Humans of Macleans College

“I’m not kidding when I say I don’t have single creative or inspirational bone in my body, and so I don’t really know what I’m meant to write. They gave me two weeks to write this but somehow I ended up starting this at 10pm the night before. Typical.

But, I guess one thing I’ve learnt over the years is that it is completely normal to have no idea what you’re doing, because chances are, the person right next to you doesn’t have a clue either. Planning is good, that’s what my English teacher always told me but somehow I’ve never gotten to the stage of mapping my life out. I leave Macleans in less than half a year and when people ask me “What do you want to do when you leave?” I come up blank. I have no clue. I don’t even know what I’m doing this weekend, let alone know what I’m doing for the next 10 years of my life.

However, all this confusion about what lies ahead has forced me to open up a little bit. It’s pushed me out of my comfort zone and allowed me to discover different parts of myself. What else do I like or dislike? What could I see myself doing? Or more importantly, NOT doing? In this last year I’ve opened myself up to unfamiliar experiences, talked to more people, said ‘yes’ to crazy opportunities, and explored new parts of who I am and who I want to be. But most of all, I’ve had fun doing it! Appreciate the time you have while you’re young, because as cheesy as it sounds, this is the youngest you’ll ever be again. By this, I mean enjoy all the free time you have to watch Netflix for hours after school. I mean appreciate the times like when the hardest thing you had to worry about was if you brought your hat to school so you could play in the playground. It’s the small things that you’ll miss.

Whether you’re a year 13 moving on next year, or you’re someone that just entered college, just remember that you’re allowed to feel lost. You’re allowed to not know what you’re doing. You’re allowed to fail. You’re allowed to change your mind. Time doesn’t stop just because you want it to, whether you have your life planned out or not. You’ll figure it all out eventually, but, in the meantime, my biggest advice is to just have fun :)”

"Honestly, I never expected myself to be friends with someone who takes 50 scholarships, one who is good with his Rubik’s cubes and a genius house captain. And me? I’m the clueless one who has no idea how he got here in the first place.

The four legends. You probably already realised we play cricket. We are pretty good at it too. We may be third eleven but we got the spirit. From me getting knocked out by Karanjeet’s bowling, to Anish breaking his foot, and Mantra learning to use his legs for once. These moments are those we look back to and treasure.

Friends get you through your time at Macleans. The unexpected friendships get you through your life. I’ve been so fortunate to be able to spend my time here with these individuals.
To the ones who read this, walk around, smile as you go by. End the day, feeling satisfied that you made someone happy today. Be the reason someone smiles today, be the inspiration that someone needs and be the support some may need. You never really know how much this impacts them. Spread positivity, and make some new friends. These will be the lifesavers of your time here at Macleans and for years to come.

And you! Take care of yourself. Always remember that your friends will always be there for you. The best of them will want to hear you speak out whatever is troubling you. So if you are finding it tough, talk to them and don’t keep it to yourself. You will realise that the closest of friends will be present at your worst times. Just like these three have been for me.

We are not the coolest bunch of people in Macleans but definitely the best type of friends."

“Life is full of people from all walks of life and personalities. When I first came to Macleans I believed that you had to be a certain person to do certain things. For example, you had to be the strongest and biggest person to be in the sports teams, you had to be “A-class” to get the awards and scholarships, and leaders were always the strong-willed and outgoing people in the world. Macleans has taught me that any person can do anything they put their minds to, no matter who they are and what they are like.

I first learned about this when I joined the rowing squad in Macleans. Back then I had no idea of the struggle and commitment that I would put into the sport, and from the beginning, I always thought that my lanky noodle arms would never get me to the top. However, as the season grew on, I realised that, while I wasn’t the best, I enjoyed the sport and I felt I was part of a great team. Not only was I able to accomplish my goals and become passionate about a sport, but I was also able to make incredible friends and memories. This has been common throughout all aspects of Macleans life. People who I had known for years and weren’t the stereotypical extroverted and upfront people, like many leaders, are now some of the top leaders in the school. I realised that people who weren’t the so-called “geniuses” of the school are now getting some of the highest awards possible due to their hard work and dedication. Macleans helps bring out the best in people and has helped me realise that I can be whoever I want to be and do whatever I want to do, no matter if I am the strongest, boldest or smartest. As long as we work hard, we all can do the impossible.”

