29/01/2026
So children have this beautiful ability of mirroring exactly what's going on inside of us, but without the mask, the glitter or the decoration. And with that they trigger exactly what we need to work on. Old news right? But when it hits you.. it does without mercy. The beauty of growing and healing.
So here's the story: last Monday we went to see a potential location for our next Motherhood Event. Beautiful, peaceful, serene, quiet.. Very calming, relaxing.. All that would be wiped away by my 3 year old about an hour after.
I thought it would be a fun idea to go for lunch. A place we frequent and he loves. And also their pancakes. But he wouldn't have any of it. He started screaming, wanting to go home. But I was starving. And he ALWAYS wants the pancakes there?! Surely he'd calm down by the time we'd get there. Latest by the time we'd enter the playroom and he'd realise it's his favorite pancake place. And the place was PACKED. Like, packed packed. And.. he didn't calm down. He kept screaming and crying. There was absolutely no way to reason with him. Honestly, I'd never experienced this with him. Obviously I tried to calm him down but everything that usually works, just made things worse.
After less than 10 minutes I left with him. I could not hold back my tears any longer. First time ever I felt embarrassed for my crying and screaming child. And for me crying because of it. For perhaps being seen as an incapable parent.
Once outside we both let it all out. I told him how hard this was for both of us, and how I should not have pushed him, but that I would REALLY like to eat something. I was crying, and his hands went to my eyes, as if to double check if my tears were real.
After a while we went back, he calmed down, I dried my tears, and he played like nothing happened. I however had my tap turned open. It's Thursday now, but since Monday I've been crying A LOT. And I guess that was necessary. And my deeply loved son screamed and cried as long as necessary for my resistance to break. And even though it's annoying that I break into tears when someone genuinely asks "how are you?" - I appreciate what happened.