Nurturing Leadership

As Muslims we are advised that when it comes to dunya, we should look at those below us so as to be grateful & when it comes to the akkhirra, we should look at those above us so as to strive harder.

I am 57.
I am grateful for my age .
I am changing my mindset.
I would like to share with you my changes.

I am changing.
I have loved everyone as best as I could; my parents, my siblings, my spouse, my children, my friends, now I am learning to really love myself.

I am changing.
I am realizing that the world does not rest on my shoulders so now I feel a little lighter.

I am changing.
I am not going to talk down the local vegetables & fruits vendors. Paying a little more is not going to burn a hole in my pocket inshaAllah, but it might help them pay an extra bill or ease a financial stress.

I am changing.
I will pay the taxi driver without waiting for the small change. The extra money might bring a smile on his face. As he maybe struggling much harder than me

I am changing.
I am listening to the stories with patience of my Alzheimer mother-in-law without irritation although she has narrated them many times.
I realize that these stories are of the times when she was happy and they make her happy, which makes me happy.

I am changing.
I am not going to correct people about insignificant things even when I know they are wrong. I realize that nobody is perfect and my correction does not bring ease.
Peace is more precious than perfection.

I am changing.
I will give more compliments & smiles freely & generously. These are charities that don't cost nothing but has great rewards in the hereafter.

I am changing.
I will walk away from people & things that have no benefit.
I want to ensure that the people and things in my life will weigh positively on my scale in the hereafter.

I am changing.
I will be patient when teste because Allah is with those who are patient and patience when tested brings you closer to Allah.

I am changing.
I am learning not to be embarrassed by my emotions. I now know it's my emotions that make me human and an individual.

I am changing.
I have learnt that its better to drop the ego than to break a relationship. Relationships are important and being humble is loved by Allah.

I am changing.
I've learnt to live each day as if it's the last and live in this world like a stranger. As this world is temporary & the hereafter is the goal

I am changing.
I am doing more of what makes me happy. After all, I am responsible for my happiness, and I owe it to myself.

Know that Alkah doesn't change a condition of a people until they change what is in themselves...
Let's connect. I can help.

RECTIFY YOUR LIFE
Advice from Fudail ibn Iyaad

Fudail ibn lyaad, may Allah have mercy upon him, encountered a man, so he asked him the following questions:

Fudail ibn Iyaad: “How old are you?”

The man: “Sixty years old.”

Fudail ibn lyaad: “Thus you—for the past sixty years have been upon a journey towards the meeting with your Lord and you have almost reached your destination.’

The man: “Verily from Allah we come and to Him we shall return.”

Fudail ¡bn lyaad: “Do you know the meaning of this statement?”

The man: “Yes. I know that I am a slave of Allah and ¡ am returning to Him.”

Fudail ibn Iyaad: “Oh my brother; whoever knows that he is a slave of Allah and that he is going to rernrn to Him: then let him also know that he is going to stand in front of Him. And whoever knows that he is going to stand in front of Him then let him also know that he is going to be questioned. And whoever knows that he is going to he questioned then let him prepared answers for the questions.”

The man: “What is the solution?”

Fudail ibn Iyaad: “It’s simple.”

The man: “What is it?”

Fudail ibn Iyaad: “Rectify what remains (of your life) and you will be forgiven for what has already passed by; but if you misuse what remains (of your life) then you will be taken to account for that which has passed by and that which remains.”

Translated by Rasheed Barbee

(Note: This is not a translation of Shaykh Raslaan’s speech, rather it is a translation of the narration that he is speaking about.)

RECTIFY YOUR LIFE NOW...YOU MAY NOT REACH 60 YEARS OLD

Now is the time to make the changes to your life that will save you and your family from the hellfire. Now is the time to nurture leadership, parent leadership, lead in your marriage & heal yourself...I can get you there.

TIME
It’s summertime!!!
We have lots and lots of time on our hands.
What can we do?

The Prophet (pbuh) said:
“Take benefit of five before five:
your youth before your old age,
your health before your sickness,
your wealth before your poverty,
your free-time before your preoccupation,
and your life before your death.”

