Belief School

Do you ever wonder who you really are? It's so easy to get lost and confused, caught between who we think we are, who we want to be and what others say we are. I think I've nailed it though; what do you think? XXP

The Person Who Shows Up - Belief School Who are you?

What is the hardest thing you have ever done or had to do? Have you been able to reach past the emotion of it and unwrap the gift? I write about it here in Good Magazine. XP

Doing hard things The hardest things you will ever do will be the greatest gifts you’ll ever receive.

Lots of “experts” talk about the need for us to set good boundaries. I’ve always struggled with this as it seems to come from a place of weakness or fear. We set boundaries—or fences, or walls—to keep people out and supposedly, to keep ourselves emotionally safe.

These same boundaries also lock us in and they are usually set on a foundation of righteousness, encouraging blame and diminishing our ability to create intimacy.

How about, instead, we get really clear and comfortable with who we are. We put that boundary-setting-energy into understanding and accepting ourselves; into knowing our values and beliefs and being really comfortable with who we choose to be. Then we don’t need to set boundaries so we can feel safe. We only ever need to control others or distance ourselves from their messiness when we are shaky ourselves.

The most extraordinary act of support and love is to stand next to someone as they mess up—over and over—and then get up and try again. To hold within ourselves our uncomfortableness; to love them broken or whole and to forever hold a vision of all they can be. XP

The image and headline make this post look depressing; it's not - it's very useful. XP

Worry Yourself Sick - Or Not - Belief School I recently said to my son, “better to have a bird in the hand than two in the bush.” He looked at me like I was a lunatic; I then followed with an explanation of the 16th century proverb—warning against taking unnecessary risks.

I have found this one of the hardest lessons to teach my children. It is a work in progress and one that I hope they truly understand by the time they step out into the world.

It is so hard for them to see that they are not victims or "unlucky" when things go wrong or they don't get what they want. That who they have been in that moment, or in the past, has created the outcomes that are defining the parameters of their life.

It is as simple as getting them to iron their shirts for school and understand that yes, one day with a crumpled shirt isn't going to have a discernable impact, but, one year of turning up looking a little bit rough, will mean when the leadership roles are being handed out, they may be second choice to a boy who turned up every day looking like he cared and respected the school uniform.

I am not a conformist - far from it, and I don't care whether they are prefects or not - what I care about is them understanding that whatever they want in life, is 100 percent up to them - who they are and how they show up.

For us big people, out here humaning - we must check ourselves, often. Righteousness and the seductive state of victim are pervasive companions that do not serve us at all! XP

I do not support the idea that people who have a platform to be heard, get to use it for harm. It is a privilege to lead and serve, the moment that privilege is used to vilify, it needs to be revoked.

The argument that our freedom of speech gives us the right to incite hate is fundamentally flawed; you must ask yourself, do you want our world to continue to evolve intellectually and spiritually or are you happy with hate speech contributing to the fabric of our societies.

Hi**er slaughtered millions through hate speech unchecked. In Rwanda, a whole race was all but exterminated through the use of words inflamed and given legitimacy.

I am sure many intellects and progressive individuals supported Adolf’s right to form his party, to campaign for separatism and purity of the German race. I am also sure the legacy, the footprint they left on history, is not one they took proudly to their graves.

Israel, like Jacinda A, like Merkle, like Trump, has a platform to be heard; that platform has been earnt through who they have been in the world. The responsibility of that position is even far more significant now, in a time when one tiny tweet can be seen and absorbed by millions and the ripple effect of those words can reach out and harm the most innocent amongst us.

Everyone who has the privilege of a public platform can use their podium to motivate, inspire, uplift and educate, or it can be used to belittle, hurt and in some cases, I believe—kill. Yes, I have no doubt, somewhere, in some room, that tweet will have been the last little piece of hate that made a young gay boys’ shame too big to bare, and he will have taken his own life.

Publishing posts and comments in all their high-brow, PC correctness that support the right to spread hate, are part of the problem, not the solution. They legitimise the message and give wings to those who vilify for gain or glory.

Leadership is a privilege hard earnt, we all get to choose every moment how we use it.

This statement seems particularly relevant in the world right now with the movement. I think all the stories need to be told, the little ones and the bigs ones and if they make us uncomfortable that's because it is uncomfortable.

With so many stories it's easy to think: I'm over this, or boring, or that happens to all of us! Be patient, be empathetic, because that brave voice saying might have taken ten years to come out. That story of shame or fear or guilt may well have been festering under the skin for a very long time, and all it needed was sunlight; to be heard and understood - so the rot it creates can fade away. XP

www.beliefschool.com

This event is for all the fabulous Kiwi's who love what we do. I hope you are going to join us on June 2nd in Auckland. XX

Have you got your ticket to CCB yet? Did you know there are over 8 hours of entertainment, inspiration, life-changing content and stories that will bring you to tears! XP
https://www.shesaysevents.com/tickets/

How often do you make a choice because you think you should? Because you think it is the safe thing, the easy thing, the thing everyone else wants?

I discovered many moons ago that doing what others want is never right, safe or easy. In the long run, it is inevitably more difficult, more unpleasant and less productive. Trust your gut and be brave beautiful humans. XP

You are worth it!!

https://www.shesaysevents.com/tickets/

I know most peeps at this time of year are posting beautiful inspiring pictures and quotes to get you motivated for the new year. Not here at Belief School - I thought I'd post this picture of a giant bat scientists discovered that lived millions of years ago.

Millions of years, not hundreds or thousands - but millions. Whenever I think about the timescale of life on this planet, my brain explodes and I am washed away by a tidal wave of our insignificance!

My New Year Message for you is to truly madly deeply spend 2018 operating from a place of enoughness. That you are enough and that there is enough in the world for you. Enough love, enough resources and enough time.

For some, this will come naturally as you were brought up this way. For the rest of us mere mortals, we have been relentlessly told, in many overt ways and thousands of subtle ways, that there isn’t enough and worst of all that we are not enough.

That we have to be smarter, slimmer and more social. We must be having awesome s*x, deep connections, keep our act together, have more money, know our path and be happy and grateful!!

So why the BAT reference? Because humans have been here a millisecond in the context of time, and all these things that are crowding our brains and sucking the joy out of life are just stealing our time.

I’m not going to tell you to live in the moment – because it is darn near impossible, I am encouraging you to tell yourself every morning, no matter what you wake up to – that YOU ARE ENOUGH.

That who you are right now is you – all your wonderful talents and all your nasty too. It’s enough: it’s enough for you to love and be loved, it’s enough for you to feel joy and live through pain, it’s enough for those you love and also to give some away.

2018 is my year of ENOUGHNESS and BADASSERY! What a great combination!
XP