19/11/2020
As products of Pakistani society, we remain deeply embedded within its cultural trappings. We are controlled, we are told we are wrong; we are reminded of our mistakes; we are supposed to accept them, make amends, genuflect, demand that we will prove ourselves otherwise and most of this often happens when we are kids. With no real power to fight back, we assume authority to be good, to be righteous, to be correct—and those voices which are often our most critical, end up making room inside the chambers of our mind - polluting our thoughts, making us second guess ourselves, being punitive.
Often the people behind those voices no longer remain a part of our lives, but their essence exists in our behaviors and habits, specially where we knock ourselves down. This kind of self-hatred and reproach is a learned behavior, but it stays with us for so long it becomes instinctual.
When we choose to not unshackle, and let those voices operate unquestioned, we lose ourselves and those voices become our thoughts which lead to actions and consistent actions which lead to it being a part of our identity.
Unshackling is identifying our most negative thoughts and asking ourselves, do they truly come from within? Or did we pick on something that was said to us by someone else about our potential, about our dreams, about our identity?
More often than not, they result from what story someone else tried to tell us about who we were. By just questioning our thoughts and the worst ideas we have about ourselves – we rid ourselves to be controlled by someone else’s story.
This is not as easy as it sounds, specially for people with mental illnesses and those who can’t stop spiraling into their thoughts. But by being aware of our thoughts and by sifting through them, we are better able to identify our thought patterns and have a fighting chance against our worst ideas about ourselves. We exist beyond these ideas. We are an amalgam of hopes, interests, learning, relationships, love, joy, food, experiences. Yet we compulsively choose the negativity and deny ourselves our own friendship. We desire others to be good to us, but we become terrible to ourselves. We feel helpless against our own minds and let it control us. This is where we fail to recognize what we are capable of. This is the only failure we must contend with. We must not let those voices succeed. We must first treat ourselves how we wish to be seen, thought and understood–and pursue that. That is our voice. That is unshackling.