‘If you could, what would you tell your year 9 self?’

Samadiana: “Underestimating yourself is just as dangerous as overestimating yourself. If there is something you are wanting to do but you're not sure if you are up to it just go for it! Remember that there is a learning process to everything and put trust in this learning process. “

Abhinav: “Stop living for other people. Appreciate every moment. Don’t listen to your mum's style advice.”

Hannah: “I always find it funny when I get asked what I would tell my younger self, because the truth is, I still have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. And that’s okay, because what I have learned is, no one else does either. So I guess that would be my advice. It’s okay to not know where to go, to feel lost, and you are not alone in those feelings. While advice is all and good, the only way you will properly understand is if you get out there and experience it yourself. Put yourself in positions, experiences, and relationships with other people where you have room to grow and learn for yourself.”

Levi: “Appreciate the early morning wake ups, getting home late and the many Athletics and Cross-Countries. When you hit year 13 you release that you don’t get these times back, and they are what makes your time at Macleans memorable. It's what makes Macleans so special and such the great school it is. So enjoy every moment, the good, bad and ugly because it will all be over before you know it.”

“This year has definitely been an unforgettable journey for the Macleans College News Committee. Moreover, it has been such a huge pleasure working with an extraordinary group of students who strive to produce high-quality content each week. Despite having encountered a number of inconveniences which disrupted many of our plans for this year, we are proud to have achieved numerous tasks ranging from coverage over areas of school life to our weekly Humans of Macleans College posts involving individual stories of both students and staff. We are also exceptionally proud of our photography and event coverage team for covering schoolwide events such as Cross Country, Student Wellbeing Week and many more.

The group consisted of 15 enthusiastic members, with each student given multiple roles across a broad spectrum of smaller committees. Throughout the year, our main highlights were the Valentine’s Day video, Athletics Day photography coverage, Small House Choir videos and Humans of Macleans College posts. We were also fortunate enough to be able to start up a YouTube channel featuring all of our videos posted on our website.

The Macleans College News Committee was student-led by the Executive Team consisting of Year 12 students Samuel Zheng (Mansfield House), and Jasmin Rogado (Rutherford House) alongside with Year 13 students Noor Radhi and Selena Guo (both Batten House).

On behalf of the group, we would like to recognise all the hard work and efforts of Mrs Berger for constantly checking up on the group and providing guidance for the team. Finally, we would like to thank you for your support and feedback for our pages. The Committee has had a spectacular experience this year and looks forward to the continued commitment and attitude of students in gaining a passion for news, photography, event coverage, and videography.

We wish you all a safe and enjoyable holiday and we look forward to another great year. Kia kaha everyone.”

Back: Ellen Wang, Boa Kim, Janice Jiang, Andrew Guo, Zaid Mustafa, Samuel Zheng, Dan Sy Tan
Front: Stephanie Chong, Jasmin Rogado, Jessica-Hope Wei, Annika Lee, Selena Guo, Jo Milward, Noor Radhi, Mrs Berger (Teacher)
Absent: Phoebe James

“I always wondered what Macleans would be like in BBI. When I entered college a year after, I met countless failures. I kept failing and still fail now. I would give up, start to think if I really should keep going. I began to judge my own ability, lower myself and my confidence into a spot where there was no way out. I used to bury myself inside my failures instead of finding a way forward.

But if I was, to be honest, the failures I endured made the better part of me. The people, values and beliefs at Macleans teach you to take on every road with courage and pride to move forward. It built me into a stronger and more willing to succeed person. I became my own strength. And you are your strength too. It’s only you who can become whom you want to be, no one else will do it for you. So, keep going. Fail more. It won’t matter because of the success you achieve by the end of it will be better than anything else. There will be a point where you would fall, and there would be no way up. But you are made for this. You will always get back up, and you will keep going.

Macleans changes you for all the right reasons. It gives you a platform to perform, a stage to achieve and a podium to stand on. It changes you so that you press on into your life with joy and fearlessness.

