11/04/2025
AND FOR THE FIRST TIME, I DIDN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO LOOK BACK.
Kamusta na ako? Hindi ko rin alam. Pero heto—hindi na ikaw ang tinatakbuhan ng puso ko. At sa wakas, hindi na ikaw ang hinihintay kong bumalik. Hindi na ikaw.
For so long, I carried the weight of “what ifs” like they were part of my identity. What if you stayed? What if I said more? Or less? What if timing had been kinder to us?
But now, the “what ifs” don’t echo as loud as they do anymore. They’re still there, yes—but more like distant background noise, not the haunting melody they used to be. Hindi na ako minumulto ng mga ala-alang mahirap ipagkait at bitawan.
May mga gabi pa ring bumabalik ang mga alaala. Mga tawanan. Mga pangakong binitiwan sa ilalim ng gabi. Yung mga simpleng sulyap na kala mo walang ibig sabihin, pero sa puso ko—sapat na para umasa.
Akala ko noon, kapag nawala ka, mawawala rin ako. Pero mali ako.
I lost you, yes. But I found parts of myself that I didn’t even know I lost along the way—yung ako na marunong tumawa nang walang hinahanap na kapalit, yung ako na hindi nag-a-adjust para lang sa “baka sakali.”
Ang tagal bago ko natanggap na hindi lahat ng minamahal ay mananatili. Pero hindi ibig sabihin nun ay wala nang halaga ang lahat ng pinagsamahan. Some people come into our lives to teach us something—about love, about pain, about strength. Ikaw, tinuruan mo akong piliin ang sarili ko, sa wakas.
And for the first time in forever, I walked past your memory without feeling the urge to turn around. Walang pait, walang luha, walang sakit, walang galit. Just gratitude—because even though you broke my heart, you led me back to myself.
And maybe, just maybe, this is what freedom looks like—not having to delete your name, not pretending you didn’t matter, but rather choosing not to stay in the same chapter forever.
At marahil doon ko nasabi nang buo't totoo:
“Graduate na ‘ko. Graduate na rin ako…sayo."
Ad Meliora, PAP!
✍️:🦖
Photo Credits to Savannah via Pinterest.