05/05/2021
Tips on Healing From Sexual Harassment
Moving on after being sexually harassed at work can seem like a daunting task. You may feel stuck or hopeless about your situation. But with a little work and some outside counseling, you should be able to make sense of your experience, heal from it, and move on. Here are some steps every victim must take in order to heal from sexual harassment.
1.Accept what happened. What this means is to validate your experience. Do not minimize what happened or make excuses for the perpetrator. It is also important to allow yourself to experience your emotions. Do not bottle up the hurt and anger you are feeling. Find healthy ways to express these feelings. Some options include prayer, meditation, yoga,4 and other stress-reducing activities.
2.Talk to someone about the harassment. It always helps to talk with a safe person. Try to find someone who will respect your feelings and your perspective. Don't share your thoughts and feelings with someone who is going to tell you that you are overreacting or being emotional. If you do not have anyone to talk with about your experience, consider joining a support group or starting one of your own.
3.Journal about your experience. Describe how sexual harassment affected you. Explore the different emotions you are feeling. Sometimes it is helpful to include in your journal a letter to the person who harassed you. Say all the things you wish you would have said, but didn't. It can be very healing to get all of that out of your system. Journaling also may help you make sense of what happened to you and it is a safe place to say whatever is on your mind without trying to filter anything out.
4.Stop blaming yourself. What happened to you was not your fault. You did not cause it and you could not control the other person. Remind yourself too that you have nothing to be ashamed of and you should not feel guilty. Blaming yourself will slow your healing. The only guilty person is the perpetrator. He made a choice to sexually harass you. The only choice you have in the matter is how you are going to deal with what happened to you. Remember, you have complete control over your response and where you go from here. Focus on that fact and let it empower you.
5.Bring closure to your experience. An important part of the healing process is putting the past behind you and detaching from the trauma you experienced. Sometimes this means changing jobs or careers. It also could mean discovering who you really are. Too many times, a person's identity is tied to her work. Instead, rediscover what makes you you. Start a new hobby and develop new interests. And most importantly, do not dwell on what happened to you. Find a healthy way to put the past behind you and try to remain positive about things in your life.
6.Use the experience to help others. Sometimes, you can bring meaning to what happened to you by integrating your experience into your life in some way. For instance, you could write a blog about what you have experienced and offer suggestions to readers. Or, you could lead a support group, build a website for harassment victims, or speak to others. Another option is to volunteer with non-profit groups that address sexual harassment. The key is taking a negative experience and turning it into something positive. Doing so helps build your resiliency.
7. Find a counselor. If you find it difficult to move on after your experience, you may benefit from seeing a counselor who specializes in dealing with workplace sexual harassment. Counselors that specialize in sexual assault or abuse may also be helpful. Additionally, if you have been harassed at work or school, advocates advise not using your school or employer's mental health staff. Sometimes the lines of confidentiality get blurred and the counselor will share your information about you to others in the organization. In extreme cases, they may even try to protect the organization from liability. It is always best to find a counselor outside of where the sexual harassment occurred. Not only is it an added protection for your privacy, but you may find it easier to open up to someone that is not associated with the organization where the harassment occurred.
Lee Cai Yu
281795