The Guided Beginnings School

The story of Nigeria's independence isn't just a chapter in a history book for our learners, it's a source of inspiration! Yesterday, we talked about the courage and vision it took to build a free nation. We see that same potential in every child in our classrooms. They are learning to be problem-solvers, peacemakers, and innovators. We are guiding them to find their own voice, so one day, they can use it to drive freedom, progress, and unity for all. The leaders of tomorrow are sitting in our classrooms today, and we couldn't be more hopeful. 🎉

Schools in Abuja

Many of us grew up hearing whispers like, “That one is daddy’s favourite,” or “Mummy no dey joke with that her pikin.”
Sometimes it was obvious, one child always got the bigger share of meat, the softer correction, the gentler tone.
Other times it was subtle, the way a parent’s eyes lit up more for one child than the other.

And maybe as children we joked about it, shrugged it off, or even silently wished we were “the chosen one.”
But children always notice. Always.
And the effects? They run deeper than we like to admit.
The favoured child often grows up carrying entitlement, believing life should bend toward them. Or worse, they live with the quiet pressure of having to constantly “keep the crown,” never free to just be themselves.
The overlooked child, on the other hand, may grow up battling resentment, second-guessing their worth, or forever trying to prove they’re good enough.
Two children. Two different scars.
But both wounded by the same root, FAVOURITISM!

The harder part of this favorite child syndrome is that it doesn’t end in childhood.
It spills into adulthood into sibling rivalry that lingers for decades, into broken trust within families, into marriages where a partner struggles to feel loved because their foundation of love was shaky from the start.

So what can parents do differently?
If you already have a favourite, or don’t want to unconsciously create one:
Catch yourself before comparing siblings because words stick longer than you realise.
Create one-on-one rituals with each child, even if it’s just a short walk or a bedtime chat.
Celebrate each child’s unique strengths without dimming another’s light.
And spread both correction and affection evenly. Children don’t just notice your hugs; they notice your scoldings too.

Parenting isn’t about choosing who shines the brightest.
It’s about making each child feel like they are your everything.
Dear parents, this takes intentionality. It takes awareness. And it takes the courage to unlearn the patterns many of us inherited growing up.
Because love is not a competition.
It is not rationed.
It multiplies and every child deserves to feel like your favorite.

Think back to your childhood…
Did favouritism shape the way you saw yourself?
Let’s talk about it in the comments. 👇🏽

Your Parenting Guide,
Suruurah Ogunfemi
Author & Family Life Engr

“I leave home before sunrise, I’m back late at night… am I parenting enough?”
A 9–5 parent asked me this recently, and I could hear the guilt in her voice.
It’s a question many working parents silently carry. You wake before dawn to beat traffic, spend long hours at work, and return home tired, sometimes too tired to even string two full sentences together before bed. And in those moments, the doubt creeps in: “Am I failing my child?”

I let her know that Parenting is not measured by the number of hours you sit at home.
It’s measured by the presence you bring in the moments you are with your child.

A 10-minute bedtime story, told with warmth, can plant more seeds than hours of distracted time.
A genuine, “Tell me all that happened in school today?” asked over dinner can make your child connect better with you.
Simple weekend rituals—Saturday pancakes, Sunday game nights, or family halaqah—become anchors of love and connection that last a lifetime.

Your child may not remember how many hours you spent at home, but they will always remember how you made them feel when you were there.
Your work provides for your child’s needs.
Your presence shapes their heart.
And both matter.
So to every 9–5 parent reading this: you are not less of a parent. You are building, you are providing, and you are shaping hearts in ways you may not even see yet.

And if you want to learn how to show up with even more confidence, ease, and connection—
Join the Guided Tribe Inner Circle.
Because parenting isn’t about perfection, it’s about presence. And we’re here to grow with you.

Your Parenting Guide,

Suruurah Ogunfemi
Author & Family Life Engr

It was late evening.

The house smelt of dinner.

The atmosphere was tense.

Father slumped on the sofa, scrolling aimlessly on his phone, trying to cool down after yet another shouting match with his teenage son.

Mother sat nearby, arms crossed, frustrated, not at the meal that’s gone cold, but at the fact that she has repeated the same instructions for three days straight and still the chores aren’t done.

The kids were in their rooms- one sulking, the other playing on a tablet with headphones, shutting out the world.

The parents’ thoughts were heavy: “Where did we go wrong? Why won’t they listen? Are they just being stubborn?”