I can’t help but wonder if it wasn’t for the failures I had during my time at Macleans so far, where would I be? I would’ve never found out that I had a somewhat decent talent inside design and photoshop. I would’ve never found out that Macleans Cricket will become such an essential part of my lifestyle. Most importantly, I would’ve never known that I had this hidden ability inside of me to get myself back up and keep moving forward. Finally, I came to realise, Macleans is not only what defines your academics, your co-curricular or your friendships. It is what defines your purpose. The goal that will take you further after your life at Macleans. A purpose that will strive to make your future more worthwhile and meaningful. The ambition that will define who you are and carry you forward till the end.

Keep going. It’s all going to be worth it.”

“Where are you from?”

“Growing up in Auckland, my answer would always be “Korea”. Korea is among the world's most ethnically homogeneous nations and growing up as an immigrant in a multicultural city, I had many opportunities to question my identity. I was constantly battling to retain my “Koreanness” at home while my roots would dig deeper into Kiwiland. Perhaps this may have stemmed the strange void in my identity.

So I sought to find myself in Seoul. In the eyes of the Seoulites, I looked Korean and spoke fluent Korean. But my thought processes, the way I dressed and behaved was apparently distinguishable. So I would get asked the same question but would reply, “I’m from New Zealand".

When I returned home, I felt a sense of connection to the land, the people and my past experiences of growing up here. I met my husband - who's from Taiwan and is a bit like me. He grew up in Hamilton but studied in Europe, worked a bit in the States… What's common between us is that we are both global nomads but we've come home to Kiwiland and this is our nest.

Hold the people and the places that raised you dear to your heart. Walk with mana, love and kindness that we've imparted you with. And never forget who you are. That is your home.”

“After these 5 years at Macleans, I’ve come to value my emotions more than I could ever imagine. My journey through high school wasn’t the easiest as in my time here, I’ve had to confront my worst demons and build myself into someone I’m happy to be. I’d never been too in touch with my emotions coming into Macleans. Experiences from my past had generally discouraged me from seeking help whenever times got tough, and although I thought I was fine before entering high school, it became very apparent when joining an extension class both my self-esteem and sense of self-worth slowly diminished. Coupled with some of the troubles I had faced when I was younger, I soon found myself struggling to get out of bed without bursting into tears.

This struggle raged on for a lengthy portion of my first two years at Macleans. Moreover, I constantly reminded myself that ‘I was very privileged to be where I was’, and developed a burden mentality where I’d shut myself off from family and friends. I believed that it was all phase and eventually I’d snap back into my old self. However, as time went on, the pain just got worse; and I came to the conclusion that in order to prevent myself from further suffering, no feelings were better than the ones I was having. I suppressed and buried every emotion until all that I had was a heart heavy weighted by the feelings I could never tap into, a broken mind, and an expressionless face. I’m sure nearly everyone around me sensed my change in demeanour as almost instantly I was frequently asked by my family, friends, classmates, and even teachers: ‘are you okay?’. Despite the sentiment, my reactions were always the same, frustrated look which was very poorly acted, followed by an ‘I’m fine’. But behind that emotionless gaze was a tired and scared teen. Tired of overthinking every single conversation, scared of a bleak future, unknowing of whether I’d ever feel happy again. Falling in reverse, unsure of when I’d ever hit the ground.

Except, I still tried my best to change myself in whatever way I could. Whether it was imagining a scene from one of my favourite movies to break the cycle of destructive thoughts, playing a game of League to remind myself what true pain was, messaging random people on the internet about my problems, or realising that there were people around me that cared about me, and would tell me to never give up. I remembered that every time I woke up, there was a face to smile at, a joke to laugh at, an ear to talk to. And after a very long grey palleted lifestyle, I finally hit the ground and was ready to get up. I can still vividly remember the moment where it felt like everything had just clicked into place and I was beginning to feel the fruits of my labour. I was on the bus home, listening to some music through my headphones where I began to lose myself in the music. Although a common occurrence for me to vibe hard, it was the first time the noise in my head properly began to fade away and for the first time ever since I placed it upon myself, the weight on my heart felt a little bit lighter.

