30/09/2026
๐๐ก๐ฒ ๐๐ฌ ๐๐๐ซ๐ซ๐ฒ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ญ ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ข๐๐ซ ๐๐ก๐๐ง ๐๐ฌ๐ค๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ ๐๐๐ง๐?
When you are carrying something heavyโsay, a box full of clothesโyou would probably ask someone to lend you a hand. It is easier when the weight is something you can see, something you can point to and say, โThis is heavy. Can you help me?โ
But what happens when the weight is inside you? When it is made up of countless thoughts you never said out loud, feelings you kept to yourself, and worries you have been carrying for far too long? When no one can see what is weighing you down? Suddenly, asking for a hand does not feel so easy anymore. Somehow, carrying it all alone feels easier than finding the words to say, โI need help.โ
This Su***de Prevention Month, we are constantly reminded to ask for help in any way possible. It sounds so easy. It sounds like something that could solve everything that is going on inside our heads. But teaching someone to ask for help also means understanding how difficult it can be to say those words in the first place.
There is a contradiction in the fact that society tells us to ask for help, while at the same time, society can also become one of the reasons why we choose not to. In the study of Radez et al. (2021), social factors such as stigma and embarrassment were identified as some of the primary barriers that make it difficult for young people to reach out for professional help. Even with the growing openness surrounding mental health discussions, stigma can still exist in ways we may not immediately notice.
It can be found at the dinner table, when someone finally says that they are not doing well mentally, only to be met with laughter, dismissal, or words like, โDrama lang โyan.โ It can also be found in the media we consumeโin movies, shows, or even short TikTok videos where mental health struggles are turned into a joke. When these things happen repeatedly, we may begin to internalize them. We learn that our struggles are something to laugh about, something to minimize, or something we should simply keep to ourselves (Gupta, 2026). And eventually, asking for help no longer feels as easy as society makes it sound.
Yet sometimes, the barrier is something we carry within ourselves. Even when the world tells us to ask for help and assures us that it is okay to do so, there are moments when our own thoughts are the ones stopping us.
Gulliver et al. (2010) found that one reason young people hesitate to seek help is the belief that they should be able to handle their problems on their own, along with the belief that professional help or therapy may not actually work. Sometimes, it sounds like, โMaybe if I just sleep, Iโll feel better when I wake up,โ or โMaybe I just need to get through the day.โ We convince ourselves that we can wait it out, even when what we are carrying deserves to be heard.
And then there is trust. Opening up to someone means allowing yourself to be vulnerable, and that can be difficult when your past experiences have taught you to keep things to yourself. If you have been dismissed, laughed at, or told to stay quiet before, it can make reaching out feel unsafe. You may start to believe that staying silent is easier than risking being unheard again.
But when you are living in the Philippines, the conversation does not only revolve around what is happening within you or what other people might say. It also means considering the cost of asking for helpโand the time it takes to seek it when you are already trying to get through the day.
According to Embalsado (2024), mental healthcare can be a financial burden for many Filipinos. Private professional mental health services in the Philippines can cost around PHP 1,000 to PHP 4,500 per session. This becomes even more significant when compared with the national minimum wage, which ranges from PHP 718 to PHP 755 per day, according to the National Wages and Productivity Commission. When a single consultation can take up a substantial portion of a day's earnings, seeking professional help can feel like a difficult financial decision.
More affordable outpatient services may cost around PHP 100 to PHP 600 per consultation, but affordability does not always mean accessibility. Securing an appointment or consultation in these institutions can also be difficult because of limited availability and other barriers. For someone already struggling to make it through the day, finding the time, money, and opportunity to seek help can become another challenge on top of what they are already carrying.
And for all these reasons, you might just want to pause and keep it all to yourself. When asking for help comes with so many things to considerโthe fear of being judged, the stigma, the cost, the time, and even the fear of not being understoodโmaybe reaching out does not feel like the easiest choice after all. And this is exactly why we need to talk about these barriers. Because we cannot simply tell people to ask for help without understanding what makes it so difficult for them to do so. We have to acknowledge what stands in the way before we can expect someone to take that first step.
But despite all of these barriers, asking for help still matters. Maybe even more than we realize. It may sound clichรฉ, but no one is an island. We need other people, and social support is recognized as an important protective factor for mental health (Bauer et al., 2021). Sometimes, asking for help does not mean that everything will suddenly become okay. It simply means that you no longer have to face everything by yourself.
I know that, after everything we have talked about, asking for help may still not feel easy. You may still be afraid of being judged, rejected, or becoming a burden to someone else. But perhaps the fear of being a burden is sometimes greater than the reality. Zhao et al. (2022) found that people often underestimate how willing others are to help and how positively they may feel when given the opportunity to help. In other words, the hand we are afraid to ask for may already be willing to reach out.
And maybe knowing this can make that first step feel a little less frightening. You do not have to have all the right words or explain everything you have been carrying. You can start with a message, a note, or even a small gesture that lets someone know you need support. Asking for help does not have to look the same for everyone. What matters is finding a way to reach out that feels possible.
But for that reach to mean something, there also needs to be somewhere to reach. In the Philippines, we need to continue pushing for mental healthcare that is accessible, affordable, and available to those who need it. We cannot keep telling people to ask for help while leaving them to face another set of barriers once they finally decide to do so. Making help easier to reach is also part of making it easier to ask for.
And this is why the conversation cannot end with September. Su***de Prevention Month gives us a reason to talk about these things, but the barriers do not disappear when the month does. The fear, stigma, cost, lack of access, and uncertainty about being understood can remain. So our willingness to listen, to ask, and to make support more accessible has to remain too.
And you know it again: whether it is a box of clothes or a box filled with feelings you cannot put into words, there is always a hand you can reach for.
Because even when you cannot explain the weight, you do not have to carry the box alone.
References:
Bauer, A., Stevens, M., Purtscheller, D., Knapp, M., Fonagy, P., Evans-Lacko, S., & Paul, J. (2021). Mobilising social support to improve mental health for children and adolescents: A systematic review using principles of realist synthesis. PLOS ONE, 16(5), e0251750. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0251750
De Witte, M. (2022). Asking for help is hard, but people want to help more than we realize, Stanford Scholar says. In StanfordReport. https://news.stanford.edu/stories/2022/09/asking-help-hard-people-want-help-realize
Embalsado, J. V. M. (2024). Adverse impact of socioeconomic status and economic issues on mental health in the Philippines. International Journal of Preventive Medicine, 15, 36. https://doi.org/10.4103/ijpvm.ijpvm_351_23
Gulliver, A., Griffiths, K. M., & Christensen, H. (2010). Perceived barriers and facilitators to mental health help-seeking in young people: a systematic review. BMC Psychiatry, 10(1), 113. https://doi.org/10.1186/1471-244x-10-113
Gupta, K. (2026, July 8). Why is it so hard to ask for help with your mental health? Ridgewood Clinics, P.A. https://www.webpsychmd.com/ask-for-help-with-your-mental-health/
National Wages and Productivity Commission โ The official website of the NWPC. (n.d.). https://nwpc.dole.gov.ph/
Radez, J., Reardon, T., Creswell, C., Lawrence, P. J., Evdoka-Burton, G., & Waite, P. (2021). Why do children and adolescents (not) seek and access professional help for their mental health problems? A systematic review of quantitative and qualitative studies. European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 30(2), 183โ211. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00787-019-01469-4
Illustration by Chelsea San Buenaventura
