The Academy of Love

You asked how to do it differently.

Here it is. 🧡

Before you open a difficult conversation, check where you are speaking from.

Are you regulated or activated?

Because the same words, spoken from two different internal states, land completely differently.

From activation, from fear, from accumulated resentment, even the truest words sound like an attack.

From groundedness, from genuine presence, even hard truths can be received.

So before you speak, pause.

Breathe. Slowly. Deeply. Until you feel your body settle.

To be very clear, this is not about suppressing what you feel. It is about choosing the moment when what you feel can actually be heard.

Then, when you speak, lead with your experience, instead of saying what they did or what is wrong with them.

Say what is true inside you.

For example:

“I feel unseen when...” instead of “you never...”

“I need more of...” instead of “you always...”

One way opens a door to honest and vulnerable communication. The other one closes it.

Then listen. Really listen. Resist the urge to try to prepare your response, while other person is sharing their truth. Resist the urge to defend yourself. Try your best to be simply present and listen full to actually receive what the other person is trying to say.

Sacred communication is a genuine reaching toward another human being.

Your truth, spoken from love, from presence, from a body that is settled and a heart that is open, does not threaten.

It connects.

It becomes the bridge between your inner truth and the relationship you are creating with another human being.

And this way of communication is available to you in every single conversation. You just have to learn it and to practice enough so that it becomes a natural way of speaking.

Want to go deeper on this?

This is exactly the work we do inside The Academy of Love.

Next live session is on 22 July. It could be your first step. Details in the comments -> 9 Love Archetypes Masterclass

With love and care,
Yana

Something shifts for women in their 40s.

They often wake up in the middle of a good marriage and realise they no longer recognise themselves in it.

While others are single and suddenly find that their standards have risen so high that dating feels almost impossible.

And some are quietly wondering whether what they feel is clarity, or just exhaustion and frustration.

Are women in their 40s getting harder to please?

Or are they finally becoming truer to themselves?

I was recently invited onto The Forties Formula Podcast podcast to explore exactly this. We talked about what happens to love and relationships after 40.

Why so many women reach this decade and feel a shift they can't quite name.

Where it leaves you if you're married and the passion has faded.

And where it leaves you if you're single and navigating dating as a successful, self-aware woman who finally knows what she wants.

These are not easy questions. But they are important ones.

And I think if you are in your 40s, or approaching them, this conversation will give you something real to hold onto.

Thank you Amanda Lim and Jasmin Dhillon for enabling such an important conversation.

Dropping the link to the full episode below.

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮 𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂.
You built the career. You have the influence. Your bank account is impressive.

Yet 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱𝘴 show up as the one place where your skills and expertise doesn’t seem to work.

I work with high-achieving women every week. Lawyers. Founders. Directors. Women who negotiate seven-figure deals before lunch and then go home wondering why their current relationship (that they invested so much time and energy into) still feels off. Or why the right man still hasn’t shown up. Or why, even in a good marriage, something quietly went missing along the way.

Here's what I see, again and again.

The same drive that built the career becomes control in the relationship. The same independence that made her successful becomes distance with her partner. The same standards that got her promoted become a checklist no man (realistically 😳) can pass.

Success is very loud. Loneliness in love stays often very quiet though. Women don’t talk about it. Because it is painful, frustrating, and for some (especially in Asia), even embarrassing.

So, when I say - I see you. I mean it. I have seen it with many other successful women too.

That’s why I created 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘈𝘤𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦, where high-achieving women learn how to master soul-aligned relationships.

And the most logical first step?

𝘛𝘩𝘦 9 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘈𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘵𝘺𝘱𝘦𝘴𝘛𝘔 𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴.
90-minute of your time, where you will finally identify what has been influencing your love life all these years, why you are still single or in not very happy marriage, and, most importantly, how to change this situation.

The masterclass is tomorrow. Dropping the link 🔗 below. Grab your seat!

A marriage can be functional, loving, and good on paper, and still feel emotionally hollow.

And emotional hollowness is where affairs begin.

When desire disappears from a marriage and is left unaddressed, not talked about, not worked on, just silently endured, something starts to happen beneath the surface.

He feels rejected. Even if he never says so.
She feels guilty. Even if she never says so.

And in that silence, they each retreat a little further into their own separate worlds.

The marriage stays intact on the outside. But inside, two people who once chose each other start to feel like strangers sharing logistics.

This is not where anyone imagined they would end up.

And yet it happens. Quietly. Gradually. In good marriages, to good people, who simply didn't know how to talk about it.

The women I see who navigate this well are not the ones with the highest libido. They are the ones who name what is happening. Who don't let desire become the silent thing sitting between them and their partner for years.

Because a problem named is already halfway solved.

If this is landing somewhere real for you, this is exactly the conversation we hold inside the Academy of Love. You don't have to keep carrying it alone.

Learn more → love.yanafry.com

If your wife pulls away from intimacy at night, this is what's actually happening.

After a full day of being physically needed, climbed on, called for, touched, held, depended on, many mothers arrive at bedtime completely spent. Every part of them has already been given away.

There's a term for this: touched out.

It's not a clinical diagnosis. It's a real, documented experience where physical contact of any kind, even loving contact from a husband, starts to feel like one more demand on a body and mind that has nothing left.

She's not rejecting you.
She's trying to survive the day.

From the outside, it looks like distance.
From the inside, it's the first quiet moment she's had since morning.

This is one of the most painful and least talked about dynamics in marriages with young children. Because it doesn't look like a problem. It looks like a normal Tuesday night.

But underneath it, two people are slowly disconnecting without either one understanding why.

If this is your household, you're not alone. And it doesn't have to stay this way.

My 9 Love Archetypes™ Masterclass is a place to start understanding the deeper patterns at play in your relationship.

Grab your seat here → love.yanafry.com/opt-in

You cannot desire someone you are parenting.

There’s a study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior that found something most women already feel but can’t quite name.

When you carry the invisible load, the appointments, the schedules, the thousand things that “just happen,” something shifts in how you see your partner.

He stops feeling like a lover.
He starts feeling like someone else to manage.

And you cannot desire someone you are managing.

That’s just a fact (and a real life experience of many women I have been working with)

This isn’t blame. It’s not about keeping score.
It’s about understanding a dynamic that quietly erodes attraction, often before either of you even notices it’s gone.

If this landed, watch the full Reel. And if you’re ready to understand your own love patterns at a deeper level, my 9 Love Archetypes™ Masterclass is the place to start.

Link in bio -> love.yanafry.com/opt-in