support each of their families with 10 million.”

TEN MILLION?!

My brain restarted.

I looked at my hands.

Looked at the pastor.

Looked at the congregation.

Then whispered:

“But… I was sleeping!

Before I could explain myself properly, my neighbor leaned closer and said:

“That's your business oo.”

I said, “No, you don't understand! I wasn't awake! I didn't hear the question!”

He looked at me with pity.

Then dropped the final bomb:

“The pastor also said whoever promises and fails will die.”

MY BROTHER!

At that exact moment, I understood why everyone was clapping.

I had apparently volunteered for THIRTY MILLION while sleeping.

I didn't even know what country the orphans were going to!

I didn't know whether the money was SSP, USD or South Sudanese dreams!

I didn't even know whether I had stood voluntarily or my ancestors had pushed me up!

So, my brothers and sisters…

If you are reading this post, please remember me in your prayers.

Because apparently…

I AM NO LONGER AMONG THE LIVING.

I'm posting this joke from heaven.

The internet here is very fast though.

NO JEDCCO PROBLEM.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

NEVER SLEEP IN CHURCH.

Because you might wake up and discover that you have just volunteered to build a hospital, sponsor 15 students, buy the pastor a car and construct a new church.

ALL WHILE YOU WERE DREAMING ABOUT RICE.

✍🏾 Mariano
Ghetto President 🥷🏾

06/09/2026

DEAR BROTHER,

If I’m dating your ex, or a woman you once entangled with, please understand something.

I know how men sometimes feel when they see a woman they once had and think, “I know her. I know what she is capable of.”

But respectfully, you don’t know this woman anymore.

She is no longer the woman you left behind.

I did not just enter her life.
I helped her rebuild it.

I performed a factory reset on her mindset and replaced the old operating system with higher orientation, stronger character, wisdom, discipline, and self-worth.

If she was weak, she is strong now.
If she was gullible and naive, she is enlightened now.
If she was wild and reckless, she is organized and reserved now.
If she was beautiful then, she is breathtaking now.
If she was smart, she is smarter now.

In short, brother…

She is ten times the woman you left.

You met an Angel, broke her wings, and had fun watching her struggle to fly.

I met that same Angel, picked up the broken pieces, gave her room to heal, watched her wings grow back—and together, we built heaven around her.

So don't come around thinking you still have access to the woman you used to know.

That woman is gone.

Your Ex belongs to your past.

This woman is her future.

She is not your old chapter.
She is not your unfinished business.
She is not your second chance.

She is a Phoenix.

She rose from the ashes of everything that tried to destroy her.

And this Phoenix doesn't fly backward.

You can't manipulate this one.
You can't suppress this one.
You can't intimidate this one.
You can't break this one.

Her confidence speaks before she does.
Her face shows.
Her shoes shine.
Her character announces her.

So, brother…

Bow, buddy.

Because the woman you once knew is no longer available.

She is a Queen. 👑

And Queens don't return to kingdoms that once mistreated them.

✍️ Mariano

05/09/2026

WIFE OF THE GENERAL.

Chapter One: THE DREAM THAT CAME WITH A KNOCK ON THE DOOR.

Earlier this morning, I woke up with my heart vibrating like an activated bomb.
The first question that jumped into my mind was:

“WHO HAVE I OFFENDED IN THIS VILLAGE?”

Because, my people, I had just come out of the most suspicious dream of my entire life.

In the dream, a heavily pregnant woman suddenly appeared, walked straight toward me, kissed me gently on the cheek and whispered:

“My baby love…” ❤️
I woke up immediately.

SWEATING.

I looked around my room.

Nobody.

I checked under the bed.

Nobody.

I even checked behind the curtain like the dream woman might have followed me into reality.

But wait first!

I AM SINGLE.

And not just single…

I AM SINGLE AND NOT SEARCHING.

So where did this pregnant woman come from?

And why was she calling me “my baby love” as if we had already paid dowry?

I started thinking seriously.

Maybe it was a prophecy.

Maybe it was a spiritual message.

Maybe somebody had already married me in the spirit and forgot to inform me.

I immediately thought of telling my friends:

Joseph Mayar Yel, Ariath Golden, Bol Deng Kiir and Quol.

But I changed my mind.

Because I know those people.

The moment I tell them:

“Guys, I dreamed about a pregnant woman kissing me…”

They will immediately start congratulating me.

“Congratulations, bro!”

“Daddy is back!”

“Joseph has finally found his wife!”

“Baby shower loading!”

Before I could finish explaining the dream, they would have already created a WhatsApp group called:

WELCOME BABY MARIANO

So I decided:

Let me tell my pastor.

