11/12/2018
Here's a huge amount of writing correction from my student's recent homework (I removed anything personal). As you already know - I do this level of correction for 60+ students a week, which takes a LOT of time.
But, I think it's useful in a lot of ways. First, it gives me a very clear idea about the mistakes people are making (even with planning before they write), so I have a better idea about what I need to focus on in class.
Also, it's just good for students to see what mistakes they're making and get an idea about better or more appropriate structures or ways of writing they should be using.
Finally - I think it might be useful for people who are really self-motivated to improve their English, but aren't in Yangon or can't take a class with me for some reason. It really is the same 10-12 mistakes over and over again every week with each new class.
As we go along in the course, the mistakes become fewer and fewer and people's writing gets better and better, but usually at the beginning of a course, it's the same mistakes everybody is making, so - I highly recommend studying or at least taking a look at some of these.
It's a lot of work, and I don't particularly like doing it (I prefer being in the classroom with my students and teaching and working with them. Correcting and writing reports about writing correction is BORING!), but - 9 times out of 10 if you don't know what choice to make - you should always do the thing you want to do least. ;)
Anyway - hope this helps a couple of people.
Tr. Jon@FourElementsEnglish
There is lots of reported speech (he/she said) at the beginning and we wanted only reporting verbs with no quotes and no he/she said
"Chris said he has wanted" - if we're doing this in reported speech we need to go back a tense from present perfect to past perfect. "Chris said he had wanted"
"and rock and roll god" needs an article "a". "And a rock and roll god" - we'll cover articles more later
"only he must imitate him" is not exactly wrong, but the structure would be better as "he must only imitate him"
"he fed up" - "fed up" is usually a compound adjective, so we need a verb in this. "He was fed up"
"said Alice I has wanted" - first I+have. Also, again we need to go back 1 tense to past perfect. "told Alice he had wanted"
"study to sb" should use the preposition "with" not "to". "Study with somebody"
"every one love him" - "everyone" should be one word, and the verb should be verb+s. "Everyone loves him".
"accused sb of v+ing"
"what they were arguing" should be "what they were arguing about"
"Explained that . . . +go back one tense". "Explained that" is basically the same thing as "he/she said" and we'll need to go back 1 tense for this, because it's reported speech, not really a reporting verb
"find thoroughly" should be "search thoroughly" - finding is the result of searching
"Richard and Samantha reached" should either be "arrived" or "reached someplace"
"asked where they had been arguing" seems like it should be "asked why" not "where"
"about new dress" needs an article "the" - about the new dress
"grandson should be 1 word
"Daniel wearing . . . came" should be "Daniel came, wearing . .
"They were floaty and look" should be past tense "looked"
"grandfather" should be 1 word
"would sponsor vacation" needs an article "a" or a pronoun "their". "would sponsor a/their vacation"
"explained . . . gave" is reported speech not a reporting verb so you need to go back 1 tense. "explained that . . . had given"
"root cause what was happening" needs "of". "the root cause of sth"
"should not argue and accused" should be should not + simple present. "Should not argue and accuse"
"apologized each others" - no "s" for "each other". Also Apologized to sb for v+ing
"Laura" isn't spelled correctly.
"they" isn't spelled correctly
"about holiday trip" needs an article "a" or a possessive pronoun "their" - "about a/their holiday trip"
Most of this is using reported speech, not reporting verbs. Reported speech is "sb sad . . . +go back 1 tense. Reporting verbs are going to be like "Sb insisted on v+ing". You're kind of mixing both things, and it doesn't really work that way
"take care his children" should be "take care of"
"last year trip" should be possessive "year's"
"apologized for being able to make best" - this doesn't really make sense. Why would you apologize for doing/making the best?
