11/09/2014
“It’ll be okay; it’s for the best.” “Time heals all wounds.” “Keep your chin up–just keep moving forward.” “Forgive and forget.” If you’ve ever gone through a rough time in your life, you’ve no doubt heard some of those statements before. Well-meaning, well intentioned people can give really good advice, but when you aren’t available to hear it–when you are in the midst of life’s latest challenge–how can you really process the message? You’ve got so many conflicting emotions going on–strong emotions–each vying for time and attention in your mind. Maybe you’re scared, angry, embarrassed, vengeful, jealous, or depressed. Hearing advice at that point doesn’t seem to mute the feelings as much as add to them.
18 Ways You Can Move Through the Pain Instead of Staying Stuck in It
1. Recognize that you aren’t alone. If you are feeling that way, reach out to someone who has been there, done that or find a competent therapist to talk to.
2. Connect with others for positive support. Choose people who lift you up, not bring you down.
3. Volunteer your time. Sometimes it’s helpful if you can “get out of yourself and your own problems” and help those who are less fortunate than you–because there is always someone less fortunate than you.
4. Take a walk in nature. Nature is very calming, soothing, and beautiful. Notice the beauty around you; be mindful and present while walking.
5. Listen to guided hypnosis downloads. I’ve created one about dissolving the cord with your ex. You may want to listen to one on creating inner peace, positive affirmations, happiness, or any others you feel might benefit you. Listen to it for at least 21 days and you’ll notice a difference in your life.
6. Start a gratitude practice. This habit forces you to focus on the positive. What’s going right in your life? Why are you blessed?
7. Find things to laugh about–listen to funny comedians, watch a funny movie, read a good joke book.
8. Cry. Sometimes we need a good cry to clear our systems out.
9. Create a new story for yourself. Be the hero/heroine of your story–not the victim. You are NOT a victim. You are a powerful and loved human being–don’t forget that.
10. Do things that make your life meaningful. What gives you tremendous pleasure? What things do you do that make you lose track of time?
11. Try EMDR, Reiki, or another alternative medical treatment for processing your emotions.
12. Practice self-care. Be diligent in this.
13. Exercise. Stress from challenging situations takes its toll on your emotional and physical health. Exercise is one way of dealing with it.
14. Breathe. Become aware of your breathing and breathe deeply for at least three good deep breaths.
15. Ask yourself : What can you learn from this situation? What is it there to teach you?
16. Inspire yourself. Become a role model for others, a beacon of light for those who might someday go through what you’ve gone through.
17. Seek out balance in your life–whatever that may be. Grieve for a little bit, and also invite the joy in. Work and play.
18. Allow your mind to dwell on the situation at hand for a certain amount of time (say 7 to 7:30), then let go. Whenever your mind drifts back, remind yourself that you’ll have that time later.
