26/01/2026
Normalise saying 'no' as an answer.
Yesterday, one of my colleagues ran into the office crying tears of joy, saying, “Is it okay to say no? I just did, and I feel so good!”
She had been given a workload far beyond what was stated in her contract, with no additional pay. She had been grumbling about it in the office, and after hearing her out, other members of staff encouraged her to approach management and politely refuse the offer, while clearly referencing her contract.
She was reluctant at first, but after consistent nudging, she finally went. And guess what? Management understood and withdrew the overwhelming offer.
Moments like this remind us that the way we are raised can affect us as adults—sometimes negatively. Not only at home, but in our wider society (schools, churches, and other institutions), many of us were conditioned to obey instructions without questioning them. We were taught that saying “no” is rude, defiant, or disrespectful.
The truth is this: if children are not allowed to feel comfortable saying no—if a child’s no is not normalised—we risk raising adults who cannot stand up for themselves. Such adults will later have to consciously reparent and retrain themselves, or else become easy prey in personal, professional, and societal spaces.
Let us be more intentional as parents, teachers, and child custodians. Let us teach children that no is a complete sentence—while also guiding them to express it respectfully and confidently. When children learn that their voices matter, we raise adults who can set healthy boundaries, advocate for themselves, and still remain respectful. Normalising “no” today is an investment in stronger, safer, and more confident adults tomorrow.
I remain your phenomenal teacher
Violet Timi Atey Ojiabo
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