YOUTH BEFORE OLD AGE
We take our youth for granted not realizing how quickly time is passing. We are not getting any younger and neither are our children. When we are young we are full of energy, and we should use that energy to parent leadership, repair our marriages and pay it forward to our communities.

HEALTH BEFORE SICKNESS
What we often don’t realize is that our health is a blessing from Allah. When we are in good health, we take it for granted and don’t always appreciate what we have. Health is a mindset as well as a state of being. We must empower ourselves to heal physically, mentally and emotionally, so that we can nurture our family.

WEALTH BEFORE POVERTY
Wealth is another blessing granted to us by Allah. Wealth does not necessarily mean that we have large amounts of savings and excess of materialistic things. Wealth is as simple as a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs and food in our fridges. Spending our wealth in the best way is to spend on ourselves and family first and then others. Investing money on what we need to help us to be the best we can be, to learn how to parent leadership and give the guidance that will benefit us in the hereafter. The best charity is what we spend on our family.

“The likeness of those who spend their money for Allah’s sake, is as the likeness of a grain (of corn), it grows seven ears, every single ear has a hundred grains, and Allah multiplies (increases the reward) for whom He wills, and Allah is All-Sufficient for His creatures needs, All Knower”.
(Al-Baqarah: 261)

FREE TIME BEFORE PREOCCUPATION
“By the time indeed mankind is surely in loss”(Al-Asr:1-2)
We should utilize the time we have available to do as much good as we can, because before we know it, this time will have passed. We cannot afford to wait. We don’t have tomorrow. We have to take immediate steps every day to save ourselves and our family from the hellfire whose fuel is man and stone. Heal you, parent leadership, connect and reconnect and pay it forward…NOW

LIFE BEFORE DEATH
Every night when we go to sleep, we enter a state where our soul leaves us. When we wake up, it is only because Allah has blessed us by returning our souls and granting us the opportunity to worship Him for at least one more day. We are given another chance to guide our children and family upon righteousness.

“The Messenger of Allah (SAWs) said there is no servant that Allah puts over anyone else or as a guardian over them and he has not conveyed naseeha except that he will not smell the fragrance of Paradise.”
We will all be questioned about our Amana over our children and family. This is our life…take care before death.

STOP WASTING PRECIOUS TIME

Start making purposeful decisions that can change the way you and your children show up as Muslims in the home, community and with their friends.

Where do you start?
How do you start?

Contact me and get a free 30-minute assessment call.

Parenting Leadership can be very difficult if you are having issues in your marriage.

If you need to heal from some deep resentment that you are holding onto because of old situations in your marriage.

If you and your husband are not communicating to each other.

If you and your husband are not on the same page as what you want out of the marriage.

If you are not happy and are not being the most productive mother and wife.

If you have a dream of what you want your marriage to look like and you don’t know how to get there.

Well, it seems that many of you have one, some or many of these issues and it is make it very difficult for you to parent leadership on a consistent basis.

You are the core of your family, if you are not right, nothing is going to be right.

Many of you are sitting around waiting for something to change, but it won’t until you do something to change…Remember Allah doesn’t change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves.

You say you can’t afford coaching but can you afford not to?

Will your marriage be able to survive you waiting?

Will your children stop growing and needing guidance while you decide?

Do you want to have a tranquil household?

You can heal yourself, save your marriage and parent leadership if you just take that step to get the coaching that you will need to help you move forward…

Contact me and let’s start working on you, your marriage or your parenting leadership

When my children were little and I was a young mom and also new to Islam, I didn’t really know how to go about teaching them their Deen or raising them to be leaders while embracing their Islamic identity.

I did know that as a mother, I had to model the behavior that I want them to emulate. One way I did this was to dress my children like I dressed myself. I was a seamstress so I would make matching outfits for my daughter and I and the same for my husband and son on most occasions. I taught them to love being identified as a Muslim by making sure my daughter had matching a creative kimars to go with her clothes and my son had several kufis to match his clothes as both of them would see my husband and I do the same.

