Coconut Spectrum Educational Consult

To our budding young ladies...

Sometimes, belonging, being a part of "the rocking, trending crew" takes a person totally off the path that they need to be on to evolve into that person they have chosen to be.

Having the need to wear bum shorts and mini skirts, with or without leggings, dropping their clothing bit by bit, is to show that one too is there, that they too got great legs, good butt...

All for what? To what avail?
What would be the function of that?

Is one's self-set goal to be amongst the best body babes in the environment? Or to save lives by helping Young ones be comfortable in their skin? Or is it to teach them how to fit in and be among?

And if one achieved one's set goals up there, have they ever given thought to this:

What if your Lord called back your soul when you are in that state? Is that really how you would want to go? But we know it's very possible.

So always think, and think and think again.

Once one is an an adult (some say that's at 16), only them will be held accountable for their actions, conducts or otherwise.

Ask yourself, what does it profit a man if he gained the world but lost his soul? Likewise, what could it ever profit one, if they gained all the trending popularity and money that flows with it, but lost their hereafter?

Would it ever be worth it?

Be wise. Be very wise.

And have a super day!

What is your child hearing about morals and values?

Who is your child hearing about morals and values from?

What are the morals and values of who your child is hearing about morals and values from?

What exactly is your child hearing of the morals and values they are hearing?

Whose duty is it to teach your child morals and values?

Chat with me.



“no copyright infringement is intended” to picture

That Child Needs More Than Words

When your child is scared and they share with you, are you one of those adults who say: "Don't worry", "God forbid!" Perhaps yours is "Allaah won't let it happen!" or "you are the child of God, nothing evil will happen to you!"

It is true that God is all powerful and able; you and I may know that. Question is, is your young child 4, 6, 9, 10, even 12-year old child able to comprehend that? In this present world of seeing is believing, where everything is on show such that it leaves very little to the imagination, should you truly expect those statements to make any sense to a child?!

Remember that God is in the abstract, you haven't ever seen or touched Him. Recall also that you must have struggled before you got to a point where you started to agree that He does exist! And even now, I bet there are times when you still wonder about His existence. And that is you, with all your experiences, and those of people close to you. How much more a child, who still believes in the existence of Santa Claus, unicorns and Cinderella...

The next time a child shares their fears with you, do more than making a statement; go the extra mile of allaying their fears with concepts they can readily bring to mind. Listen to them, acknowledge their fears, and share steps to overcome the perceived dangers.

That way, you will be empowering them to navigate doubts, fears and dangers for the rest of their lives.

Remember, no fear is too winsy to leave unsorted, just like no mosquito is too tiny to go to bed with.

Steady steps...
Doyinsola

Build Trust
Listen...
Focused, Voluntary, Intentional

Do you want to achieve raising kind, successful, intelligent, God-fearing and independent children but are frustrated by your child(ren)'s level of individuality and dogged determination towards their own choices?

Maybe you have tried talking to, and reasoning with your child(ren). You may have tried wielding the big stick approach, or even deprived them of certain things, all in a bid to get them to 'conform'. Perhaps you went as far as getting several like-minded people to try to talk some 'sense' into your child(ren) to no avail?

Maybe you have even begun to worry that you’ll end up with child(ren) who, having ignored the values of years passed down from generations in your family, end up with a set of displeasing values. Don’t worry, here in this write-up, I’m going to show you a way out.

Let me start by explaining why your approaches have not worked so well.

First of all, it is hard to succeed at trying to reason your position out with someone who is generations apart from you and as a result, is unable to even conceive the pictures you may paint. Wielding the big stick and depriving children of certain things tend to have the same effect; both create further misunderstanding and feelings of injustice leading them to become outright defiance, which is even more detrimental.
I am sure that now that you're paying attention, you can see the likely negative effects of getting other adults to talk to your child(ren), can you?

Fret no more! There is a better approach that will get you better results.

I introduce to you, the Family Values System Crafting.
This is an exercise, that creates an opportunity for members of your family to not only learn the personal values of every other member but to come together to discuss about and vote upon which will be the set of core values for your family. The selected values will be universal and be upheld by every member, irrespective of their personal values.

The FVS exercise helps members learn more about everyone in their family and understand what makes each do what they do and why. It promotes family time. It also encourages unity of purpose and promotes an assuredness of understanding goals the family wishes to achieve and be known for. The FVS exercise helps put everyone on the same page.

