16/01/2022
Problems and stress are an unavoidable fact of modern life. We encounter it every day, seemingly all the time. They could have many sources, from caring for our children or parents to maintaining a positive balance in the bank to holding down a job. To add to this, there will always be unexpected events – deaths, disasters, illnesses – which can happen without warning. With all of these potential sources of stress, it’s no small wonder many people go through life under a great deal of pressure, frustrated by the many pressures consuming all of us every day. Over a period of time, these stressors, from the trivial to the severe, add up to result in total exhaustion – before you’ve even begun your day.
There are ways in which you can learn to deal with your stress when it is present and to recover more quickly when it has passed. This collection of skills, habits, philosophies, and characteristics is what we call “resilience.” These skills make it possible to stay flexible and calm in the face of distress. By learning to become emotionally resilient, you can drastically improve your health, your overall mood, and most importantly, protect yourself against the negative effects of stress.
Resilience can help us get through and overcome hardship. But resilience is not something we’re born with—it’s built over time as the experiences we have interact with our unique, individual genetic makeup. That’s why we all respond to stress and adversity—like that from the COVID-19 pandemic—differently.
So, what can we do to build up and strengthen resilience right now during the COVID-19 outbreak? And how can we build resilience to plan ahead for future times of crisis?
The science of child development points to three ways we can affect experiences and the balance of the resilience scale:
1. Unload the Negative Side
We can lighten the load on the negative side of the resilience scale by reducing sources of stress for families and program staff. Many organizations are already doing this and can draw on their experience to prepare for possible future periods of physical distancing and shutdown. Reducing sources of stress may include:
🎈Helping families meet basic needs like food, shelter, diapers, health care, child care, and internet access or connecting them with programs that can help.
🎈Creating and providing children’s activity kits that include things like coloring books, crayons and markers, word searches, puzzles, books, craft supplies, etc. to give parents and caregivers a break, even for a few minutes at a time.
🎈Encouraging parents, program staff, and co-workers to practice self-care—even if it’s just taking a few minutes to themselves, going for a walk, or getting plenty of rest. Make sure staff are aware of and taking advantage of employee benefits such as employee assistance programs, mental health counseling, and paid time off.
2. Load Up the Positive Side
🎈Maintain and encourage connections with family and friends. Even though we’re all required to maintain physical distance, it’s important to call, video chat, email, or write letters to the people we care about to engage in responsive interactions, protect our emotional well-being, and manage the stress of living through this challenging time. (And, please access outside help and resources if you or someone else needs it.)
🎈Children’s development doesn’t pause during a crisis—and supporting that development and building resilience doesn’t have to take a lot of extra time or effort. Back-and-forth “serve and return” interactions are simple and free, and you can do them during ordinary moments throughout the day. If your baby makes a coo or gurgle during a diaper change, make a sound back. If your toddler points to something, point at it too and say what the object is. Playing with a child is a great way to engage in serve and return—and relieve some stress for all!
3. Move the Fulcrum
All of us need executive function and self-regulation skills to manage daily life, but stress makes it more difficult to use the skills we have. During the COVID-19 pandemic, we need these core skills for things like planning less frequent trips to the grocery store or market, filling out forms for relief funds or loans, navigating support programs, and for managing work, home, and caring for children. Adults can strengthen these skills with small but helpful supports, like:
🎈Sending or signing up for text reminders of important appointments
🎈Using tools such as grocery list apps, menu planners, and daily schedules (and posting them for the whole family to see)
During a crisis like the COVID-19 outbreak, families need their immediate, basic needs met before they can focus on anything else. But, when the crisis is over, longer-term programs that support adults and children in building and practicing their core skills will again be necessary and effective.
REFERENCES:
💡osalind Dorlen, PsyD, Member: Allied Professional Staff, Department of Psychiatry Overlook Medical Center, Summit, NJ; Senior Faculty, Center for Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis of New Jersey and Field Supervisor at the Graduate School of Applied and Professional Psychology, Rutgers University.
💡Salvatore R. Maddi, PhD, The Hardiness Institute, Inc., University of California at Irvine, Newport Beach, Calif.
💡Karen W. Saakvitne, PhD, Traumatic Stress Institute/Center for Adult & Adolescent Psychotherapy, South Windsor, Conn.
💡Richard Glenn Tedeschi, PhD, Department of Psychology, University of North Carolina at Charlotte