Maybe the pastor would interpret the dream spiritually.

But just as I was about to call him, something entered my mind.

MTN.

I remembered that I borrowed 1,000 SSP airtime from MTN.

And I have not paid it back for ONE FULL YEAR.

I looked at my phone.

Then I looked toward heaven.

“Lord, before you reveal the meaning of this dream, please don't let MTN reveal my debt to the whole village.”

Because at this point, even God might say:

“My son, first pay MTN. Then we can discuss your pregnant dream.”

I was moving around my scattered room like a drunkard looking for his lost trousers.

Back and forth.

Left.

Right.

Thinking.

Sweating.

Questioning my entire existence.

Then suddenly…

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

I froze.

Another knock.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

“Who is this one this early morning?”

I looked at my door.

My heart started beating faster.

I whispered:

“Please, let it not be my landlord.”

Because if my landlord had come, I had absolutely nothing to say.

Not even the MTN debt had been settled.

I slowly walked toward the door.

KNOCK!

I held the handle.

Paused.

Took a deep breath.

Then opened it.

And when I looked outside…

GUESS WHO I SAW?

NA CI THONG LOOR.

I nearly closed the door again.

Because suddenly…

THE DREAM STARTED MAKING SENSE.

And the way she looked at me?

My brother…

SHE HAD THE SAME SMILE AS THE WOMAN IN MY DREAM.

I stood there speechless.

She looked at me.

I looked at her.

She smiled.

Then she said:

“Mariano… we need to talk.”

At that exact moment, my heart stopped vibrating.

It started DANCING.

TO BE CONTINUED…

✍🏾 Mariano
Ghetto President ✊🏾

02/09/2026

THE INSTAGRAM MARRIAGE THAT BROUGHT A BRIDE TO MY HOUSE, CHAPTER ONE.

Yesterday, I made what I thought was a harmless joke.

A small joke.

A simple joke.

The kind of joke you post on Instagram and Twitter, laugh for five minutes, and continue with your peaceful bachelor life.

So I jokingly posted that I was married to a girl called Monica.

My intention?

ENTERTAINMENT.

For laughs.

For cruise.

For content.

The only problem was…

I DON'T EVEN KNOW MONICA!

My people took that joke and promoted it from social media content to a national marriage announcement.

By yesterday evening, my inbox was looking like a wedding reception.

“Congratulations, Mariano!” 🎉
“Happy married life!”
“May God bless your union!”
“When is the wedding party?”

I was replying:
But apparently, nobody understood that those laughing emojis were the cries of an innocent bachelor.

Then things started getting serious.

In our committee of friends, our chairman sent me a message.

No congratulations.

No blessings.

No happiness.

Just BUSINESS.

“You are fined 50,000 SSP for getting married without informing the committee.”

I said:

“CHAIRMAN, IT WAS A JOKE!”

He said:

“Marriage is not a joke. Pay the money.”
At that point, I realized I was no longer controlling my own marriage.

BUT THAT WAS JUST THE BEGINNING.

I don't know which communication network carried the news, but somehow…

MY CHURCH GOT THE INFORMATION.

Before I could explain anything…

I opened WhatsApp.

And discovered that I had been REMOVED FROM THE YOUTH FELLOWSHIP GROUP.

My heart stopped.

Then I received another notification:

“You have been added to MEN'S FELLOWSHIP.”
MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS…

JUST LIKE THAT, MY YOUTH EXPIRED.

I was promoted from:

🧍🏾‍♂️ Single Brother Living

To:

👨🏾‍🦱 Married Man Mariano

WITHOUT MY CONSENT!

But the real problem arrived this morning.

Around morning time…

MY MOTHER APPEARED AT MY HOUSE.

And she was not alone.

She came with a girl.

A beautiful village girl.

I looked at my mother.

Looked at the girl.

Looked back at my mother.

My spirit immediately opened a meeting.

My mother said:

“So you got married to a city girl without informing me?”
I started laughing.

Because surely…

THIS WAS A JOKE.

I said:

“Mama, it was just social media content.”

She didn't laugh.

That was when I became afraid.

She continued:

“Your father has no objection to you marrying a village girl.”

I nodded.

Then she pointed toward the girl.

“But this city girl you secretly married is RED LINE.”

I said:

“Mama, there is no city girl! I don't even know Monica!”
She looked at me.

Then looked at the girl she brought.

And delivered the statement that destroyed my entire peaceful life:

“Whether you are ready for marriage or not, this girl is staying here until you are ready.”
SILENCE.

I thought I heard wrongly.

