17/04/2020
DAY ONE
So why should we set goals, seek changes and re-equip our kids anyway?
We are all stuck at home and some of us who do not have live in cleaners have had our hands full. Now the deal breaker here is, we have kids who are old enough to make our lives easier but they do not, because they have not been taught how to. You can choose to re-calibrate.
WHY
A friend’s daughter recently moved abroad for school in higher institution. She has had to be with guardians during this lock down and I could not help but think of how happy her hosts will be to have her around as she can cook and clean and is also very respectful. “The Perfect guest” Ever had a guest who was so helpful around you wished they could stay longer? Are you preparing your kid to live with you always or to go out and conquer the world?
INCENTIVES
They are all around us. I listened to an insightful share today about creating structure. Unfortunately, the broadcaster did not tell her name but she shared how schools manage our kids using structure. They apportion time and duration for virtually everything. Even as adults, our work places are structured (when to come to work, go on break e.t.c) so goals are achieved. Once you have created goals you can create privileges from some things the kids take for granted. Like what you ask?
1. WATCHING TELEVISION – There are several studies that show kids have problems concentrating when they watch television excessively besides getting addicted to it. Why not fill up the hours with other fun & engaging activities that help them build useful skills. Meanwhile, you can peg TV time at no more than 3 hours a day. You can offer an extra hour to be earned. So, for instance, anyone who is bathed and has finished their chores by 10 am earns an extra hour of TV.
2. CHORES – You can set up a system where a child earns time off a chore or is off chores for a whole day for achieving a goal.
3. BEDTIME- Do the kids have a bedtime? Remember structure? Holiday structure will keep you sane too. If they don’t have a bedtime, institute one. With older children, it can be discussed. You can offer one hour after bedtime as an incentive or a reward for a goal that is met.
4. EXTRA ELECTRONICS TIME- So instead of playing games all day, why not get them to read a story book, summarize one or do something else. Kids can earn an extra 30 mins to 1 hour of games on their devices for meeting agreed goals.
5. PRAISE- That’s one incentive that some parents never use or use sparingly. Why do think schools use it for especially your kids. Remember how you used to feel when they say “clap for her”? Give that to your kids and watch them give you more.
As you try to create privileges around these areas, remember you will also be achieving structure. Tomorrow we will talk about another set of tips so don’t forget to check this space and it would be nice to hear from you about what worked for you.
