Connecting2Life

Here is our latest Newsletter: "The Inner Permission to Make Crap" accompanied by three different videos as a little gift: a podcast I participated in, and two creative “crap” videos I made.
Click this link: https://mailchi.mp/connecting2life/396mlndsyj-13866705

I will be offering a free evening introduction to NVC on September 19, from 19:00 to 21:30 CEST.

Hey everyone,
I’m excited to announce a new format that I’d love for you to engage with: "Free Introduction to NVC."
For you, it’s a chance to invite your family, friends, colleagues, neighbors, roommates, acquaintances, comrades, partners, lovers, and even co-citizens (dogs, cats, and trees are also welcome!) to get a taste of NVC.
Here’s my invitation to you: Think of the people in your life who could receive this low-threshold opportunity. Send them:
A short message expressing what you like about NVC or Connecting2life.
A warm invitation, clarifying that it’s free.
And voilà! I hope to offer the people in your life a meaningful fun introduction. 😊
Also, if you’re up for helping us spread the word on social media, that would be awesome!
Here’s the link you can use to invite others:
https://www.connecting2life.net/workshop/2024-09-19/online/free-introduction-to-nvc/

And here are also two invitations for you who have some experience with NVC:
1. Exceptionally, I (Yoram) will be offering the Basic Course this coming period. I love teaching the Basic Course, and I haven’t done so in two years. My intention in offering it this time is to give those interested in teaching NVC a chance to watch the recordings and learn from them. You can either fully participate in the course or join by watching the recordings only.

2. As you’ve probably noticed, learning NVC is one thing, and embodying it is another. Personally, I’m most excited about the slow and steady journey towards embodying NVC—with all the experiences, connections, f**k-ups, new openings, and realizations that come along the way. One great way to continue this process is by joining courses. Therefore, we’d love to invite and encourage you to join us for our upcoming courses and workshops:

❀ A new round of online and face-to-face courses will be starting in one month, including Connecting with Children, Basic, Intermediate, and Advanced courses.
❀ The new online year-long courses, "Embodying & Teaching NVC" and "Mediation Year Course," both starting in January 2025, are now available on the website.
❀ There are also 2-3 spots left for the Face-to-Face Mediation Year Course in Switzerland, starting in three weeks!
❀ Face-to-face weekend workshops will be held in Zurich, Geneva, and near Rome.
❀ A six-day Mediation Workshop in Italy.
❀ 'The Art of Making Love'—this time offered for both couples and singles.

All info can be found here: https://www.connecting2life.net/workshops-and-courses/

Workshops Archive - Connecting2Life - The Art of Dialogue Please let us know which newsletters you would like to receive. We send a separate newsletter to each country to let you know we'll be coming to offer a workshop.

Here our latest Newsletter:

In this newsletter, we would like to share a story from our trainer, Oriane Boyer, about "The Art of Compassionate Efficiency.”

And before we begin, we would love to invite and encourage you to join us for our upcoming courses, and workshops:

❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

The Basic course, Intermediate course and Advanced courses are opening in 1.5 weeks → note that the Advanced Course with Yoram will be exceptionally offered in the CET morning time to accommodate people from the eastern side of the globe.
❀ The new online Year long courses, "Embodying & Teaching NVC" and the "Mediation Year Course," both starting in January 2025, are now available on the website.
❀ New weekend face-to-face workshops will be held in Zurich, Geneva, and near Rome.�❀ 2 long workshops in France
❀ "The Art of Making Love" – this time offered for both couples and singles.
❀ And more…��All information can be found here: https://www.connecting2life.net/workshops-and-courses/

❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

Compassionate Efficiency:

A few months ago, three friends, who are also colleagues, and I started a project focused on bringing Nonviolent Communication, Empathy and Mediation to children, teens and the adults who work with them: teachers, parents, psychologists, etc.

We happily received offers from various institutions, such as schools and psychologists organizations, invited us to share our work.

Our organizational meetings became quite intense, with many decisions to make. Efficiency and clarity in organization were essential.

One day, during one of our meetings, I was in the process of moving to the countryside, leaving the city to join a collective project in a village. This significant change brought stress, anxiety, and many fears, as moving is quite a challenge for me—changing habits and facing the unknown.

Shortly after our initial connection round (we always start our meetings by sharing how we are), I broke down in tears. I was unable to focus on decision-making, finances, or other important practical matters. All my stress and anxiety poured out, and big tears rolled down my cheeks.

