Naas Educators

How would you handle this as a parent?
Would you tell her please, thereby building in her an expectation of respect, even from elders?

Or would you dismiss her and force her to bring it, nurturing in her the idea that elders do not need to be respectful towards younger ones?

©Naas Educators

Firm parenting, not harsh parenting.



What's the key to raising obedient kids?"

IS YOUR CHILD ONE OF THOSE "BAD" KIDS TOO?

What is most beautiful is that when you spend quality time with your children (Again, not lectures. There should be lectures and serious talk time separate from fun time), you actually enjoy a more stable and happy life. That stress you claim is presenting you from having fun with them will actually reduce or vanish if you return home everyday and your kids are rushing to you, happy, smiling, and fighting to talk to you.

Fathers Are Most Often Guilty Of Neglectful Parenting

I once went out with a father on a business trip. When we were coming back in the evening, he told me he needed topick his son up from school so we drove there. On arriving, he signalled to a teacher who went in to call the child.

When the child who was about 8 came, he jumped into the SUV, said Tasleem, and we began the drive home. There was not a single exchange of words through the rest of the journey. And no, it was not like I and the father were talking, we were all just silent.

Of course, we cannot judge a parent just based on an isolated incident like that, however, it is still not a desirable act to pick your child from school and there was not a single word exchanged between you two. No “How did school go today?” “What eventually happened to the kid you told me about yesterday?”.

It is through small talks like these that you get to build, guide and mold your child before the tide of external influence sweeps him away.

When you listen often to your child, you will pick the problems and dangers out quickly before they become more serious, but most parents remain oblivious until the influence becomes vivid - and often, it is already too late to correct then.

Most people in pur society feel that fathers have more than enough to do already: sweating, toiling, traveling just to feed the family; therefore, the work of bonding is solely on the mothers.

This idea is not right at all.

The role of a father’s bond with a child is unique and necessary irrespective of how much bond the child shares with the mother

It is possible that kids, especially boys, who share very great bonds with their mother could still deviate from the mother’s path (religiously while loving and respecting her. It is however very unlikely that a son who shares a good connection with his father and looks up to him will follow a different path.

Also, the presence and bond of a father has been proven to massively reduce the risk of a child taking to risky and dangerous behaviours.

Yes, fathers have a lot to deal with and they must be praised for their efforts and not have it overlooked, however, their presence is much needed and - surprisingly - it does not take as much effort or time as one would think.

In the next writing we will give clear details on how to bond better as a father without stressing yourself out.

Share your thoughts or/and experience about Father-child bonding with us in the comments section

©Naas Educators

Most Of Us Are Neglectful Parents Without Knowing(2)

4. Disinterest or Detachment

When the parent responds to child with irritation or indifference, avoids deep/personal conversations or acts like the child is a burden, this is very often a sign of neglect.

5. Minimal Supervision And Guidance

When the parent doesn’t monitor where the child goes or who they’re with, leaves young children alone for long periods, and does not take an interest in guiding them whether with struggles or to become better, this is most often a sign of neglect.

For example, when a child struggles with memorization, and the parent never sits the child down to help with practical tips to memorize better or even attempt to understand what’s wrong, it’s often a sign of neglect.

Authoritarian parents who resort to beating whenever their kids have such struggles are in reality not just authoritarian, they are also neglectful. Such child will be prone to hiding their struggles rather than seeking help from their parent.

*7. Basic Needs Often Ignored*

When there is inconsistent or inadequate food, clothing, or hygiene or health problems go untreated, it is often a sign of neglect.

This might sound strange, but I have heard a teenage girl say one of the reasons she liked a male teacher was that he would ask about her illness even weeks after she recovers.

*Dangers Of Neglectful Parenting*

Children _need_ attention — and if they don’t get it from you, they’ll get it from somewhere else.

Sometimes, that "somewhere else" might be a kind teacher or relative.

But often, it’s from places, people, or habits that will harm them in the long run.

