25/07/2020
A father should kiss his daughter’s forehead when he sees her...especially after greeting her back from school, uni, work... or when he comes back home from work...
This is a forgotten sunnah...
So yup... you get hasanat for it too!
Whenever Fatima (ra) would visit the prophet (s); he would get up from his spot, grab her by the hand and kiss her forehead... then make her sit in his very spot!
Peace and blessings upon the best of mankind 💚
We emphasis good treatment of parents (rightfully so); but good treatment to children is also a must... showing love, respect and affection to them needs to be emphasised as much, as it was the prophetic approach... calling them names, using sarcasm to teach them something, belittling them, bullying or physically abusing them is NOT allowed in Islam and it’s NOT tarbiyah...
Growing up; many girls I knew at school and uni who went out with boys/ spoke secretly to boys (behind their parents’ backs), where girls that lacked the love, connection and affection at home *especially from their dad*... almost all of them... a father’s love and affection to his daughter cannot be replaced and is actually necessary to her emotional and mental wellbeing and development...
Girls in particular desire their father’s approval, affection and attention (more than their mother’s)... when a girl is given that kind of love from her father; it’s less likely that she will be deceived by a boy when he tells her some nice words about her looks or personality... as that “love cup” will be full for her... her self esteem would be healthy...as she receives the acknowledgement she needs (through loving words, physical touch like hugs and kisses) from the most important man in her life; her father...
Mums... your love and affection is important ofcourse...but one of your biggest roles also is to *constantly remind your husband* that he needs to do this... as this display of love and affection doesn’t come naturally to most men (even the kind and loving ones as culturally it’s not something most grew up witnessing their elders do)... so remind him to compliment your daughter on her manners, on her good achievements, on how pretty the new dress she’s wearing is, to hold and kiss her hand, hug her and overall connect with her... this is one of the ways we raise strong, confident women that know their worth...
I once had a client who was married to a physically abusive husband... and we spoke in the session about love and what it means - and she was convinced that her husband loves her (although he phyically harms her all the time) and when I asked her why she believes this she said, “because my father used to hit me when I was young and he still loves me!” 💔💔 this is one of the stories I will never forget and it really effected me a lot in truly understanding the power of what we do for and to our children for the rest of their lives subhanallah...
As a mother, father or caregiver... the way you treat your children *is the standard you’re setting for them to except from others’ treatment, for life!*
Treat them how you would like others to treat them...
And a shout out of ultimate respect here to single mums, who are raising sons and daughters on their own as their fathers decided not to father (so scary to choose to do! And Allah will hold them accountable!) but just want to remind you that you’re a super hero and your love will always be enough for your kids... they know this and you know this 💚
via Life Matters Academy
