Mental Skills Institute

This is the first of 5 questions I use in coaching to uncover fixed mindset triggers, and I also asked them in a conversation with my 9yo son.
I wasn’t trying to teach him anything. I was trying to understand how he thinks.

I wasn’t testing knowledge. I was testing a belief.

And in my experience, the most powerful belief a child (or adult) can develop isn’t confidence.

It’s this.

Because the answer tells you a lot about how someone responds to challenge.

DM me “QUESTIONS” if you’d like a copy of the full 5-question framework.

Coach education spends a lot of time teaching coaches how to develop athletes. Not enough time teaching them how to develop people.

A coach has two core responsibilities:

1. Develop better performance.
2. Develop better humans.

Question: Who was the most influential coach you ever had?
And why?

Was it their technical knowledge , or was it something else?

Most coach education focuses on X's and O's.

But the best coaches? They develop people, not just players.

Organizations and clubs know this is true.
Yet we ignore it.
Why?

Drop your thoughts below 👇

Quick question…Which feedback works better?
1: ‘Don’t do that.’
2: ‘I liked that, do more of it.’

Do you want their attention on something negative… or something positive?
Do you want them thinking about what went wrong, or what to do next?

How do you deal with a kid who is crying? It's common to tell them to toughen up.
Here's a different way to think about it.

Most youth coaching education still focuses heavily on technique, tactics, and drills.

But in reality, the biggest impact on young players often comes from things that rarely get taught—how coaches communicate, build relationships, and create environments that shape confidence and behaviour.

This is something I wish I’d understood when I first started coaching back in 2003.

We break coach education in youth sport down into 5 simple areas:

H – Higher Purpose
E – Environment
A – Attitude
R – Relationships
T – Training & Games

It’s a practical way of thinking about coaching beyond just session design.

We are all flawed sometimes but words are never just words.

They reveal where someone's mind really is.
They create emotion, and with it, physiological change.
They shape who you are, and broadcast what you stand for.

That's why coaches and leaders need to do two things well:

Listen deeply, not just to what's said, but to the patterns beneath.
Speak deliberately, because every word you use sets a standard.

We all miss the mark sometimes.

But leaders and coaches define the bar for everyone else.

Let's talk about human nature. Why do we need to know this?

We are capable of brilliance. But we are also primal.

We are rational. And also totally irrational.

For centuries, the greatest thinkers have used metaphors to describe what we all feel in those high-stakes moments. Plato had his Chariot. Freud had his iceberg. Jonathan Haidt gave us the Rider and the Elephant. Daniel Kahneman - system 1 and 2, Dr Ceri Evans - red and blue head etc.

They all point to the same truth about human behaviour and performance.

We are sometimes in command. And sometimes, we are just along for the ride.

This message lives in the boardroom. The locker room. The classroom. The Press room. The toy room. And yes—the war room.

Wherever the stakes get real, human nature shows up.

Why do we need to know this?

DM me for the full video. 👇

As coaches, we listen closely to words - because words reveal beliefs.
In this short video excerpt, we touch on how old societal beliefs shape a key mindset.

That’s what this video is about: understanding where the fixed mindset comes from, and challenging it.