Whatever, I learned about the Deen as a new Muslim, I would teach it to them. When I was learning a surah, I would have them learn it with me. At some point, they would have memorized it before I did.

Ramadan was a month for connecting. We would learn and do so many interesting things together concerning the Deen, their talents, their curiosities etc. I made sure that my children knew about Ramadan and why it was important to the Muslims. I did not want them to just look at Ramadan as a month of not eating so they can get gifts in the end.

It was hard work and I’m not going to say it was always pleasant or I was always on target. What was on target was my intentions.

“Actions are but by intentions and every man shall have what they intend.”

What I was doing is learning the Quran and teaching it to my children.

The Prophet (SAWS) said, “the best of you is he who learns the Quran and teaches it.”

I was teaching them whatever I learned of the religion.

Abu Haraira (RAA) said Allah’s Messenger (SAWS) said, Whoever, invites the people to guidance shall receive the reward of those who follow that guidance

However, the Messenger of Allah (SAWs) said there is no servant that Allah puts over anyone else or as a guardian over them and he has not conveyed naseeha except that he will not smell the fragrance of Paradise.

I was doing the best I could with what I had when I could do it, but I was doing something.
Eventually, Allah connected me with other Muslims parents and we learn and taught our children the best of what we were as a community.
Now as a grandma, I take every opportunity to parent leadership with my adult kids and my grandchildren.

Today, it is much easier although it seems difficult. The difficulty is the distraction and the procrastination. The ease is you have many resources and people like me who can give you tools and structure for your daily success inshaAllah.

Ramadan is the best month to connect and reconnect. We are half way through…Let’s not waste any more time.

Take this opportunity to contact me and let’s put you on a track of tawfiq in Parenting Leadership.

One of the Names of Allaah (سبحانه و تعالى) is البَرّ al-Barr:

The One Who is Most Subtle, Kind,Courteous and Generous; the One Who is ample in goodness and beneficence; Who gives manifold increase of reward to the righteous, and Who overlooks many of the faults of the wrong-doers with gracious forgiveness; whoever brings a good deed, Allah al-Barr, rewards him ten times the like thereof to his credit, and whoever brings an evil deed He decrees for him only the recompense of the like thereof, and they will not be wronged.

If somebody intends to do a good deed and he does not do it, then Allaah, al-Barr, will write for him a full good deed in his account with Him; and if he intends to do a bad deed and he does not do it, then Allaah will write a full good deed in his account with Him. He loves piety towards Him, goodness, justice, righteousness, honesty, truthfulness, benevolent regard or conduct to parents and others, as well as every incumbent duty.

Allah writes us down as doing a good deed even when we only intend to do that deed and don’t do it. He is so merciful to His creation.

So, we are now in the 7th day of Ramadan and we had all the good intentions to do purposeful act to connect and reconnect with our children. However, with fasting, praying, reading Quran, cooking and doing our other duties along with making sure our children are doing what they should be doing, we may not have been able to complete anything.

No worries, you got that good deed written for you, but now you need to try to do something tangible that will impact your children.

HOW ABOUT:
Give everybody a hug and tell them you love them for the sake of Allah every day.
Openly recognizing the strides that your children are making to keep up with their fast and other extra deeds.
Planning a day to go out and do a good deed for someone.
Learning a dua together
AND DON’T FORGET YOUR DUA FOR YOUR CHILDREN!!!

What are some parenting leadership struggles that you are having this Ramadan?

What are some successes you want to see happen with your children or between you and your children this month?

Let’s put them in the right perspective and try to impact our children doing the special month.

RAMADAN MUBARAK!!!

PARENTING LEADERSHIP DURING RAMADAN

There are 4 week of Mercy, 29/30 days of worship, 720 hours of spirituality, 43,200 minutes of forgiveness, 2,592,000 seconds of coming closer to your Lord...

Use this time to make lots of dua for your children.
Use this time to make better connections with them upon worship, tarbiyyah, guidance and mercy.
Use this time to read Quran together, learn a new dua together, pray together, forgive each other, engage with your children and establish a trust and bond that can flourish.

