Teacher Beia

Crying is part of the process.

If we remember that, our children’s crying won’t trigger us so much. It won’t make us feel like they are weak or even that we are failing as parents.

You see, I hurt my back. Again.
A couple of years ago, I had chronic back pain until it reached a point that I needed surgery. That surgery was life changing for me. I was up and about literally the next day. Pain free.

I never took that pain free life for granted.
Every single day I was literally grateful.
I played with my children.
I went to multiple gyms and workouts.
I tried new things.
I was less nasty, less cranky, and- I’d like to believe- more pleasant to be around.

I went all out with the intentional movement and joined all the gyms and classes I could simply because I could. No pain holding me back. I could focus on building strength as should be for an almost 40 year old.

But last week, without knowing how or why, I hurt my back again.
I cried.
I wallowed.
I felt defeated.

Back to square one, I thought.
Back to the time when the whole day revolved around what I could or couldn’t do.
Back to always being angry and impatient and deflated.

My children saw me upset- BUT I also made sure they saw me take charge.
Back to the doctor and therapists.
Back to simple stretches.
Back to slowly rebuilding the strength.
Back to doing what little I could- no matter how small.

Crying is simply the release. The initial reaction. The frustration. The grief. The feeling of defeat that needs to be let go.

But it isn’t the end. What’s important and what always will be is what comes after: what actions you take and what solutions you find. How you take control of what you can.

So the next time our children cry, remember that it’s part of the process. It isn’t the only step. We give ourselves time to cry then we pick ourselves back up and begin again.

Crying doesn’t mean weakness.
It is just the beginning of finding your strength.

Let your children cry through difficult things so that they can see what they are capable of overcoming.

What is a good way to gauge one’s mental health?

Listen to their self-talk.

Self talk is the constant dialogue, thoughts, and beliefs of a person. For children, especially, these thoughts are audible- like how children talk to themselves. You hear it when they’re role-playing, faced with a challenging task, doing something new, or trying to remember instructions given to them.

Self-talk can sound like “This is too hard. I can’t do this. I can’t figure it out” or it can sound like “oh wait. That’s not the way. I have to turn it this way. I’ve do this before”

A Self-talk’s tone can help one with their success in tasks, emotional regulation, manage their stress, and boost their confidence. It also helps with memory and problem solving.

As children grow up, the self-talk becomes less audible, more thought than whispered words. So we don’t hear it as often but you can see it in their actions and in their perseverance and determination.

But these words have to come from somewhere. They are not innate beliefs.
They were given to them.
The words we speak to children are the words they carry.
What they hear from us is what they tell themselves when faced with difficulty.
What we tell them is what they believe they are capable of.
What positivity we transfer helps them get through tough days when they have to figure things out on their own.

So while self-talk is present in children as young as 3, self-talk is something that was consistently fed and nourished by all those around them. We let our children know our confidence in them so that they can believe in themselves. We feed them with these words to nourish their souls with a healthy belief system.

You can do it.
Don’t give up!
Keep going.
You can figure it out.
Find another way.
I know you can. I believe in you.

And then when things get tough and you’re not present, when faced with a challenge, when they find themselves in silence, they repeat those same words to themselves.

I can do it.
I won’t give up!
I’m not going to stop.
I can figure it out.
I will find another way.
I know I can.
I believe in myself. 💛

BPI SCAM ALERT ‼️

Tonight, I received a text from BPI saying I used my card and to click a link to cancel the unauthorized charge. It’s a new card which I have never used so I was worried that it was hacked already. Buti na lang kakadinner ko lang nung nabasa ko ung text so my brain was working. Instead of clicking the link, I called BPI instead.

The agent explained that scammers can insert their texts in the original BPI thread message to make it look like legitimate BPI instructions!?! How!?! What kind of an inside job, zero cyber-security system is going on!?

Anyway, the website was reported and the agent reminded me that BPI never sends links- even if it does come out in the legit BPI thread. Maybe they should just change their BPI thread because it isn’t very trustworthy, safe, or useful!?

Showing the BPI thread of “legitimate” messages with an inserted scam message. Isn’t it that one scam message in the “official” BPI thread automatically makes the whole thread…ummm unofficial? Illegitimate? Scam-my?

There’s a worldwide crisis.
A war.
Our country is a mere bystander yet greatly affected.
We get it.