"Then We caused to inherit the Book those We have chosen of Our servants; and among them is he who wrongs himself, and among them is he who is moderate, and among them is he who is foremost in good deeds by the permission of Allah." (Qur’an 35:32)

This verse is a profound reminder that even among those chosen and honored by Allah to receive His Book, there are three types of people:

1. Those who wrong themselves- making mistakes, falling short, sometimes knowingly, sometimes from weakness.

2. Those who are moderate- doing some good, missing some opportunities.

3. Those who are foremost in good deeds- consistently striving for excellence.

Hmmm... Allahu Akbar! The One Who Creates created variation as part of human nature, even with the best of lineages, in the most blessed environments...

From a brain development perspective, especially in children and teens, the prefrontal cortex, which is the seat of impulse control, planning, empathy, and foresight, is still under construction.

This means even a child raised with the best values will have moments when they “wrong themselves,” moments when they’re “moderate,” and moments when they shine.

This is developmental reality, not a moral failure

And here’s the insight: You can’t demand “foremost in good deeds” 24/7 from a brain that’s still learning how to manage its own storms.

When you see your child lagging, slacking, or even outright refusing, Qur’an 35:32 invites you to step back and remember:

The same home can produce all three types- sometimes in different children, sometimes in the same child at different stages.

Your role is not to force them into perfection, but to coach them forward from wherever they are.

Frustration burns connection. Curiosity builds it. Instead of “Why are you always lazy?” What if you say, “What’s making this task hard for you right now?”

The Prophet (SAW) was a master of this.

He (SAW) saw people were they were, then guided them step by step without crushing their spirit.

So for you my dear tired parent in that living room, let Qur’an 35:32 guide you.

If those honored with the Book are not all at the same level at the same time… why are you so hard on yourself, and your children?

What are your fears? And how can you turn them around to be a better shepherd and not a wreckless driver of their destiny?

You’re raising a human being, not programming a robot.

Some days, your children, just like you, will wrong themselves.

Some days they’ll be average.

Some days they’ll soar.

Your job is to stay present, keep modeling, keep guiding, keep asking from Allah that which you desire, and trust that Allah sees the effort, not just the outcome.

And in those moments when you feel alone in the struggle, remember: Allah Himself acknowledges these differences, yet still calls all categories among the chosen and inheritors!

Because in His sight, they're still chosen. And that, as the ayah concluded: that [inheritance] is what is the great bounty.

I pray this ayah inspires and reframes something for you, and in your today, as it did for me, aamyn.

Your Partner on the Journey,

Suruurah Ogunfemi

Author, NLP Practitioner & Family Life Shepherd

To every father striving to lead with love and live with purpose- your efforts are seen, and more importantly, acknowledged by Allah.

Let's reflect on fatherhood through the example of the most beloved human- Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ).

Today reminds us of the beauty of consultation (shūrā), justice, and freedom, all of which are values upheld in Islam.

May Allah grant our leaders wisdom, our people unity,
and our nation peace.

May fairness, equity, and truth guide us- leaders and citizens alike, and Allah bless us all with righteousness, aamyn.

-The Guided Beginnings School
📚 Preschool | Primary | Islamiyyah | Tahfiz
…steering your child to distinction!

Ibrahim (AS) faced delay in fatherhood.

Then a call to abandon his family in a barren land.

The ultimate test was to sacrifice his beloved son.

And in each trial came hidden mercy.

From barren soil, Zamzam flowed.

From surrender, a legacy was born.

Jews, Christians, and Muslims all trace spiritual roots back to him.

Yet Allah reminds us in the Qur’an:

"Ibrahim was neither a Jew nor a Christian, but he was one inclining toward truth, a Muslim [submitting to Allah]. And he was not of the polytheists." (Surah Aal-Imran 3:67)

His story unites us and teaches us.

Our lives echo these same tests.

We pray, wait, strive, and sometimes release what we treasure most.

Parenting pushes us to let go of control, and trust in growth we can’t yet see...

What if we respond like Ibrahim- with trust, obedience, and love?

Our sacrifices won’t be in vain.

Like Zamzam, they become stories our children drink from- nourishing, unending.

And all those sacrifices of Ibrahim (AS), we celebrate as Eid today. ✨💫

Eid is our call to rise above the test, knowing blessings often follow after the knife falls.

Eid Mubarak, beloved people!

Taqabbalallahu Minna wa Minkum, Aamīn 💕

Your Parenting Partner,
Suruurah Ogunfemi
Parent Guide & Family Life Engr