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Happy Easter to you all

Good news. Program update
Keep a date with us 28 February 2021
Special gathering for couples tagged " My Queen and I. It would be a refreshing moment. Time 3:PM

Some of the things I post here are studies and research from others and whenever I come across good ones like these ,I share it for others to learn also

I do a lot of studies and research on relationship and marriage, so don't blame me, it is my area of assignment.

Things You Should Not Force In A Relationship
Relationship TipsOct 19, 2020Read original



No matter how much you need to feel loved and appreciated, certain things aren't just meant to be forced.

Forcing things in a relationship makes it look unhealthy. If you have to be in a relationship, then everything needs to flow smoothly and you should never force these five things:

1. Spending time together

You don't have to beg your partner for his or her time. If they really want to spend their time with you, they will and if they don't want to then they won't be available for you. Forcing your partner to give you their time is not part of a healthy relationship.

2. Respect

You can not force your partner to respect you. Respect comes with love and this means if your partner claims to love you then respecting you should be part of the equation. True relationships must entail mutual respect. They have to see the value in you and your importance in their lives.

Dr Venessa Marie Perry, Founder and Chief Relationship Strategist at The Love Write tells Bustle. "Couples with genuine respect for each other treat and act in a manner that shows kindness, gentleness and understanding in all situations." If it doesn't feel like this comes naturally, your partner may not be the right one for you.

3. Intimacy and affection

Intimacy means being sensually close to each other. Affection means being fond of each other or rather liking each other. You can't force your partner to be intimate with you neither can you force them to have some affection for you. If they aren't interested, let them be.

Maria Lianos-Carbone, a relationship expert and author says emotional intimacy and affection are what sets a romantic relationship apart from a more platonic one.

Intimacy isn't something you can force, but rather something that you build over time through meaningful experiences and deep conversations. If you feel like your partner always has a wall up, you may have to work extra hard to have more intimacy in your relationship.

4. Laughter

Studies have found that laughter can benefit your relationship in amazing ways. Basically, couples who laugh together, stay together. As Jane Reardon, licensed therapist and co-founder of RxBreakup, tells Bustle, when you and your partner can spontaneously laugh together, this shows that you're both present and together in the moment. But if this often feels forced, take note of why that might be.

5. Shared Interest

"Oftentimes when people enter into a relationship, they feel like the other person should do all the things they enjoy doing," Perlstein says. "But in fact, a healthy relationship involves separation and both individuals maintaining their own unique sense of self."

So while it's nice to have things you both like in common, you don't need to force yourself to like every single thing your partner does and vice versa.

Healthy couples that are meant to know that it's OK to do your own thing every now and then. It makes their relationship a lot stronger.

I saw this write up and I felt it's worth sharing.

For Singles: How to Handle a Strong S*x Drive in a God-Honoring Way

With tears streaming down my face, I sat alone in my room. As a 22-year-old Christian single woman, I was battling against my flesh and the s*xual temptations in my mind…again. I wanted to be pure. I wanted to fight against the lust in my life. I wanted to honor God. But it felt too hard. It felt almost impossible.
I’ve been married now for six years, but I was single for 24 years prior to that. I remember all too well the unfulfilled s*xual desires that I had during that season of life. Moments of tears and struggle like the one above were normal for me. There were many times when I viewed my s*x drive as a curse. I wished my desires would just go away all together and then reappear when I got married.
I struggled with strong urges for s*xual fulfillment.
As much as I wanted to throw in the towel and ditch God’s plan for s*x, I decided to search God’s Word for hope and answers. Over time, God’s Word helped me understand that my s*xual desires weren’t a curse, but a blessing. His word also reminded me that He would give me the grace to handle my desires until marriage happened—if it happened (2 Corinthians 12:9).
If you’re single right now, your s*x drive might feel like a curse to you as well. I want to share with you some of the things that helped me handle my s*xual desires as a single woman, and I hope they’re encouraging to you as well.
Related: More than Single–Finding Purpose Beyond P**n

1. Understand God’s Design for S*x

God created s*x and it’s a beautiful thing within the covenant of marriage. God also created us to be s*xual beings with desires and longings for s*xual intimacy. We are s*xual beings from the moment we’re born. We don’t become s*xual beings once we get marriage. However, God’s design for s*x is good and beautiful only when enjoyed in the right context.
Healthy s*xual desires are not wrong or sinful. They’re actually 100% normal. It’s normal for you, as a single person, to look forward to and be excited about enjoying God’s gifts of s*xual intimacy within marriage. However, these good desires can quickly become sinful if we turn them into lust, or use them with the wrong person at the wrong time.
God created s*x to be a binding force between a husband and wife to unite them as one in marriage (Mark 10:8).
This covenantal seal also comes with intentional blessings such as physical pleasure and the opportunity to bring new life into the world.
As Christians, we must have a strong understanding of God’s holy design for s*x if we’re going to handle our own s*xual desires in the right way. I encourage you to another post I wrote called “Why I Chose to Save S*x for Marriage” to help you build a strong biblical foundation.