Immediately, my three friends changed our planned agenda, despite our 'deadlines,' and chose to offer me empathy and presence, supporting me through my waves of pain. They understood that adhering strictly to our schedule would not address what was truly alive and important—for me, for them, and for the project.

For 30 minutes, they held my hands, silently listened, and occasionally guessed my feelings and needs, reformulating them, and following me moment by moment on my emotional journey without trying to fix me. After 25 minutes, I felt calm and safe again and asked for advice. I wanted that. We spent five more minutes, and I appreciated the collective intelligence at work, which brought different ideas for my move and provided support.

I felt refreshed, quiet, and clear-headed, ready to proceed. In the next hour, we were able to focus on logistics and practicalities, making important decisions for the project with ease.

I wish all projects and business environments had the skills to hold human emotions as strongly as they handle logistics and decisions. We decided to call it: The Art of Compassionate Efficiency.

Thank you for reading,

Oriane

❀ Request: If you know people in your life who you think could benefit from NVC, or if you are connected to networks where this text could be valuable, please forward them this newsletter. Your support greatly helps us in our efforts to reach out to more people.

Workshops Archive - Connecting2Life - The Art of Dialogue Please let us know which newsletters you would like to receive. We send a separate newsletter to each country to let you know we'll be coming to offer a workshop.