But what can our government do for us?
Our senators can go to work.
Our government offices can stay open and run efficiently.
Our permit-giving departments can take out the red tape and extra charges.
Our tax collecting department can ease up on the SOPs and inflated assessments.
Our traffic enforcers can direct traffic instead of wait for opportunities to ask for “merienda”.
When building a road, how about don’t take more than you need for once?
Literally so many things can be done.

Life continues for government workers. Their source of income will never end.

But for us who need society to be healthy and thriving so that we can thrive,
for us who cannot survive another lockdown, for us who rely on the business of others and what they can spare and spend,
for us whose future is uncertain,
we NEED the government to ease our already heavy burdens.

So every tax break is another month to breathe a little easier.
Every permit released is another day saved.
Every penalty, additional tax, or assessment increase is another month’s salary for a company’s employees.

There are many things out of our hands at this time.

But a country’s empathy & sympathy for their people?
That is definitely something that can be given.

Mahirap na, wag na kami pahirapan pa.
Pagod na, wag na dagdagan pa.
Sa Bayanihan, di lang taong bayan nakikipagtulungan.
Kasama din dapat kayo.

Luna: Maya, let’s go with mama to her school program. Let’s help the teachers with the special children. It’s a fun job!

🥺

When children are raised in an inclusive environment, the benefits are immeasurable.
The notion is often that inclusivity benefits only those who need extra support. As if they are feeding off of the skills of their typically developing classmates. As if the typically developing children are learning less, getting the short end of the stick, or even their development being held back. As if the group becomes parasitic in nature.

But when you see inclusivity in action, you see the mutualism with your own eyes; without judgment or doubts. Personally I can say, my children would have lost so much opportunity to learn if they were always in homogenous settings.

The children have learned how to explain to peers who need more thorough explanations but said in simpler words. The cognitive ability to do that is complex. It takes practice, a lot of thought, and an enriched language and vocabulary.

The being able to create games, rules, and processes for the whole class to follow is another example of how complex the thinking involved is needed; along with out of the box creativity and the desire to make sure all are included.

The empathy, patience, understanding for each and every individual in the classroom is constant. And they carry these with them wherever they go. They have translated this empathy multiple times in various settings.

We do not choose who we teach but we can choose WHAT we teach. We also choose to see people how they are. We don’t see children as with disabilities or without. We just see them as children. Nothing less.

I can tell you with certainty that a label doesn’t diminish a person. It helps us teachers support and understand the child better for sure but it doesn’t determine the abilities and contributions of the child in class. I can also tell you that a child without a label does not mean a child is without difficulties. Limiting a class to children without labels is not assurance that the teacher will have an easier time or that no issues will arise. Many behavioral issues that arise are from those determined to be typically developing children.

My children being in an inclusive school is important for me because life can’t be curated. It’s messy and chaotic and full of surprises. It often doesn’t go how you planned. It requires them to deal with those who aren’t like them in every sense of the word and to let them know that often, they have to learn how to adapt and be flexible. Life would be boring if we didn’t have a little bit of color, a lot of mess, and rainy days. And we can always teach, that when all of the chaos is going on, you can always choose to be the sunshine.

We have significantly slowed down our days recently. I’m trying to find positives in the ever increasing prices of absolutely everything.

More down time has given us more conversation time. The children have asked more about my childhood. They have shown interest in both my work and their Dada’s work, wanting to know how things work and what each of our jobs entail. They have shared more than usual random snippets about classmates, about their ideas, and about things they still want to do.

I am with them daily but I have gotten to know them even more. There has been more time to tell me about things they have done when I wasn’t around. Such as using all their snack money to buy a bff a birthday gift or how a classmate was hitting another and how they stepped in to stop it.

In return, I have been able to share more of my thoughts and dreams with them- for myself, for our family, for the school. I have also been able to thoroughly answer each and every question, because when your days are less busy, your mind is less cluttered, then you are more regulated, more patient, and more understanding.

One day, when things go back to normal and I’m not on crisis-mode constantly thinking about the future, our lives will probably go back to as it was- being busy again and doing all the things we like to do.

But for now, I hope my children will remember these days as I will. That while the world was going crazy outside, we were safe and at peace in our home. ☮️

Earth Hour 🌏💚