Tosin Ogungbenro

Being a man comes with its own unique battles.

As I began to grow, I realized something sobering — that at his core, a man is an endangered species… especially one who lacks self-awareness.

There are things within you… your ego, your hunger/longings, your insecurities that can be weaponized against you… and the crazy part is, you won’t even know they’re being used.

People will press your buttons, and you’ll dance to the tune unaware they’re even pressing anything.

That’s why humility and self-awareness aren’t luxury traits, they are survival tools. The ability to pause and ask: “Why did that trigger me?” is gold.

Many good men have fallen… not because they were bad… but because something in them was unconsciously exploited.

Some men have married women they had no business marrying all because they didn’t know what was driving them. Childhood wounds. Unmet needs. The ache for validation. It's real.

Worse still? A man who has money but lacks self-awareness is a ticking time bomb.

All it takes is for someone to whisper to the wounded little boy in him, the one who didn’t feel seen, loved, or good enough… and suddenly he starts making decisions that ruin everything he’s built.

I thank God I realized early that therapy is not a scam. 😅

You need to sit with yourself. Reconcile your story. Get honest about your triggers.

And to parents raising boys:
Stop saying, “Don’t you know you’re a boy?” or “Man up.” That’s not strength, that’s suppression.

When a boy cries, let him cry. That’s one of the earliest forms of emotional expression. Teach him to feel, not just to perform.

Don’t shame him for failing a test or struggling with emotions. Struggles are not weakness, they are the path to growth, especially if he’s willing to do the work.

Raise whole men, not just hard men.

ғɪɴᴅɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴜʀᴘᴏsᴇ

The first step to finding your purpose is you must be curious about knowing the purpose of things around you.

For instance, have you asked yourself what is the purpose of your mind, mouth, hands from God's perspective?

Purpose is anything God calls a thing, the sole concept of purpose originates from God. God created everything for His own pleasure, so without God there will be no such thing as purpose.

The second step, you must understand that you are not a biological accident, no matter the mistake or lack of intentions that surrounded your birth.

It doesn't change any fact that you originated from God and God can still use the circumstances of your birth to His own glory in your life.

Because you originated from God, no one else is qualified to tell you what your purpose is except God, so you must be ready and willing to pay the price to press into the main reason God ordered your spirit to the earth.

The moment you begin to walk in the paths of your purpose, that's when you began to live.

Every decision of your life should flow from the revelation of your purpose; friends, spouse, job, church, location.

Ogunbenro Tosin.

ᴄᴏᴜʀᴀɢᴇ ɪs ᴋɪɴɢ

Without courage, you won't dare to do many achievable things in life. You will live a life terrified by fear.

When I woke up this morning, this thought came to me and I took some minutes to meditate on it.

It takes courage to defy the odds

It takes courage to do things they have told you, you can never achieve.

It takes courage to rise and keep moving on after you have fallen.

It takes courage not to allow yourself to be defined by your past.

It takes courage to make a difference in your life.

Courage is principal and courage is 👑

It takes courage to ask the right questions, it takes courage to seek the hidden answers of life.

It takes courage to achieve what no one thought possible, it takes courage to go places no one has ever gone.

It takes courage to dream big

It takes courage to think anything good can come out of Nigeria.

Life needs you to win but you can't even fight without courage.

Ogungbenro Tosin.

ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴀ sᴛᴏʀʏ ᴏғ ғᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴇɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴊᴀɪʟᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴀᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀ ғᴏʀ ᴀ ᴄʀɪᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴍɪᴛ

Recently, while meditating in my room, a story I read in Havard Business Review some months ago slipped into my mind.

Four men were jailed for 8 years for a crime they didn't commit, but only one man survived.

On the day the survivor was released, reporters asked him a question and he gave an unconventional response.

‘Your friends died, but you survived. How did you do it?’

He gave a sharp response, ‘hope killed them’

He paused for some minutes to allow the shock on the reporter’s face to wane before he continued.

‘They were jailed for a crime they didn’t commit, they were hoping every day of their lives in prison that they were going to be vindicated.’

He took a deep breath before he said this

‘When that vindication didn’t come on time, their heart got sick, their hope failed and they started dying

The man who survived said he made up his mind from the very first day in the cell that he was going to wait for as long as it takes even if it means he doing 8 years in jail for a crime he didn't commit.

At the end of the day, he was the only one that survived while others died.

Have a long-term approach to the stuff you are looking for in life - it might come sooner and it might come later, but you will survive at the end of the day.

What did you learn? Share it with me.

Ogungbenro Tosin.