Here our last Newsletter with a story: ‘Beyond Polarization’
As some of you may know, I am creating a podcast/YouTube channel called 'Beyond Polarization,' (to be put online in about 3-4 months) which aims to facilitate dialogues among individuals with opposing viewpoints. In this initiative, and in life in general, my task is to fall in love with the message of both sides, a task that can be challenging given that me too, I have opinions…
I'd like to share an exchange I recently had with an Israeli woman who held differing opinions from my own. I'll also delve into what helped me maintain connection despite our differences in opinions.
And just before that, I would love to invite you to join our upcoming courses and workshops:
❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀
❀ Very special opportunity: The train the trainer- ‘Embodying & Teaching NVC’- is opening in 1 month for a Face-to-Face edition this year, designed in a format that enables people from all over the world to join with minimal travel.
❀ Round of online and Face to face Courses are starting next week: The Basic, Intermediate, Advanced and the Connecting with Children courses.
❀ Six days of Facilitation workshop training in France, end of May
❀ The Art of Making love (NVC & s*x)
❀ And more and more….
All info can be found here: https://www.connecting2life.net/workshops-and-courses/
❀ Request: If you know people in your life who you think could benefit from NVC, or if you are connected to networks where this text could be valuable, please forward them this newsletter. Your support greatly helps us in our efforts to reach out to more people.
❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀
BEYOND POLARIZATION:
How can we connect with people who hold different opinions from ours, whether they are our partners, friends, colleagues, or strangers whose viewpoints concern us? And honestly, why even bother?
In an exchange I had with an Israeli woman, she expressed two opinions that I did not agree with. She said: "Hamas are not 'freedom fighters'; they are 'terrorists' as defined by all international laws, and dismissing this is dangerous," and "The Israeli Army has never attacked, only protected."
My inner voice immediately urged me to correct her and attempt to convince her otherwise based on the information I have and my own human sense of the situation. I'm glad I didn't respond in that manner. I have countless memories of responding by correcting people, trying to convince them they are wrong, attempting to show them that their information is partial or incorrect. In 99% of those dialogues, it simply did not work out as I had hoped. Instead, I would end up leaving the conversation feeling painfully alone, dissatisfied, and with a lingering sense of ‘f**k you’. Every conversation that ends with a ‘f**k you’ leaves a scar on the spiderweb of human connection.
‘Trying to convince' tends not to work:
→ Resistance: Imagine the core motivation of the person in front of you is to prove you wrong. How open do you feel now?
→ Aloneness ≠ togetherness: Opinions aren't about having the right information (which we'll never fully possess), but about the needs hidden beneath them. If I don't meet people on the level of the core values their opinions try to serve, they're likely to defend themselves as they feel profoundly alone in holding something dear and precious to them. For instance, imagine my partner says, "It's very important for our 5-year-old child to sleep in our bed." I disagree and show her articles disproving her point while also expressing annoyance at how naive she is for trusting her spiritual, non-scientific friends. In doing so, I risk her feeling very alone and in pain. Yet the heart of the matter is that she cares deeply for the healthy development of our child! And guess what? So do I! It is in this shared concern that we are united as a team, pointing in the same direction.
'Convincing' is winning a battle but losing the war. By refraining from trying to convince people, I shift my focus to something that is much more important to me than winning a single battle. Beyond even the subject matter; it's about building a foundation together that can resolve already now millions of future conflicts. It involves creating a safe ground for us to coexist.
So when confronted with someone holding opposing (or even frightening) opinions to mine, I direct my focus towards building a sense of teamwork. And why do I find it essential to focus on teamwork? Because of ‘Interdependence, cooperation & urgency’:
We share one planet, residing in an interdependent world where the well-being of others is interconnected with my own. Every action a person takes impacts my well-being; see the repercussions of one person in China attempting to eat a bat on a Sunday morning in November 2019… Cooperation on all levels of existence is paramount, especially in light of the urgency of our times: Humanity is confronted by global challenges like climate change, artificial intelligence, and the threat of nuclear war. We are on the brink, uncertain whether we will flourish or face extinction.
The way we all fight against each other, while the planet and the intricate web of human connections bleed, mirrors the situation of the two divorced parents I mediated this morning. They came to me after a long, fruitless battle in court; They recognized that the one who suffers most from their endless conflict is their beloved 4-year-old son. It was incredibly meaningful to establish a simple line of communication between them, ensuring that they could express themselves, be heard, and understand each other. It didn't take long for them to start making decisions together that benefited them both (and surely the three of them). For me, it was beautiful to witness: two people cooperating to provide the utmost care for their cherished child. Similarly, I dream of seeing people valuing care for the human fabric of connection more than the issues at hand. Cooperate beyond polarization.
And I anchor myself in this simple realization: ’I am not God (yet)’
I hold my opinions very lightly because I am clear, I am not God; I do not have the capacity to definitively know what is right, wrong, better, or worse in the long term. I do not possess absolute truth. Our knowledge is constantly evolving.
For instance, I used to consume beetroots and spinach daily, believing them to be very healthy as taught by Popeye the sailor man (for those of you who were born in the 1970s or earlier). However, last year, I learned that these foods were likely the cause of tendonitis that prevented me from walking for several months due to their high oxalate content (which, obviously, I am also unsure whether it is indeed the cause or not).
Another example, I stopped eating breakfast twenty years ago, despite numerous individuals insisting it was unhealthy because breakfast is presumed to be the most important meal of the day. However, my body simply does not crave food in the morning, so I continued this habit. Over the past two years, many people have praised me for not eating breakfast, saying, 'Wow, you're doing intermittent fasting, cool! So, is eating breakfast good or bad? It depends on when you are asking, while honestly, no one knows for sure.
Yes, I have opinions (thoughts), yet I hold them very lightly:
→ I have deep concerns about labeling someone as 'terrorists' (which is bad) and another as ‘army’ (which is fine).
Yet I also feel very scared about things the Hamas is doing and their ideology. While I have some thoughts, feelings, and intuitions, I have absolutely no clue what the right thing to do is.
→ I do extensively read and hear from a wide variety of sources about the decisions made by the Israeli government and army, and it often leaves me feeling sad and scared. I don't perceive it solely as protection.
However, truthfully, the news and information are so partial and biased, and I have little to no clue about what’s true and what the right course of action is.
So here is what I replied to her statements: "Hamas are not 'freedom fighters'; they are 'terrorists' as defined by all international laws, and dismissing this is dangerous," and "The Israeli Army has never attacked, only protected."
→ I said: 'I guess it deeply worries you that if they are not named as 'terrorists,' it creates the space to accept such actions as those on the 7th of October, and generally, to accept anti-Semitism as being okay?'
She cried. She shared that she grew up with a father who spoke Arabic and had very good connections with Palestinians. She grew up with this image of connection between the nations, and the events of the 7th of October shattered her dream of peace. She cried again. She cried about how scary it is to witness certain actions against Jews today and the fear that antisemitism might grow and spread again.
I was touched and felt tons of compassion. I am so happy I did not try to convince her.
I so value staying together in it.
And for those of you who are thinking now: ‘YES, but you cannot just stay silent and let people continue believing dangerous things!’
I breathe. It's tempting to revert to thinking that my job is to convince her to change her mind. Then again: I am not God, I sit with my own fears, I mourn (‘Mourning’ is the process of accepting reality as it is—to meet her as she is, rather than focusing on how to change her). And I want to cooperate also with people who think very differently from me. I want to stay together. I take another breath, grateful that I let her be herself and that I am contributing to the very quality of togetherness I want to live and create on this planet.
With much hope for cooperation at all levels of existence,
Yoram

Workshops Archive - Connecting2Life - The Art of Dialogue Please let us know which newsletters you would like to receive. We send a separate newsletter to each country to let you know we'll be coming to offer a workshop.