Commit to being consistent in taking time to purposefully create a peaceful environment upon the remembrance of Allah during Ramadan.

InshaAllah during this month I will be bringing you tips every Tuesday on different ways you can connect and reconnect with your children during the month of Ramadan. I will also be answering any question or give information and suggestions on any issue you may have or need clarity on in Parenting Leadership. If you don't want to post your questions on the group, FB message me and I will reply by addressing the whole group so everyone can benefit.

I NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU...BEGIN PARENTING LEADERSHIP NOW!

As Salaamu Alaikum Akhwat,
I need to begin some interaction with you. Please give me the salaams so I know the comments are being accepted.

Jazkhallah Khair

What is Parenting Leadership? Click on the link to find out.

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MAKE DUA FOR YOUR CHILDREN...MAke DUA FOR YOURSELF

Beautiful advise from the Shaykh Al ‘Allaamah 'Abdul 'Azeez Ibn Baaz (rahimullah):

It was said to the shaykh,

“Oh shaykh, so and so has become misguided”. The Shaykh replied:

“Perhaps his deviation was due to two things:
1. He didn’t ask Allâh for Ath-thabaat (firmness).
2. He didn’t thank Allâh for Al-Istiqaamah (steadfastness)

So when Allâh chose for you the path of guidance, it was not because you are special, nor was it because of your obedience. But rather, it was a mercy from Him that enveloped you. He can remove it from you at any time.

Therefore, do not be deceived by your actions nor by your worship. And do not look down upon the one who has deviated from His path. For had it not been due to His mercy, you would have been in his position.

Repeat the recitation of this verse while pondering:

﴿ ولوﻵ أن ثبتناك لقد كدت تركن إليهم شيئا قليلا ﴾

"Had We not made you firm (Oh Muhammed صلى الله عيه وسلم) then you would have inclined towards them slightly.”

So upon is to not to think that thabaat (firmness) upon Al-Istiqaamah (steadfastness) is due to your own personal achievements. Ponder over His statement (Ta'aalaa) to the best of mankind: “Had We not made you firm (Oh Muhammad صلى الله عيه وسلم).”

So how about you?!

We are greatly mistaken when we disregard and pay no attention to our athkaar (supplications of remembrance). We believe it to be something that is not important and we forget that Allâh preserves us with it. And perhaps the decree will change…

Ibnul-Qayyim says:
“The need of the servant in his supplications by which he seeks refuge [in Allah], is more severe than his need for food, drink and clothes!”

Be consistent in your athkaar (supplications of remembrance), so that you can encompass the meaning:
“Preserve Allâh, He will preserve you.”

Fortify [yourselves] every morning and evening [with your athkaar (supplications of remembrance)]. For the dunya (life of this world) is horrifying and full of surprises and Allâh is the protector of His servants.

Shaykh Abdul ‘Aziz bin Baaz

Majmoo al Fatawa (297\4)

UNDERSTANDING OUR MUSLIM CHILDREN
It is important that we understand the problems we are having with our children and what we can do to solve them. Having concrete solutions will affect their personality and practice of their religion.

What are the problems facing our Muslim Children?

- Do they want to physically identify with the Muslims?
- Do they want to hang around non-Muslims and
choose them as friends?
- Do they want to listen to music, watch inappropriate
things on their devices or just spend hours on their
phones and social media?
- Do they not want to practice their religion with
consistency?
- Do they envy the lifestyle of the non-believers and
want to be like them?

Ramadan is coming and it is prime time to begin to connect and reconnect with your children. In Ramadan you can make specific and simple goals to address with connecting to your children, each one separately and all of them together. This would be the best time to start nurturing that connection and parent leadership. It takes

- Investment
- Consistency
- Commitment
- and Time

What unique problems are you having with your children?
What can you do?We have 18 days before Ramadan and I can help you beginning to make that connection.

Time is passing...What do you have to lose?
YOUR CHILDREN TO THE DUNYA!

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