Divorcing With Sanity

The breakdown of your marriage is not just a momental mistake. It's an accumulation of years of you not loving yourself. When we 'marry the wrong person', we are marrying uncomfortable spaces you grew up and are familiar with, toxic role models you look up to, and the habit of saying no to yourself and yes to others.

So, you didn't marry the wrong person - you married exactly who you thought you deserved.

It’s just like that student in your class - the one who's distracted, sloppy with homework, and provokes others. You know he’s not naughty or bad. You see past all that and recognise the accumulation of neglect, anger, and emotional abuse happening at home.

Feeling good about ourselves gives us the strength to deal with the stress of the divorce. It’s also going to stop us from losing it at work - and I know keeping your job as an expat during this difficult time is all the more important.

If you want to keep your life from falling apart - DM me and let’s talk?

Oooh that big question we all have. How do we let go of the past? How do we forget that toxic a**h****? Every corner you turn, every song that plays in the shopping mall, even a cup of coffee... reminds you of him. You hate that, and you are ashamed of it. In this episode of Divorcing With Sanity podcast, Yan explores what you are really holding onto, why you remain stuck, and what will help you change that (and no, it's not yoga or pilates). If you have just been through a toxic divorce and are struggling to move on, this is an episode you cannot miss.

Listen to full episode here: https://www.rfr.bz/f5a309ed1

Every decision you have made as a wife, a mother and a teacher started with somebody else in mind.

Which school is best for her learning needs?
Which apartment is nearer to his office?
Which class will I take on because nobody else wants to?

In the first place, you probably moved thousands of miles across continents to Singapore because he got a job here.

Serving others is a joy when we are at the prime of our lives. But as we move into our 40’s, our decisions must evolve. With your marriage breaking down and the volatility of the job market, placing ourselves first is all the more important because when everything else falls away, we are all we have left.

Start asking yourself this instead before you make a decision: 𝗗𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆?

Save this post, try it for a month, and come back to share what has changed in your life.

Twenty years of marriage, and then one message pop-up changed everything. My client had been a teacher, a wife, a mother for twenty years, and when she found out about the affair, she said the hardest part was not the betrayal, but that terrifying emptiness of not knowing who she was without him.

She came to me wanting to learn how to forgive, to stop that resentment and anger from arising every time she thought of him. That’s when she learnt that when you no longer depend on others to define your life, forgiveness comes easily.

She now takes care of herself daily, and she describes her life as full of joy and sunshine.

DM me if you would like to have that too.

My name is Yan, and I'm a life coach who works with divorcing expat educators to help them keep their sanity, jobs and residency, so they can move forward without losing everything.

I've been through divorce as well, and I used to be a drama educator. Upon the breakdown of my marriage, I proceeded to lose everything (including my job), because I just didn’t know how to put myself together again, and I didn’t know where I might be headed in life.

Later on I also had the opportunity to come in contact with several expat educators whose lives were falling apart because of divorce, and the added complexities of their situation as foreigners.

If this sounds like what you’re going through, I would love to help. Drop me a DM and we'll explore what works for you.