02/10/2017
ON CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE AND MOLESTATION
I once taught a child that was r***d by her cousin. I know the shameless fellow because he was assigned the task of pickup after school. Talk about household wickedness. When I was informed by her parents of the act, I was traumatised for many weeks because as a pathological lover of children, I get affected in many ways by affairs surrounding children. This made me understand the plight of working class parents.
It is totally expected for parents and guardians to be concerned about what their children are engaged with after school. This concern has increased in percentage due to the fact that parents are prone to spend longer hours at work places and work load is now more demanding, than it was some few years back. Also, because of the economy state and high cost of living and maintenance both parent are likely to be 8am-6pm job holders. They also get stuck in traffic when coming back from work, that makes the mind and body wary and reduces alertness. Children are left for longer periods at school or taken home to stay with house keepers/helps, family members pitching to help or even by their selves.
Subsequently, kids are prone to sexual assaults and mo**station, because of lack of appropriate Guidance and vulnerability. Trusted family members have been statically proven to be the main perpetrators of sexual abuse, this is because of their title as 'uncles and 'aunties' they have easy access to the children and their constant presence fueled with threats can discourage the child to speak up. Molestation and abuse is significantly lower in but present in schools and the abuser can be a teacher or peer.
What can be done to curb this ugly menace?
1) TEACH THEM YOUNG:
Do not hesitate to tell your kids about inappropriate touches. Whenever I teach the kids in my class about mo**station, i classify the body parts inappropriate to touch by strangers and relations as 'Red Danger Zones'. This way I have attributed colour and mental calculation to the deal. Teach them the actual names of body parts once they clock 3 years. Don't be shy and resistant. Remember you're your kids first teacher.
2) TEACH YOUR KIDS DEFENCE SKILLS / TACTICS AND CODE LANGUAGE:
Tell them its ok to shout, kick and fight when they are being pressured into mo**station. For the timid kids teach code languages to convey information when uncomfortable. You and the kids can personalize your own code. It could be rapidly blinking of the eyes or scratching the head for an agreed number of times. Find what works for you and the kids and stick to it.
3) BE VIGILANT:
A once vibrant, quick to laugh/smile and active child becomes withdrawn and quiet, only talking when spoken to in halting, tearful and whispering tones. A child that was fine before you left home is limping and walking awkwardly with difficulties when you got back. A child that suddenly likes stroking and touching his/her or others private parts. A child that cries and clings to you when ever being taken to school or being left at home especially when the child is past the age of separation anxiety (8mnts - 24mnts). A family member/stranger that suddenly becomes too touchy, quick to give treats, hugs and kisses to the child. The treats might be harmless but Watch out.
4) BE APPROACHABLE:
Choose to be respected than feared. Be your kids companion and friend. Be open to any discussion and topic broached. Try to decode emotions surrounding questions, remember the kid might be facing threats from the abuser and might not want to fully talk. Eg: The child may say 'I hate uncle/aunty xyz' .Make sure your first approach is to find out why, before admonishing the child or preaching love and peace. Your tone and actions matter a lot.
The need for watchfulness and observation for children safety cannot be over emphasized. As an educator of 9years, I have seen how negligence can cause negativity, low self-esteem and learning instability in a child's life. You cannot be omnipresent but, make sure you take protective measures, to insure a happy and mo**st free childhood memories for your kids.
Selah.
Written by the admin. Share with reference.