The transformations with the families that have participated in building their Family Values System have been phenomenal and yours can be just as phenomenal, if not more.

Was this useful? If it was, please go ahead and send me a comment to let me know how useful this was for you, and I look forward to being a part of your success story.

Regards,
Doyinsola
Behaviour Analyst
Master NLP Practitioner
Educational Consultant
+234 905 728 4583
[email protected]

The Mumu Don Do!

Who is your role model? Better still, who is your child's role model? How did you pick your child's role model?

I remember years ago, around 2007, our young daughters were inundated with everything Hannah Montana. It was so rife, my sensiblity was offended so I advised parents against getting on the bandwagon.

A few years down the line, dear 'role model', Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus went south.

Oftentimes, parents themselves set up the stage (complete with gilded stairs) for your golden youngsters to fail. Or how can you explain flooding children with clothes, shoes, socks, bags, bottles, bowls, wristwatches, beddings, nightwear, furniture books, cups and plate, spoons and more, all themed upon an individual about whom little is known of their personal existence?

For all we know, there are probably several parents who have been on their young to emulate certain 'successful' people, such as he who is undeserving of the honour of being a 30 under 30.

What absolutely vexes me is the ignorance displayed by the parents who promote the idolation, not knowing a single thing about the 'idol' or even about the role(s) the 'idol' plays. Rather, they join the band wagon to give their children what others are giving to theirs, in order to 'keep up with, or better still, show that they are placed higher than the Joneses.

Enough of the blind copycat syndrome! From here onwards, adults need to learn who a role model is as well as how to pick one, and this starts with identifying your own personal values. There is a great need for you to be mindful that no one person is perfect, particularly in these days of heightened vices. As such, a better approach may be to identify the trait worthy of emulation, modelling in any individual and focus on that aspect only.

Personally, I believe that the persons best worthy of being 'role models' are individuals who have proven themselves and passed on upon great honour.

Remember, the values you inculcate in your children today will determine how they will value you in your feeble old age.

Life, they say, comes in seasons. And with each season is its own bag of tricks, wiles and tips. While the bag sometimes appears to be a burden that should be cast away, doing so may be doing the proverbial throwing the baby away with the bathwater.

While I was away, I had the honour of helping more families cultivate their values systems. They learnt about values, identified individual member's personal values, did some visualisation and had some roundtable table discussions at which every member was a sovereign entity so has equal voting rights...

At the end of the day, the different family values emerged. Being accountable was another journey all together and by the time they were done, the values had been internalised.

Now Families Titans, Springflower, Electrified and Goalgetters (😉 you know yourselves🤗) are ready to "...take on the world together", "...let the kids go knowing they know who they are...", and say "...these days, I spend less time out because home is where the fun is!" and "this is an exercise for very family to do, it lessens the friction between parents and their children...".

It was fun spending time with each family.😍🤗

Is your family next?🤩😎

Send me a dm now.😇

"Mummy, mummy! She snatched my colour pencil and when I asked for it back, she threw it at me and immediately grabbed my colouring sheet. Now she won't give it back!" cried my 6 year old about her younger sister.

In recent times, younger sister seems to have become quite bothersome. She has continuously done things in ways that appear to be designed to reel older sis off.

Could it be because older sis has a newly developed loved for colouring and wordsearch puzzles, both of which cause her to have her nose, hands and attention tucked in books and sheets, and to abandon their regular playing catch and throwing the ball to one-another? Perhaps it was the move from sitting together cuddled on the sofa watching their favourite cartoons together? Yet again, was it possible that older sis was beginning to keep things away from her younger sister, in a bid to keep her precious art safe?!

Whatever the real reason, one thing was obvious, younger sister was feeling deprived of big sis' attention and was doing the natural thing a child would do to get attention: anything!

A child would do anything to get the attention they crave, whether positive or negative. In fact, the more outrageous the act, the greater and more widespread the attention they get for it!

* Are you listening to your child's actions?
* Have you learnt the statements in their outrageous acts?
* Will you meet them halfway and walk them to clarity and affirmation or to further confusion and frustration?

Helping your child learn that they have choices with different consequences yields enabled individuals.

Children learn a lot of things as they grow and most of their actions are borne out of what they learnt and how they learnt.

What is your child learning?
Who is responsible for teaching your child?
Are you wiling to learn from your child's teachers?
Will you be happy to receive what your child has learnt?

!