In fact, gradually over time after this moment, the weight on my heart disappeared entirely. This wasn’t to say that the problems that were there before just magically disappeared but, I had begun to feel things again, and this time I knew that this time I was going to handle them differently. Dealing with the things I bottled up beforehand is its own story, but I do owe that part of my life to my friends and family who supported me the whole time; and to wrap up this extremely long piece, I wanted to mention the takeaways of my 5 years at Macleans and say something about who I am now. I learned that emotions mean everything. It sounds obvious but, you never know when you might end up in a situation like mine where you feel like opting out of the whole feeling sad thing. I also came to value my friends a lot more than before. My group is honestly the first that made me feel like I genuinely belonged somewhere and I definitely wouldn’t have survived high school without them. Most importantly I’m probably the happiest I’ve ever been. It was a long, intense, slow journey getting me here; and being happy doesn’t mean I’m living a perfect life. It just means I’m in a spot where I know, whatever happens, I’ll be able to bounce back.”

“Starting my college life at Macleans last year made me realise many things. It’s been a whirlwind of epiphanies in every sense of the word. One epiphany, however, was not like the rest; it wasn’t to do with strengths, weaknesses, or about my future career at all, like many of the other realisations that occurred to me during my time here. It’s that you have to take it easy.

I know, I know. “I have to study!” “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” Don’t get me wrong: while I absolutely advocate for the importance of pushing yourself to reach your full potential, beyond a certain point the cost to your sanity isn’t worth it. Burnout, from firsthand experience, is not pleasant, and a tough thing to watch the brilliant go through. Overwhelming yourself with work and extracurricular activities and study isn’t the best way to go about school.

A tip I learnt (which I’m still trying to master) is to dedicate at least (or at most if you’re stingy) one hour every day to doing something you want to do. It can be anything from watching an episode of your show to spending time with your friends or even sleeping. Simply relaxing can be the key to a healthy school-play balance. Self-control very much comes to play in this, however, because letting relaxation slip into procrastination is the other extreme end of the spectrum which we don’t want to get encased in. I’ll be honest, lately, procrastination has been my main mode of getting study and work done, and I would not recommend it. Very stressful, 0/10. So you have to work your way into the middle!

Finding that balance is pertinent to your success and happiness at school. Of course, other problems will weasel their way into your school life, but c’est la vie. The underlying goal should always be to be taking care of yourself first. Reach out to a friend to talk about it, or go to SAS if you’re comfortable. Spend some time alone if that’s what you need! But always think to yourself, “Am I doing what’s right for my mind right now?” And if the answer is no: Take. A. Break. Please. :)”

“Failure. Loss. Defeat. These are words that we all dread to hear, and some of the most frustrating and disheartening things we experience as students. Throughout my years in college, I’ve experienced my fair share of failure and its subsequent disappointment and regret. Over and over again I would believe I wasn’t enough. Over and over again I would compare myself to others and believe that I’ll never be like them. Over and over again, I would tell myself to just give up and give in—why should I try if failure were my inevitable fate?

As overused as it is, every failure we have, every defeat we suffer, and every mistake we make all end up aiding us in our search for success. It seems counterintuitive how something which seems to force us back can help us move forwards, but as I moved through the years, I slowly began to understand what that meant. I remember being a Year 9 barely passing extension maths, feeling lost and discouraged, wondering, ‘How am I going to make it through to Year 13 if I just passed by 2%?’ I went into denial about my score because I didn’t want to accept it. I believed that my failures defined who I was and my future, and that they were something I should feel ashamed about.

But I soon realised that in the long run, that score would quickly become a part of my past and would no longer matter. This helped ease my conscience, and as a result, I began to focus on what I could do to change my future. This meant working hard and putting more effort into my studies, which soon paid off in the following years.

This experience alone allowed me to truly appreciate that failure isn’t something that we should avoid or be ashamed of because without failure there is no success. So I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s okay to make mistakes. Don’t stress if you didn’t make the cut or get as high as you wanted in a test—those mistakes will help you to become a better and more knowledgeable version of yourself. As Uncle Iroh once said, ‘Failure is only the opportunity to start again. Only, this time, more wisely’.”