I said:

“Mama?”
She continued:

“I have been keeping her for you. When you are ready, you will marry her.”
Then she gave me serious instructions about respecting the girl and behaving responsibly.

After finishing her speech…

MY MOTHER LEFT.

Just like that.

She dropped a FULL HUMAN BEING in my house and went home peacefully.

No receipt.

No return policy.

No customer care number.

Since morning, this thing has been doing me like a Nollywood film.

I gave the girl money.

I said:

“Please, take this money and go back home. When the time comes, I will come and discuss marriage.”
The girl looked at the money.

Looked at me.

And said:

“I'm not going anywhere.”

MY PEOPLE!!!

I tried explaining.

She refused.

I increased the money.

She still refused.

That's when I finally understood something very important:

EVEN VILLAGE GIRLS HAVE CONFIDENCE NOW.

So because I posted one innocent joke about marrying a woman I DON'T KNOW…

My friends fined me.

My church promoted me to Men's Fellowship.

My mother conducted her own emergency marriage meeting.

And now…

THERE IS A WOMAN IN MY HOUSE WHO REFUSES TO LEAVE.

Monica…

WHEREVER YOU ARE…

I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY.

Because of you, I have lost my Youth Fellowship membership, gained a bride, and nearly started a marriage I never applied for.

THE NEXT TIME I POST THAT I'M MARRIED, PLEASE CONFIRM FROM MY MOTHER FIRST.

Because apparently…

SHE TAKES MY SOCIAL MEDIA MORE SERIOUSLY THAN I DO.
As I'm talking to you now…

I am sitting in my own house like a visitor.

This girl is there.

I'm here.

My mother is somewhere in the village smiling.

And Monica is probably scrolling Instagram without knowing she has destroyed a man's bachelorhood.

I'm finished. 🤦🏾‍♂️

To be Continued.

✍️ Mariano
Ghetto President ✊🏾

01/09/2026

THE DEBTOR WHO DISCOVERED THAT MONEY CAN BE FOUND DURING AN EMERGENCY

I called a married lady who was owing me money.

She didn't pick up.

I called again.

No answer.

I called again…

Still nothing.

By the time I had called 10 times, I understood something:

This woman had suddenly developed a spiritual allergy to my phone number.

And because I knew her husband was not at home, my brain immediately entered Federal Investigation Mode.

I sent her a message:

“Hello Sister. I'm not calling about the money. I just wanted to tell you that two girls were fighting over your husband in town today. It was a serious fight. Your husband was just standing there watching until one of the girls escaped into his car… and they drove away together.

My brothers and sisters…

I dropped my phone.

And waited.

A few minutes later…

RIIIIIIIIING!

She called.

I looked at the phone.

Smiled.

And ignored it.

She called again.

Ignored.

Again.

Ignored.

Again.

Ignored.

By the time I checked my phone…

21 MISSED CALLS!

Then her messages started arriving like emergency alerts from the United Nations:

“WHERE WAS THE FIGHT?

“WHO WERE THE GIRLS?”

“WHERE DID THEY GO?”

“DID YOU RECOGNIZE THEM?”

“PLEASE TELL ME! I'M FALLING APART!”

Me?

I read everything.

Turned my phone upside down.

And continued breathing peacefully.

Then another message entered:

“I HAVE YOUR MONEY. PLEASE CAN WE MEET SO YOU CAN TELL ME EVERYTHING?”

MY PEOPLE!!!

Suddenly…

THE MONEY THAT HAD BEEN MISSING FOR THREE MONTHS HAD BEEN FOUND!

I immediately replied:

“Okay. Send it through M-Gurush first so I can pass by the filling station and refuel. Then I will pick you up and take you directly to one of the girls' houses…”

I added:

“…because I know them personally.”

My brothers and sisters…

TWO MINUTES!

I checked my account.

COMPLETE PAYMENT RECEIVED!

Not installment.

Not “manage this one first.”

Not “I will send the balance tomorrow.”

EVERYTHING!

FULLY PAID!

I looked at my phone.

Looked at my account balance.

Then remembered that peace is important for good health.

So I switched off my phone…

Covered myself with my blanket…

And slept like a newborn baby who had just received inheritance.

The next morning, I woke up feeling financially blessed and spiritually unavailable.

MORAL LESSON:

If somebody owes you money and refuses to answer your calls…

Don't threaten them.
Don't insult them.
Don't shout.

Just find the right motivation.

Sometimes, love can locate money faster than employment.

But please don't try this at home. I am a trained financial criminal investigator.

✍🏾 Mariano
Ghetto President ✊🏾

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