Favour Chidindu Nwachukwu

John is not a real name. He is my friend - a brilliant and diligent individual who left professors in awe with his intelligence. Armed with a book and pen, he devoured course materials, formed meticulous notes, and tackled complex statistics independently.

Describing John as a genius is an understatement; he's a colossal prodigy. In 2021, he graduated with a 2.1 degree, unsatisfied as his CGPA fell short of 4.5. Fate seemed to settle for him, with envy from lecturers contributing to his 2.1 instead of the first-class honour he deserved.

John's story isn't entirely unique; many face obstacles like missing scripts, underrated points, and a quest to keep "the tradition".

Every parent's dream is to witness their children succeed, ensuring that their efforts yield meaningful results. When our little efforts do not count, we may go ahead to question the feasibility of launching into the deep where a system has been designed to cause frustration.

Few months ago, John has graduated from Teesside University, one of the prestigious universities in the UK, with a distinction in MSc Public Health. Tears welled in his eyes as he was announced the best graduating student in his department and the entire university. This was the recognition he truly deserved during his undergraduate years, but the system unjustly denied him that honour. It was a painful situation, but like everyone else, what could he have done?

A stitch in time, they say, saves nine. Unlike John, starting off on the wrong foot could lead to more damage than one can imagine. You might be relegated to a third-class degree, grappling with depression due to low grades, or facing age-related challenges due to frequent strikes by academic and labour unions.

Start planning your study abroad journey and alleviate unnecessary worries. Contact GRINLIFE Education today for a free counsellor. Send me a message.

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Amanda: Uncle, when are you getting married?

Me: (Surprised) Why do you want me to get married?

Amanda: I want you to start having children. I want to carry them.

Me: (Concurs) Yea, that's true. But, I'm still searching for the right person...

Amanda: Come to my church, there are plenty fine girls.

Me: (Laughs) Which one of them do you want me to marry?

Amanda: I don't even know, just choose anyone.

Me: Okay naa, I will think about it.

Amanda: Okay. Uncle, today's my birthday, where is my gift?

Me: What do you want?

Amanda: I've told you before naa, I want NECKLACE.

Me: Oh. Ok. I will buy it for you. (Rushes out and bought a beautiful necklace for her)

Amanda: Uncle, thank you so much, I'm waiting for Uncle Prosper to buy my gift. And he said he will buy it.

Lol.

I know you won't believe she was concerned about me getting married, I didn't believe it too. Goes to tell us how much these children know and how far their thoughts go than we may ever imagine.

Meanwhile, I'm preparing to go to Amanda's church tomorrow, maybe, just maybe, a fine sister will smile at me, and we would be able to give Amanda the cousins she has asked for.

Today's her birthday. Happy 6th birthday, my baby girl.

©️ Favour Chidindu Nwachukwu

When men are saying there's a casting down, that's when we raise our voices to shout "There's a lifting up!"

Regardless, we Thrive...

Happy Last Sunday of the Month.

No gree for anybody…

I have been ruminating over the life of Amarachi, the young lady who just took her own life. Of course taking one’s own life isn’t something people wake up and do. It’s a prognostic choice that reflects one’s daily life, routine and indulgence.

Apart from what the media presented, which remains the surface of the incidence as has happened, I have been very privileged to have a brief insider clue on the life and times of Amarachi.

I wouldn’t be able to divulge information on her personhood or talk about certain peculiarities surrounding her sad end, then again, it’s important to that I outline a few things that would be helpful for we that are still here.

1. Always protect your mental health: It is very much established that the average Nigerian has been toughened by one or two dastardly acts of either the government or the hoodlums in the society. I’m sorry I mentioned the government twice.

In as much as we think we are thick-skinned or so we are, we must also understand that as individuals, there are thresholds for our toughness; our mental/physical health. The avoidance of happiness-depriving stimuli, situations and or words could be the beginning of a healthy lifestyle, you know? Go to a psychiatrist, visit a therapist or a good counsellor if there are symptoms that indicate anomaly. No gree mek person steal your happiness: Protect your mental health at all cost!

2. Pray: I am one of the many persons to advise we should tell people our problems and have them rally around and help. But after many years of living here, I have discovered that it’s not always true that when you discuss your issues with “men” they get solved.
In fact, at some point, they get propagated, aggravated and escalated. It is never so when you pray strategically. Men will always be the “rescuer”, but divinity is the convener of rescuers.

3. Judge Not: I used to condemn people who go as far as taking their own lives, very well. But even though now I do not eulogize this act, I know better.

If you have had an iota of depression or what it feels like, you will always know the difference between khaki and leather. Su1cide is not an option at all, but in any case that it has occurred, make no mistake to publicly judge the deceased because it’s only he who wears the shoes that knows the exact point of pain. Let empathy reflect in your everyday life.

4. Never take your own life: Life is fickle, we know. It is an established fact we all must lose it one day, after all. Whether by hook or by crook, que sera sera (what must be must be).

