Manbri Group

WHAT DO YOU FEAR?
By Dr Abri Brancken

Fear has always been part of humanity’s experience of life. Although you cannot see fear with your physical eyes, it exists in a very subtle, yet powerful way. Very often you are not even aware that it is there, right with you, influencing and affecting the decisions you make, the way you think, act and relate to others around you. Fear affects your relationships, your general mood and your vision for the future. It hinders your growth process for it often promotes failure as being the outcome of your efforts. Fear intimidates its victim into submission. It wants you to believe that you have no other option but to live with it and to embrace fear as part of your character and makeup in life.

Are your fears valid?
The thing is this; you can live your life free from fear. That dreadful type of fear that keeps you awake at night and that leads to you experiencing stress, anxiety and even depression does not have to be part of your life. If you are struggling with fear, take heart, for you are not alone. The good news is that something can be done about it. The first step in overcoming fear is to understand and realize that you can live your life free from it. You were not destined to be a victim to fear. By applying the right strategies, principles and looking at life from the right perspective, you can enjoy a fear-free lifestyle. It is estimated that only about 4 % of all the fears that you will experience in your life is valid. It is crazy when you think about it. About 96% of the fears that you ponder will never happen to you. Knowing this is very liberating. Once you begin to understand what fear is, how it comes and how to counter it, your life will be transformed amazingly.

Over the years I have had the privilege to help people achieve great breakthroughs from their habitual fearful living. I have seen men, women and children from all walks of life and across the globe stand up to fear, choosing not to simply yield to its controlling and negative influence in their lives. You can be free too…

What do you fear?
We all fear various things. Some fear failure, others fear being alone, while still others may fear contracting some sickness or disease, like Covid-19. This constant fear can cause you to become paranoid about where you go, what you do and who you spend time with. Now, I am not suggesting living recklessly. Wisdom and common sense need to prevail, but having an overly preoccupied fear of becoming sick will lead to emotional and other physical issues. Today we know that stress leads to physical illness. If your fear of contracting Covid-19 or any other sickness for that matter leads to you getting poor sleep; finding that you are focusing on bad news all the time; being crippled by anxiety; experiencing thoughts of su***de; stop your connection to others and stop reaching out to friends and family, etc. it might be an indication that you are fear-driven and need help.

Living in constant or regular patterns of fear will make it almost impossible for you to experience joy in your life. Fear traps its victim in a mental prison where the victim becomes so preoccupied with the things they fear that they become paralysed in life. You might even be on vacation yet you feel burdened by your fears, unable to escape them even in the most pleasant environments. Is this you? Remember this. If only about 4% of your fears are valid, then fear is nothing less than False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear is the unseen enemy that presents itself as more powerful than it is.

Fear indicators
Take a look at the following fear indicators or warning signs that show that you might be affected by fear regularly.

a. A chronic nervousness about your future security and financial position.
b. Feeling stressed all the time even though there is nothing really to stress about.
c. Panic attacks.
d. Exaggerating perceived threats to a worst-case scenario.
e. Repetitive patterns of anxiety that you experience within certain contexts or with certain people.
f. Often trying to avoid change and refraining from stepping out and doing something new.
g. Always trying to fit in with others at the cost of being yourself. (Fear of rejection)
h. Having a passive approach to life in general. (Fear of failure)
i. An excessive worry that circumstances and things will not work out the way you want them

Do you identify with any or several of these indicators? If your answer is yes, don’t worry. Let me reiterate that to be able to identify fear in your life is the first step towards being free from it. The first thing to do in evaluating “your fears” is to get specific about what you are afraid of. You need to ask yourself two important questions. Firstly, what am I afraid of? Is it a person? Is it a place? Is it the unknown or do I fear going through some kind of past trauma again? Once you realize and identify what you are afraid of, you need to ask the second important question and that is, “why am I afraid of it?”

You need to discover and deal with the root cause of your fear. You might be afraid of marriage because your parents got divorced when you were young and you fear walking in your parent’s footsteps. What you fear is not marriage, but the commitment that it takes and the possibility of divorce and the emotional pain it brings. Yet again, you might have a fear of the dark because when you were a child you got stuck in an old fridge on your grandparent’s farm. The trauma of being locked up all alone in the dark, fearing that you might die and never see your parents, brothers and sisters again is the real issue, not dark rooms. When you deal with the root cause of the fear, fear tends to be stripped of its power.

Face your fears
Don’t live your life running away from your fears for this will cause you to go nowhere in life. Face your fears! It is easy to look for excuses and be the victim, but you need to be brave. You should face your fears and anxieties irrespective of how difficult it might be, for the reward is sweet. There are specialists like counsellors and therapists that can journey with you through your healing process. In the long run, people spend more time and energy trying to avoid their fears than they do on facing and overcoming them.

Embrace freedom…
Abri

The Power of Negative Thoughts:

After many years of working with people from all across the globe and from all walks of life, I have come to the deep realisation that negative thoughts are probably the single worst health habit there is. Whether you are aware of it or not, the thoughts you think will colour the day you see.

If you have been harbouring negative thoughts for some years, those thoughts have probably become your identity. You feel safe with them and you define your life by them. Sometimes trauma, rejection, unforgiveness and fear can cause you to hold on to the very thing that destroys you and cripple your relationships. The truth is that you will never be able to live a positive life nor enjoy meaningful relationships when you have a negative mind. Negative thoughts will hold you back, weigh you down, and drain your energy. They lead to several disorders, especially depression and anxiety. Dwelling on negative thoughts is like fertilising weeds. There is no good outcome and you don't want them to grow.

Destroy negative thoughts when they appear, before they grow and become all you see. Go for counselling, ask for help and choose to let go of yesterdays failures and pain. Get a perspective of your life and the negative, hurtful and disappointing things that brought you to where you are today. Choose to move on. It does not just happen, it takes a decisive decision and that decision is followed by a lot of hard work and focus. Train yourself to flip the script. Even positive people have negative thoughts, but they just don't let those thoughts grow and destroy them. They don't entertain those thoughts. Decide that from today on, you will not allow a negative or stressful thought to go unchallenged. Negative thoughts appear unannounced at any time of the day or night, but they are to be classified as unwelcome guests. Don't open the door for them and see how your life will begin to change for the good.

Many blessings, Abri