09/08/2023
A brighter tomorrow
by
Zeeshan Khalid
Easy Coaching
They say that when a writer spills out their heart on the canvas of a writing pad with conviction, the inscribed words may be powerful enough to move mountains and make the sky shudder. I'm sure that the historians penning the events of the Karbala, or the two gory world wars, or the incident at Hiroshima and Nagasaki, or the independence of the subcontinent from the British would have had the same petrifying ability, lest we would never have known of those affairs in the grim visage of their truthfulness. For that matter; the army veterans, the politicians, the rock stars, the movie actors, the directors, the composers, the playback singers, or the athletes, among other influential personalities of the world, who scribe their self-travails or, in effect, if their biography gets scribed by another bankable writer, it mostly always presents a tragic account of personal demolition and occasionally personal conquest, while at other times these self-memoirs depict the horrific tale of graphic highs and lows, tragedies, victories, and defeat experienced by those exceptional people and expose their vulnerable commonality as humans.
The memoir you are reading presently is one such tale. Without being direct about the identity of the central protagonist, I reassure you that this story has emotion, heartbreak, wreckage, the thud of when one hits rock bottom, and then painful revival - which, by the way, would never have been possible had it not been for a few rock-stellar people in this individual's life. It all begins when a young rebellious teen found unprecedented freedom in some place miles away from the shackles of parental supervision, the freedom to choose as he pleased; he could choose where he spent his time, what he did with it, not to mention the unintentional financial empowerment to be extravagant with his money. Having lived a sheltered life all his teens, and dangerously unfamiliar with the facts of harsh consequence of reckless decision-making, this kid was over the moon with his newly found freedom so much so that he eventually lost entire control over his impulse.
He was like a volatile slinky that is unable to stay in one place, and wiggles like jelly by design; and so did our hero. He discovered unquestioned liberty and was introduced to a culture which he had not known before, which completely altered his perception about the life he had known until then. He started to imagine himself as some kind of demi-god from Greek mythology, an invincible rock star, or dare I say, the prince of some imaginary mystical land. Excessive merry-making, overindulgence in forbidden activities, and complete oblivion to his primary responsibilities like academics, ultimately led to frivolous self-glorification which went straight to our hero's head; ridden by substance abuse and a despicable addiction to frequent gambling made him crash head-on into a dead-end, a deep ditch of gloom and despair, not to mention the physical toll such ribaldry took on his psycho-neurological health.
Imagine a cold, murky, and dark pit in the stomach of brazen earth where one could gag, break out in a cold sweat, feel vulnerable, fearful, paranoid, scared and anxious all at once, cloaked with a terrifying absentia of moral purpose, and a looming lack of direction for the future. In other words, a complete loss of control over the present and a sinister ambiguity about what despair the future may bring; a cul de sac leading to an eerie ledge with a high fall that could almost certainly result in possible death. That is exactly where "Mr. I have conflicting issues in my head which I shall opt to resolve with self-annihilation" found himself, when his heavenly father - a saint in human guise, came to his rescue.
A few caring friends, some positive influencers, and the kind grace of good ole time, slowly but surely helped nurture this shameful egotist back into a semblance of sanity. But, by the time he came around too much damage had been done already. He had fallen severely behind on his budget, lost the respect of his closest friends, invariably caused immense heartache to his parents, and had become a subject of mass ridicule. Having had no choice left but to return to the watchful eye of his parents, year by year he worked himself back into the world of the civil once again, constantly receiving relentless support and encouragement from the one person who thoroughly cared about him the most - his dad.
He worked nights on end, he worked three jobs - with one of those jobs even requiring him to drive 28 miles a day in a car without air-conditioning in the peak of harsh and extreme summer conditions. He repented, he lamented, he cursed himself, but he thanked his lucky stars to have pulled back up out of a hellhole called misery, scathed only with emotional scars. In my part of the world, a life sentence is normally fourteen years long. Our hero has been paying his dues trying to make up for his travesties for the last twenty-one years. It's no surprise, because like the saying goes, "As you sow". Over time though, a few good things did happen with the poor fella for example, he got married to a lovely woman who he had three awesome kids with whom he loves more than his own life.
With her constant inspiration he was able to regain his lost belief in himself, rediscover the true value of life, and finally unravel what life's mysteries are all about. But, alas there is a tragic twist to the tale, his beloved father - his savior, the man he held closest to his heart was taken away from him by an ill-fated strike of nature. And now he roams hither on the curb of time sorely missing the great man, recalling all the things our hero did wrong, and imagining how the outcome of his life might have been different had he been wiser when it was time to be.
At this juncture, a song comes to mind, "I wish I knew what I know now when I was younger". They say that time and tide wait for no man, and I couldn't agree more. Even as a pale shadow crouches alongside the epitaph of an old man's grave, two quivering hands bleakly visible from a distance rise heavenwards to pray for his solace. A son full of gratitude pays homage to his hero - the real protagonist, even as dusk befalls just before the mighty sun sets in the western horizon, paving the way for a soothing night to hide the light of day and a brighter tomorrow is eagerly awaited.
-This is copyright of Chip of the Desert
