The JSF Speech & Personality Development Centre

Enhorabuena, querida Tania!👏🌷👏❤️💛💙

Hello, amazing JSF friends, advocates, and everyone in between! 🌟

We’re excited to introduce our brand-new JSF "Honesty Virtual Box"! 🎉 Got burning questions about Life Coaching, communication tips, or anything in between? This is your chance to ask away!

Drop your questions in the comments below, and we promise to answer everything as truthfully as possible—yes, in ALL HONESTY! 🤝

It’s going to be fun, insightful, and totally real. So, who will be the first brave soul to throw a question our way? 💥 Bring it on, guys! Let’s make this Q&A as awesome as you are. 🙌

Thanks, and we can’t wait to hear from you! 💬😊

Etiquette Today: Chivalry Today
Different feelings around chivalry lead us to suggest you should always ask first. Get the details today!Chivalry Today
Many people think of chivalry as a set of manners for how gentlemen treat ladies. And traditionally, they have been. At its heart, chivalry is about recognizing a power difference and placing the responsibility of demonstrating respect and consideration on the person who holds more or the most power in a given situation.

At its conception, chivalry was an effort to treat people, especially women, better and with more respect and care. In general, we are best served by a set of social standards that are not dependent on or determined by someone’s gender or even that recognize power differences. What’s interesting is that because of the power and gender dynamics at play in chivalry, not everyone found these acts thoughtful and courteous.

With not everyone appreciating acts of chivalry or where they came from, applying an idea like chivalry presents a challenge. There are good reasons to perform chivalrous acts, but not everyone sees them that way. Let's take a look at how chivalry can function today when gender divides aren’t so clear, and power isn’t as big of a player.

Traditional vs. Modern Chivalry
As etiquette evolves and adapts to fit the standards and sentiments of the day, here are some old courtesies and their modern versions. If these courtesies were not on your radar, take note, as some traditionalists appreciate them greatly.

Old Chivalry: Offer your seat to a lady.

New Chivalry: Offer your seat to someone who could use it more than you.

Old Chivalry: Stand when a lady approaches or leaves the table.

New Chivalry: Stand when anyone joins or leaves your table in more formal situations.

Old Chivalry: The man pays the bill.

New Chivalry: If you would like to pay, invite others clearly so you assume the role of host.

Old Chivalry: Gentlemen hold coats for ladies.

New Chivalry: Anyone may offer to hold a coat.

Old Chivalry: A man orders for a lady.

New Chivalry: The host orders for the table after having consulted everyone first.

Old Chivalry: The man walks on the street side of the sidewalk.

New Chivalry: Walk where it feels natural and secure and lend an arm to anyone who is unstable.

The JSF Speech & Personality Development Center

Old Chivalry: The man goes first into elevators and through heavy revolving doors

New Chivalry: Whoever gets to a door first may proceed. Assist others with heavy doors when needed.

The Best Way to Apply Chivalry & Gendered Courtesies Today

If traditional chivalry and gendered courtesies matter greatly to you, or you sense they matter greatly to someone you are interacting with, offering to perform the courtesy is the way to go. “May I hold your chair for you?” instead of “I’ll get that for you.” or just performing the gesture. This allows the other person to retain the agency. “Why thank you so much, yes.” or “That’s okay, I’ve got it. Thank you, though.”