NUS Stage

🚨 NATIONAL PHENOMENON: Local woman, 20, reportedly maintains personal friendships with an implausibly large percentage of the population. Statisticians have declared the probability “mathematically inconvenient.”

📍 SINGAPORE, 1984 — Authorities attempting to trace the source of an unusually lively atmosphere across NUS Stage found themselves repeatedly arriving at the same conclusion: Gabby had been there first.

Witnesses report that Gabby has an extraordinary tendency to turn passing conversations into bonding moments, newcomers into old friends, and ambitious ideas into reality. Despite operating with what can only be described as controlled chaos, she has somehow managed to convince those around her that everything is, in fact, under control.

The woman in question has since been appointed President of NUS Stage, where she can be expected to rally the community, lead with conviction, and turn even the most chaotic ideas into something worth getting excited about. 🎭

🔎 LAST SEEN: Surrounded by approximately seventeen Stagies despite having set out to “grab water for two minutes.”When asked to account for the ensuing chaos, Gabby simply shook her head and remarked, “That’s really untoward.” The crowd has yet to disperse.

🤎 JUST IN: NUS STAGE EXCO INTRODUCTION
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SINGAPORE, 1977

JUST IN: NUS STAGE EXCO INTRODUCTIONS 🤎

SINGAPORE, 1977

Suspected cat-whisperer, 23, spotted going about their day with suspicious levels of composure. Experts remain divided on whether this is an innate trait or the result of years of calculated coolness.

📍 SINGAPORE, 1971 — Sarah has developed a reputation for being effortlessly cool whilst simultaneously caring deeply about the people and passions around them. Theatre is reportedly one of them, with the individual frequently found throwing themselves wholeheartedly into both the craft and the community that comes with it. 🎭

Their latest development sees them stepping into the role of Vice President of NUS Stage, where they can be expected to keep the EXCO on track, serve as a steadfast pillar of support, and bring their sharp creative eye and distinctive vision to the CCA — ensuring that Stage continues to grow both on and off the stage.

Friends and fellow witnesses describe Sarah as passionate, fun, and inspiring. However, one fact remains particularly well-documented: should a cat enter the vicinity, all other priorities appear to become temporarily irrelevant. 🐈 Passersby have reportedly witnessed Sarah conversing with cats exclusively through a series of increasingly convincing “meows”. The authenticity of these exchanges remains under investigation.

📰 INTERNAL NOTICE: Local photographer, 22, keeps a straight face whilst subduing 43 malevolent actors; diverts national threat before crafting artistic, emotive reflection on the experience.

📍SINGAPORE, 1979 - A crowd of mystified onlookers watched as a masked individual singlehandedly and calmly subdued 43 armed attackers. Upon diverting the unprecedented threat to Singapore’s safety, she proceeded to craft an artistic photographical reflection on her experience; her thoughts on community purportedly moved multiple audience members to tears.

The woman in question, Abi, has since been appointed Secretary of NUS Stage, where she can be expected to coordinate planning, take minutes, and keep the CCA’s cogs moving - by hook or by crook. ✒️

Sources describe her as caring, intellectual, and highly responsible for every task she takes on. On occasion, when spoken to, she would give a non-verbal stare across the room.

🍁 SINGAPORE, 1980 - Seven familiar faces have been spotted around the island, coming together with one thing in common: a love for theatre and a place to call their own at NUS Stage. 🎭

Meet our 2026/2027 EXCO ❣️

💥 TRANSPORT UPDATES: Resident BBT enjoyer, 23, does a flip in the air and insists she’s not a proficient dancer

📍SINGAPORE, 1976 - Authorities were alerted after a mysterious figure was spotted performing an impressive aerial backflip before promptly denying any claims of dance proficiency.

The suspect in question, Kai Xuan, has since been appointed Logistics Head of NUS Stage, where she can be expected to keep everything (and everyone) moving in the right direction. 📦

Sources describe her as dependable, capable, and suspiciously good at making things happen behind the scenes. When questioned, she says, “I might die, but I won’t die that much”

🔎 LAST SEEN: Somewhere in CML, effortlessly executing incredible physical warmups to conquer her next superhuman endeavour.

BUSINESS TODAY: Singaporean man, 22, launches complex algorithm 2 minutes before diving to an indiscernible underwater location.

📍SINGAPORE, 1976 - An international search has begun for an individual who has disappeared into the depths of the ocean. He made his underwater escape shortly after launching a high-impact algorithm, able to calculate the financial impact of every niche pop culture reference on its local country’s GDP.

The man in question, Ryan, has since been appointed Treasurer of NUS Stage, where he can be expected to simultaneously coordinate Stage’s fiscal ledgers, maintain the CCA’s fabulous vibes, and fill in his Japanese worksheets. 💴

Sources describe him as unflappable, humorous, and devoted to showing up to Stage sessions even during the busiest times.

🔎 LAST SEEN: Somewhere along the Straits of Malacca, merely free-diving and mouthing the words, “PLEASE GIVE ME AN INTERNSHIP”.

📣 AROUND TOWN: 21-year-old woman cracks a dad joke; 2.3 Million Singaporeans found in stitches between Tampines and Kent Ridge.

📍SINGAPORE, 1973 - An individual was overheard making an aptly hilarious remark, but disappeared using Silat steps before taking accountability for unwitting audience members’ abdominal cramps due to their intense laughter.

The woman in question, Alisha, has since been appointed Publicity Head of NUS Stage, where she can be expected to keep everyone captively engaged regarding the vibrant comings-and-goings of the CCA. 📸

Sources describe her as committed, creative, and dedicated to putting up her best possible work at every turn.

🔎 LAST SEEN: Somewhere on Canva, toggling with her 56th aesthetically pleasing element. Upon being questioned regarding the peculiar circumstances, she merely remarked with, “Well, that’s awkward.”

⭐YOUTH AND COMMUNITY: Local 20-year-old writes 3 plays, acts in 2 more, works 2 jobs, and mysteriously still makes time to care for those around her.

📍SINGAPORE, 1977 - A woman was accused of teleportation, omnipresence or a third, more incomprehensible superpower. These reports came after she had been observed thriving indefatigably at her innumerable wonderful endeavours in life.

The woman in question, Hannah, has since been appointed Welfare Head of NUS Stage, where she can be expected to bring her radiant smile to making everyone feel comfortable and cared for during every Stage CCA session - or for anything else in between. 🫂

Sources describe her as passionate, introspective, and a kind soul who consistently believes in upholding others.

🔎 LAST SEEN: Somewhere in CML, asking various Stagies how their week has gone. When stopped for questioning, she simply shrugged and identified herself as a “part time student, full time sidequester.”