Workshops Archive - Connecting2Life - The Art of Dialogue Please let us know which newsletters you would like to receive. We send a separate newsletter to each country to let you know we'll be coming to offer a workshop.

Here our last Newsletter with a story: ‘Beyond Polarization’
�As some of you may know, I am creating a podcast/YouTube channel called 'Beyond Polarization,' (to be put online in about 3-4 months) which aims to facilitate dialogues among individuals with opposing viewpoints. In this initiative, and in life in general, my task is to fall in love with the message of both sides, a task that can be challenging given that me too, I have opinions…

I'd like to share an exchange I recently had with an Israeli woman who held differing opinions from my own. I'll also delve into what helped me maintain connection despite our differences in opinions.

And just before that, I would love to invite you to join our upcoming courses and workshops:

❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

❀ Very special opportunity: The train the trainer- ‘Embodying & Teaching NVC’- is opening in 1 month for a Face-to-Face edition this year, designed in a format that enables people from all over the world to join with minimal travel.
❀ Round of online and Face to face Courses are starting next week: The Basic, Intermediate, Advanced and the Connecting with Children courses.
❀ Six days of Facilitation workshop training in France, end of May
❀ The Art of Making love (NVC & s*x)
❀ And more and more….��All info can be found here: https://www.connecting2life.net/workshops-and-courses/

❀ Request: If you know people in your life who you think could benefit from NVC, or if you are connected to networks where this text could be valuable, please forward them this newsletter. Your support greatly helps us in our efforts to reach out to more people.

❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

BEYOND POLARIZATION:

How can we connect with people who hold different opinions from ours, whether they are our partners, friends, colleagues, or strangers whose viewpoints concern us? And honestly, why even bother?

In an exchange I had with an Israeli woman, she expressed two opinions that I did not agree with. She said: "Hamas are not 'freedom fighters'; they are 'terrorists' as defined by all international laws, and dismissing this is dangerous," and "The Israeli Army has never attacked, only protected."
My inner voice immediately urged me to correct her and attempt to convince her otherwise based on the information I have and my own human sense of the situation. I'm glad I didn't respond in that manner. I have countless memories of responding by correcting people, trying to convince them they are wrong, attempting to show them that their information is partial or incorrect. In 99% of those dialogues, it simply did not work out as I had hoped. Instead, I would end up leaving the conversation feeling painfully alone, dissatisfied, and with a lingering sense of ‘f**k you’. Every conversation that ends with a ‘f**k you’ leaves a scar on the spiderweb of human connection.

‘Trying to convince' tends not to work:
→ Resistance: Imagine the core motivation of the person in front of you is to prove you wrong. How open do you feel now?
→ Aloneness ≠ togetherness: Opinions aren't about having the right information (which we'll never fully possess), but about the needs hidden beneath them. If I don't meet people on the level of the core values their opinions try to serve, they're likely to defend themselves as they feel profoundly alone in holding something dear and precious to them. For instance, imagine my partner says, "It's very important for our 5-year-old child to sleep in our bed." I disagree and show her articles disproving her point while also expressing annoyance at how naive she is for trusting her spiritual, non-scientific friends. In doing so, I risk her feeling very alone and in pain. Yet the heart of the matter is that she cares deeply for the healthy development of our child! And guess what? So do I! It is in this shared concern that we are united as a team, pointing in the same direction.
'Convincing' is winning a battle but losing the war. By refraining from trying to convince people, I shift my focus to something that is much more important to me than winning a single battle. Beyond even the subject matter; it's about building a foundation together that can resolve already now millions of future conflicts. It involves creating a safe ground for us to coexist.