All it might take is a teacher asking, “How are you feeling today?” for the child to emotionally cling to them — simply because they don’t get that at home.

Neglected children are more likely to suffer from:

Low self-esteem

Depression or anxiety

Difficulty forming healthy relationships

Lack of confidence.

So, neglect isn’t just about refusing to feed or clothe your child.

It’s also about emotional coldness, disinterest, absence, and the failure to nurture, guide, or connect.

©Naas Educators

Most Of Us Are Neglectful Parents Without Knowing

After our last writing, many parents admitted to being authoritarian sometimes. Most felt they were authoritative, and a few even admitted to being permissive.

But in all of this, almost no parent saw themselves as neglectful — and that’s where the danger lies.

Neglectful parenting is actually practiced by many parents unknowingly.

Most parents — especially those with authoritarian or permissive tendencies — end up being neglectful in certain areas of their child’s life without realizing it.

So in today’s writing, we list some traits that often signals of neglectful parenting.

1. No Structure or Routines In The Family

When there is no structure or routines in the home, it is likely a sign of neglectful parenting. There’s no set time for family bonding, no fixed reading time, no predictable rhythm to the day. Everyone just does their own thing.

This does not have to be set in stone, so it is enough if you just have little islamic talks after Fajr or spend time together after isha talking and ‘gisting’ even if it is not written in a timetable.

It when nothing like this exists, there is a high possibility of the kids growing apart from the parents, and even from each other.

When there is a structure built for and around the kids, it sends them the message that they are important and their parents care about them.

2. Emotional Neglect
When the parent rarely shows affection or love, doesn’t notice or respond to child’s emotional needs, and fails to build a bond or connection with the child, this is very often a sign of neglectful parenting.

When a child is neglected emotionally, the child becomes vulnerable to outsiders who show the slightest sign of concern for them.

They also do not share that bond that makes them run to their parents to talk when they have struggles or difficulties, and this means they will run to others.

3. Lack of Involvement
When the parent is unaware of the child’s performance or interests, and does not know what the child thrives at or what he struggles with, it is most likely a sign of neglectful parenting.

I have seen a case where a parent was stunned when outsiders praised his kids for being so good at a particular thing. The parent never even had an inkling that his kids had any flair for that thing, and they had been doing it for over 3 years.

Part of the dangers of this is that the parent might have a wrong perception of their child. They may think of the child as “dull” because the child struggles in school, meanwhile, the child thrives brilliantly at something else.

When the parents shows continuous feeling that the child is dull, the child may eventually lose all their confidence and stop even that thing they thrive at and become a complete wreck. That’s how a lot of people who lack self-esteem are born.

To be continued tomorrow, inshaa'Allah.

©Naas Educators

The Different Types of Parenting

1. Gentle/Permissive Parenting

2. Neglectful Parenting

3. Authoritative Parenting

4. Authoritarian Parenting

Question

What kind of parent do you think you currently are? (You can be a mixture of more than one) and what kind of parenting do you think is most healthy?

A Framework For Responding To Children’s Accidents

If your child injures himself after you had warned him, how do you react? If your son injures his younger one while playing rough, how do you react?

*What Exactly Does Naas Preach? (1)*

Many outsiders believe that Naas is all about preaching against beating or discipline, but in reality, these are the least of our concerns.

If you truly understand what Naas teaches about parenting, you will realize that our approach makes you a more disciplined parent—one who does not let their child get away with wrongdoing but corrects them in a way that builds them up, not breaks them down.

These 7 points below summarize the reality of our teachings.

*1. We Preach the Necessity of Being Deeply Connected with Your Children*

*2. We Preach Prioritizing Your Child’s Learning Over Other Things*

*3. We Preach Being Open to Learning Rather Than Simply Repeating What Our Parents Did*


*4. We Preach Prioritizing the Deen for Your Child*

*5. We Preach Prioritizing Your Own Health*

*6. We Preach Coaching Over Controlling*

*7. We Preach Raising Children with Strong Character and Emotional Intelligence*

Educators