2. Prepare for Battle

As a single person, your s*xual desires may be a normal part of God’s design, but they can also be the largest area for temptation. The battle for purity is real, and it’s an intense one. We live in a culture that has totally perverted God’s design for s*x and pressures us to “join in on the fun.”
Yes, the world tries to lure us into its perversion, but the battle for purity begins within the walls of our heart. James 1:14 says, “But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust.”
Our heart is sinful and is constantly trying to carry us away and entice us towards lust.
We need to recognize our own bent towards s*xual sin and prepare ourselves for this battle. We won’t win unless we’re proactively striving after holiness, purity, and a passion for God’s glory.
Related: The Best Way to Block P**n (It Isn’t What You Think)
The best place to start is by spending time worshipping the true and living God every day. Get in His word and allow His truth to transform your thinking. Pray every morning (and throughout the day) asking God to help you love His holiness more than you love yourself. Don’t let the battle of s*xual temptation take you by surprise.

3. Make the Choice to Fight or Flee

As you live your daily life in the sinful world, you will undoubtedly come face-to-face with s*xual temptation. For example, you might be innocently shopping for something online when a sensual ad pops up. You didn’t seek it out. You weren’t even looking for it. But there it is.
Or you may be simply trying to fall asleep one night when your mind is suddenly bombarded with s*xual thoughts. You’re instantly tempted to dwell on these thoughts in your mind.
S*xual temptation comes in all shapes and sizes and it often doesn’t give us a lot of warning.
When s*xual temptations hits you have two options. You can either (A) Fight it, or (B) Flee from it.
A: Fight it. Fighting it needs to happen when you can’t physically get away from it.
You can’t physically escape a s*xual thought in your head, so you need to choose to fight against it. You can’t escape driving through a city with s*xualized billboards, but you can choose to fight it by not looking at them.
God will help you fight your temptations–you are not alone.
1 Cor. 10:13 offers us that powerful promise: “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”
B. Flee from it. The next best way to fight it is to simply flee from it.
This is a great option! This looks like you physically removing yourself from the temptation. If a movie turns south, turn it off. Don’t keep watching it. If your friends start talking about inappropriate things, leave the conversation. If that phone app is tempting you towards lust, get rid of it.
Don’t wait around hoping to be “strong enough.” Get away from the temptation. 1 Cor. 6:18 says, “Flee from s*xual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the s*xually immoral person sins against his own body.”

4. Make Victory Easier

Fighting the battle of lust in our hearts is already hard enough without added temptation. I can’t encourage you enough to set yourself up for success by removing as much s*xual temptation from your life as possible. This means pitching s*xualized computer games, saying no to raunchy magazines like Cosmo, deleting impure or sensual phone apps, saying no to impure movies, turning off that sensual song, etc. You get the idea.
If you desire purity and holiness, you must battle for it. It doesn’t come naturally. Get rid of extra temptation and make victory easier to accomplish. Installing Screen Accountability through Covenant Eyes is always a great idea.
I pray those four points are helpful to you as you strive to handle your s*xual desires in a God-honoring way.
I know it’s hard. I know it’s a battle. But with God’s help, and strategic planning on your part, you can steer your s*xual desires in a God honoring direction.
God bless you as read and share with others too.

Kings and Queens Family Ministry Singles Forum coming up soon. A platform where Singles can express themselves and ask vital questions about Marriage, relationships and many more. Am looking forward to it's official inauguration. Pray along with us for God's help and divine provision. God bless you all. From the the office the National Coordinator KQFM

Never marry someone you cannot joke or play with. Marriage is not a military ground. Am I communicating?

Before the commencement of couples fellowship last week end. Looking forward to Septembers edition. Pray along with us for the manifestation of God's power.

