19/08/2026
There is so much to unpack about all the school violence, attacks & shootings that have begun in our country. So many topics that can stem from this.
1) How do we talk to our children about what’s going on?
2) Gun access
3) Children unable to healthily deal with their anger
4) Raising entitled kids who think they can do what they want
5) Keeping our children safe online and out in the world.
6) Parents who are not emotionally present, keep boundaries, and don’t let their children experience difficulty, failure, and consequences.
7) Parenting during this phone-based childhood where our children are constantly online but gravely disconnected to the world
What has been happening stems from years of how a child is raised and what they’re exposed to with so many factors involved that it is impossible to pinpoint just one reason and find someone to blame. It’s literally a child experiencing people failing them over and over and over again that the result is literally death.
And so with the recent news and how overwhelming this is to absorb for young children and how complex a situation it is, we highlighted only two things while we slowly talk to them about everything else.
For our children:
1) Be kind. Be kind to the classmate who failed a test, who has no one to hang out with at lunch, who got her period in class and has a stain on her clothes. Be kind to the one who acts a little bit aloof, who struggles to connect, who is either loud and angry or quiet and broody in class. Be kind to the one who was bullied by others- do not add but equally do not ignore. Speak up or call for help.
This kindness may save your child one day. If that child does decide to wreak havoc in school, the child might remember how your kindness helped him/her just a little bit and spare you from whatever violence s/he feels like inflicting upon others.
This kindness may save that other child one day. When s/he thinks that he has no friends, no one to turn to, and no safe space in school, acts of kindness towards him will literally be life changing and help them get through whatever difficulties they’re going through.
2) Remember: ANGER ENDS. It is a passing emotion. You can feel it. You can cry. You can kick and scream. But you cannot hurt because when the anger goes away, the hurt and damage may not. So we sit and stew and deal with our anger. We find healthy ways to cope. We ask for help, go for walks, talk it out, scream into a pillow. When the anger dissolves and the head is clear, then we can find solutions to our problems and figure everything out safely (and sanely)
For the children who resorted to violence and decided this was their only choice, it took a hundred steps, cracks, and failures for them to reach that point. So goes the same for us now raising our children in this complex world. It will be a hundred intentional steps, difficult parenting choices, and conversations to ensure we raise them well and also keep them safe.
