27/05/2020
TAPENA SOU ŌSO MO LAU MALAGA 2020
The key events of gift giving in the FA'ASAMOA:
A*o Lona Tolu (Day 3): FA’AMĀLAMALAMAGA (making a man’s intentions known to the woman’s family)
In the modern age of dating, men and women don’t have to go through the hassle of a whole community involved in marrying off a MANAIA to a TAUPOU.
However, in our grandparents (depending on how old you are) and ancestors’ times, a young man rarely, in the first instance paid his addresses directly to the woman of his choice. Presents of food was taken to her by his family members and friends. This was a proposal to the parents of the girl. Usually, the girl has to agree if her parents are in favour of the proposal.
All parties consenting, wedding preparations commenced. This would take months as both parties start collecting various kinds of property.
The bride’s family would have to raise IETOGA and SIĀPO (fine mats and tapa). This is the dowry for the groom’s family.
Similarly, the groom and his family would be collecting ‘OLOA or goods such as food and livestock.
If the bride and groom were people of rank, the wedding would take place in a MALAE (an open front yard of a meeting house - usually of a high chief).
Now it is not all that straightforward. Sometimes, a proposal could be rejected. If that happens, the young man’s family would return home, work on their tactics, take some other people and off they go again. If that doesn’t work, they would come back and take more people who are of higher rank. Each time, gifts or food must be taken!
Samoans would not go anywhere without a gift or present for those they’re visiting. Not only it is the right thing to do, but it also shows that you are well-versed in the nuances of the Samoan traditions. Usually, the recipients would say, don’t bring anything next time, i.e. SE AUA LE KOE AUMAIA SE MEA. As they say, ON A OE UCE. Just keep calm and carry on! It is better to prepare because when we go to places near or far, speak and express ourselves, we represent our parents, families and communities.
During this VAIASO O LE GAGANA SAMOA, we hope that we are mindful of all the different ŌSO for our travels. It could be a service or act of kindness that will really make someone else’s day. As one proverb we are familiar with goes, O LE TAMA A TAGATA E FAFAGA I ‘UPU MA TALA (A child is fed with counsel and wisdom unlike birds’ offspring that feed on flowers).
Song Credit: Here is a PESE AUALOFA. Usually sung by a man to his future wife as a glimpse of how sweet and romantic the future is like with him. One of our all time favourites by the absolutely incredible PENINA O TIAFAU
Video Credit (our very own Filipino drama) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFsl8RGM-eE