THE POWER OF A FAMILY ALTAR

Gen 12:7& 8, 13:14-18, 22:9

The Altar connotes a place of intimacy and communion with God.Abraham was called the friend of God because of the way he related with Him. What made the difference was his attitude to the altar.The above scriptures reveal the consistency of his “altar life”.

The greatest need for any family is to build an altar for God. God is looking for altar builders to commune with. When a family builds an altar for God, He will bless them just like He blessed Abraham.

We may have the best cars, house, status, money etc, if we don’t have an altar, it is nothing to God.

Abraham built an altar for God; because of that he became so intimate with God and God blessed him in all things. Gen 24:1

For many Christian families, spiritualties are meant for the Church alone; all prayers, teachings and worship must be only in the Church. In many of these families, there has been the abdication of godly leadership, family worship and spiritual leadership

This has denied them the experience of divine blessings and it can only be remediated through the family altar.

There is power to release genuine blessings into families fromthe family altar.

It is only through the family altar that spiritual exercises like prayer, teaching, praise and worship can be introduced into our homes. In order words, the family altar is church in the home.

Church in the home also means God in the home and when God is in your home, He will surely bless your home 2 Sam 6:12

BENEFITS OF FAMILY ALTAR

Fellowship: it makes the family come together to pray, study the word and worship.
As a result of the family altar, children are brought up in the fear of God. They are blessed by the Lord and in turn become a blessing to their family.
It is at the family altar that children develop godly virtues and values to live a stable, peaceful and victorious life in the future Prov. 22:6.
Children will also learn how to communicate with God at the family altar.
At the prayer altar, battles of life are fought and won for a family.
The power of God is released for the benefit of the family
A prayer altar makes the family to spend good time together with God.
The family altar is a place for repentance, forgiveness and healing 1peter 3:7
It creates an atmosphere for miracles, signs and wonder in the family
Generally, the family altar fosters unity, harmony and love in the family
HOW TO MAKE FAMILY ALTAR EFFECTIVE

Have a regular time for it every day; probably very early in the morning
Make Bibles available for the family especially the modern (and simple) translation so that everybody can understand
Take a scripture for praise and worship.
Take a new bible reading for the day. You can also use a devotional guide for this purpose.
Explain to and discuss with others the passage or the topic for the day
Relate such to practical day to day life style i.e. morally, socially, and spiritually.
Let there be every family member’s participation.
Family members should be encouraged to memorize scripture by having at least one memory verse for the week.
Prayer: this can be done together while a leader raises the prayer points for others.
The leading of the devotion can be rotated between the father and mother or the grown up children. This will enhance Spiritual development and growth of the family members.
In conclusion, the benefit of family altar cannot be over emphasized. Every believer who desires to have a home that will be Heaven on earth should not neglect the family altar.

Life is warfare; it is only the best fighters that will become victorious. You must fight for your family and marriage if you want family and marital success.

Don’t give up. Fight for your husband, wife or children. Satan is after the church of God; he cannot succeed except he destroys the family.

Do not see the family as old fashioned because that old stuff still work.

Do not look down on the family altar!

May your life, marriage and family glorify God as you resolve to put an effective family altar in place in your home this season!

Marriage is one of the closest door to heaven or hell on Earth. Shalom

THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T TELL ANYONE.

In a relationship, whether married or still in courtship, there are things you should not tell another person. You never know who will be the Judas over your relationship. There are high secrets you have to keep only to yourself.

Wisdom is profitable to direct

1. Don't tell anybody how weak your partner is. Someone may use it against you/them.

2. Don't tell people how much you quarrel with your partner, make them see it as perfect from outside while you settle issues from inside.

3. Don't tell even a best friend how much you get as pocket allowance from your husband, if they ask tell them that he's giving more than you expected.

4. Men don't tell your friends how good your wife is in bed, that's a secret between you and your wife.

5. Don't ever tell your mother the way he or she is acting in the marriage, you won't like the outcome if she's a jealous Mother in law.

6. Ladies, a friend may be eyeing your hubby and that's why you shouldn't tell them what moves him most.

7. Even your pastor is not worthy to know how many times you quarrel with your husband, most of them will use it as sermon. Just talk to God alone.

8. Don't tell the children that their father/mother is a bad person. It can make them hate them.

9. Don't tell anybody your partner's past mistakes, it is too risky for your marriage.

10. Don't tell anyone to try seducing your partner to prove their loyalty. They may end up winning their love.