So when confronted with someone holding opposing (or even frightening) opinions to mine, I direct my focus towards building a sense of teamwork. And why do I find it essential to focus on teamwork? Because of ‘Interdependence, cooperation & urgency’:
We share one planet, residing in an interdependent world where the well-being of others is interconnected with my own. Every action a person takes impacts my well-being; see the repercussions of one person in China attempting to eat a bat on a Sunday morning in November 2019… Cooperation on all levels of existence is paramount, especially in light of the urgency of our times: Humanity is confronted by global challenges like climate change, artificial intelligence, and the threat of nuclear war. We are on the brink, uncertain whether we will flourish or face extinction.
The way we all fight against each other, while the planet and the intricate web of human connections bleed, mirrors the situation of the two divorced parents I mediated this morning. They came to me after a long, fruitless battle in court; They recognized that the one who suffers most from their endless conflict is their beloved 4-year-old son. It was incredibly meaningful to establish a simple line of communication between them, ensuring that they could express themselves, be heard, and understand each other. It didn't take long for them to start making decisions together that benefited them both (and surely the three of them). For me, it was beautiful to witness: two people cooperating to provide the utmost care for their cherished child. Similarly, I dream of seeing people valuing care for the human fabric of connection more than the issues at hand. Cooperate beyond polarization.
�And I anchor myself in this simple realization: ’I am not God (yet)’
I hold my opinions very lightly because I am clear, I am not God; I do not have the capacity to definitively know what is right, wrong, better, or worse in the long term. I do not possess absolute truth. Our knowledge is constantly evolving. �For instance, I used to consume beetroots and spinach daily, believing them to be very healthy as taught by Popeye the sailor man (for those of you who were born in the 1970s or earlier). However, last year, I learned that these foods were likely the cause of tendonitis that prevented me from walking for several months due to their high oxalate content (which, obviously, I am also unsure whether it is indeed the cause or not). �Another example, I stopped eating breakfast twenty years ago, despite numerous individuals insisting it was unhealthy because breakfast is presumed to be the most important meal of the day. However, my body simply does not crave food in the morning, so I continued this habit. Over the past two years, many people have praised me for not eating breakfast, saying, 'Wow, you're doing intermittent fasting, cool! So, is eating breakfast good or bad? It depends on when you are asking, while honestly, no one knows for sure.

Yes, I have opinions (thoughts), yet I hold them very lightly:
→ I have deep concerns about labeling someone as 'terrorists' (which is bad) and another as ‘army’ (which is fine). �Yet I also feel very scared about things the Hamas is doing and their ideology. While I have some thoughts, feelings, and intuitions, I have absolutely no clue what the right thing to do is.
→ I do extensively read and hear from a wide variety of sources about the decisions made by the Israeli government and army, and it often leaves me feeling sad and scared. I don't perceive it solely as protection. �However, truthfully, the news and information are so partial and biased, and I have little to no clue about what’s true and what the right course of action is.

So here is what I replied to her statements: "Hamas are not 'freedom fighters'; they are 'terrorists' as defined by all international laws, and dismissing this is dangerous," and "The Israeli Army has never attacked, only protected."� → I said: 'I guess it deeply worries you that if they are not named as 'terrorists,' it creates the space to accept such actions as those on the 7th of October, and generally, to accept anti-Semitism as being okay?'
She cried. She shared that she grew up with a father who spoke Arabic and had very good connections with Palestinians. She grew up with this image of connection between the nations, and the events of the 7th of October shattered her dream of peace. She cried again. She cried about how scary it is to witness certain actions against Jews today and the fear that antisemitism might grow and spread again.
�I was touched and felt tons of compassion. I am so happy I did not try to convince her. �I so value staying together in it.

And for those of you who are thinking now: ‘YES, but you cannot just stay silent and let people continue believing dangerous things!’�I breathe. It's tempting to revert to thinking that my job is to convince her to change her mind. Then again: I am not God, I sit with my own fears, I mourn (‘Mourning’ is the process of accepting reality as it is—to meet her as she is, rather than focusing on how to change her). And I want to cooperate also with people who think very differently from me. I want to stay together. I take another breath, grateful that I let her be herself and that I am contributing to the very quality of togetherness I want to live and create on this planet.

With much hope for cooperation at all levels of existence,

Yoram

Workshops Archive - Connecting2Life - The Art of Dialogue Please let us know which newsletters you would like to receive. We send a separate newsletter to each country to let you know we'll be coming to offer a workshop.