It is also not balanced, it’s a crooked system that tilts to whichever direction it pleases, favouring and disfavouring its subjects without merciful adjudication. However, we must first of all live for ourselves - if that’s what makes the most sense.

You just have to live it, gamble it, push it, no matter how hard it gets; the worst is death, which is what you have already conquered.

Again, our friends, family, colleagues, all need us around, and having lost a loved one, I tell you the truth, the pain is greater for the living.

It’s a pity we lost her at a very young age. At some point, she was somebody’s wife, friend, colleague, acquaintance, girlfriend, housemate, coursemate, etc, now that she’s no more, life continues with the living. Everyone will move on and I wouldn’t say it doesn’t change anything because certain shifts and happenings cause great changes in people’s perceptions, and this and many others have triggered emotions and decisions, yet in comparison to a wider spectrum, it remains an insignificant part of the society that one person is no more alive.

Why not stay and try to make that change until you’re no longer naturally and voluntarily able to stay?

If you’re religiously aware, su1cide is a sin. If you’re an atheist, it’s a crime against the nation, Nigeria for instance. One thing I sure know is that su1cide is a “borrowed will” that supersedes a person’s innate will to continue living - the death instinct, and for sure, it’s a spirit!

So, nwanne, no gree for anybody. Not even the Borrowed will.

Happy New Year.

From the desk 🖊️ of the realist
©️Favour Chidindu Nwachukwu

Hello

Tales by Moonlight!

Who still tells tales by moonlight? Not even the adults or the kids. Yes, bedtime stories and siblings have we inherited from the western culture. Quite cool and beautiful that another man's culture thrills us more than ours. They're not quite archaic. They are civil and great that we so get enslaved by them.

I could remember those days we’d gather in front of the compound taking turns to tell tales. As kids, we were so good at tales that we often get emotional telling them. There were great lessons to learn after all. There were warnings to desist from evil and to shun vices. Then was also a moment of bonding with siblings, cousins, friends and next-door neighbours. The tortoise, interestingly, was always at the hem of affairs in all our tales. Where he was good, there were rewards, and the many times he was bad, there were dire consequences.

The stories kind of resonated with all of us. It always felt as if we were watching a cinema. The emotions were real. The fear, joy, sadness, empathy, compassion, pity, anger all came in handy at right times and in their right proportions.

Tales permeated into our beings moulding our behaviour into what it should be like. “Remember what happened to the tortoise when he told the king a lie...”
That's my mind telling me not to tell a lie. We got that always and we lived by it.

It's all different today. Tale’s been replaced by mobile phones, tablets, funny cartoons, video games and stuff. It's all good. I get it. This whole change is acceptable, but what is not acceptable is the decadence in moral values that came with it.
The values that made us who we are- respectful, ingenious, salient, unique, and enviable. They're all giving way for globalization and the acceptability of all mannerisms. Unavoidably, there's the sad truth about westernisation. The “I-don't-give-a-damn” and “to-h£ll-with-your-opinion” mindset has fully crept in, and it's developing into what we don't know. Full-blown m@dness!

People identify as a lot of things these days. The westerners do it. Why not? One day, rats and cows will seat on an African throne claiming to be president. Just one day. I pray we seek redress soon. This write-up is more about reality than tales. More about life than race. If you'd live by the principles of morality, I bet you, you've found the whole truth!

©️ Favour Chidindu Nwachukwu

OPEN MINDEDNESS

Understanding is the basis for knowledge. Without the understanding of a given concept, phenomenon or scenario, one can be tied in ignorance (oblivious of the fact that they are ignorant).

I'm not a fan of religion, Christ wasn't. Why would I? Why would anyone who profess Christ dive in to the deeps of religion.

A religious man is a man in captive. A prisoner of his own self.

A free man is not religious. He’s open minded. Free to explore new things (without prejudice and recklessness) and understand them.

Open mindedness let’s you see everything with a clear spectacle void of skewed beliefs, rules and favouritism. Openness clears the mind from the dust and rubbles of greed, envy, hypocrisy and callousness concealed in religion. Yes, take the Pharisees and Sadducees for instance. Even though they were leaders of the church, they were blind to the truth of what they profess. Religion is a niche man actually carved out for himself as a mechanism to achieving atonement and subjugation. It's a classified effort to remain relevant, unnecessarily. Not knowing it's bo***ge.

Freedom comes to you, when you’ve carved out your life from what it used to be, from that judgemental person, pessimistic, fanatic and biased to an open-minded and optimistic personality.

That feeling of freedom is what you should try (if you’re not already basking in that freedom).

Life is not hard. Christianity is not a bo***ge. Don’t make it look like one. The true Christian is open minded. Christ was. He ate with the “unbelievers”. His feet was cleaned with costly ointment and with the hair of a lady. Imagine that scenario in today's society. They would've tagged him a lot.

Open mindedness is bliss. Freedom is bliss.

©️ Favour Chidindu Nwachukwu

I've just reached 200 followers! Thank you for continuing support. I could never have made it without each and every one of you. 🙏🤗🎉😁