Why did you add a colon (:) before every line? In 43 years I’ve never seen anyone write like this, so I really don’t understand what the reason for it is
You're mixing reported speech and reporting verbs, which was not really the point of the homework. Reported speech is - "Mark said . . . + go back one tense". Reporting verbs don't use he/she said. "Alice denied v+ing" - no he/she said
"denied of v+ing" does not need any "of"
"having relationship" needs an article "a" - "having a relationship"
"divorce with him" doesn't need any preposition. "divorce sb"
"keep going their relationship" should be "continue their relationship" or "keep their relationship going"
After a period/full stop use a double space when typing. After a comma, use a single space
“apologized his wife” needs a preposition “to”. Apologized to sb for v+ing”
“get a divorced” should either be “get divorced” or “get a divorce”
“suggested to calm down her sister” is not bad, but usually we separate the phrasal verb “calm down” like “calm sb down”. “Calm her sister down”
“Insisted that said he was” doesn’t need the extra verb “said”. “insisted he was. . . “
“nobody couldn’t stop him” should be “nobody could stop him”
"neighbors countries" should be "neighboring countries"
"have more or less equally" should use the adjective "equal" and the verb "are". "are more or less equal. Adjective to modify a noun (countries). Adverb to modify a verb
"there has no difference in" should be "there is no difference"
"invest at" should be "invest in". The verb "invest" will almost always be followed by a preposition "in"
"is huge market" needs an article "a". "Is a huge market". We'll cover articles - a/an/the/zero article more later
"the North Korea" – don’t use the or any article with most country names ()there are exceptions to this which we will cover later
"rules and regulation" should be plural "regulations"
"bar chart show" should be verb+s "shows"
"mission will complete" should be "mission will be complete"
"at both countries" should be "in both countries"
"aware about the internet" should be "aware of sth"
"educate their knowledge" - you can't educate knowledge. Knowledge is a thing, not a person. "educate them" or "increase their knowledge"
“usage show” should be verb+s “shows”. “It shows”
“Japan and South Korea results” should use the adjective forms “Japanese and South Korean”
“are more or less equally” should use the adjective “equal” to modify the noun “results”. Use the adverb to modify a verb
“x and y are no differences in the results” would be better as “there are no differences in the results of x and y”
The report doesn't follow the structure I provided, and doesn't really use any of the language we highlighted in the example text. The long overview of the company isn't necessary, because you're writing to your boss who probably knows more about the company than you. The bar chart shows . . . More or less equal. . . There are significant differences in . . . +suggestion
My name isn't Jhon
"owns 60% of share and controlling to the company . . . " should be "owns 60% of the shares and controls the . . ."
"the company is built" should be present perfect "has built" - for something that began in the past and continues now
"at Yangon" should be "in Yangon""
"had been worth" should be "is worth" because you're talking about "now"
"eyeing to spend to the Asia market" - seems like it should be "expand", not spend. "Looking to expand into the Asian market"
"enough knowledge in mobile internet" should be "of". "knowledge of sth"
"Asia market" needs to use the adjective "Asian"
"the most interesting places" should be singular "place"
"waiting to the investors" should be "waiting for"
"using of internet" would be better as "internet usage"
"significant difference in" should be plural "differences"
"over 50..." - this should be a new sentence
"recently, North Korea allows" should be present perfect "has allowed" - for something that began in the past and continues now
"discuss about promoting" doesn't need the preposition "about". "discuss sth
"from these only facts" would be better as "based on these facts" (plural facts"
"I" must always be capitalized
"learning online courses" - you don't learn a course. "Learning from online courses"
"if the more knowledge the have, the more . . . " doesn't need "if"
"supporting to develop" is a bit awkward. Usually the verb "support won't use to+v. "supporting the development"
“I’m so regret” – regret is a verb or a noun, not an adjective so we could say (very formally) “I so regret” or “I greatly regret” . If you want to use it as a noun you could say “I’m full of regret about/over sth”
“bad economy” probably needs an article “the”. “The bad economy”
“is going to go downhill” in this situation would be better as present continuous or present perfect contin. . . “has been going downhill”
“never would had fire” should be “would have fired”
“I would never thought” should be “I never would have thought”
“like a half baked idea” – we don’t really use this as a simile – sth is like sth. We just say sth is a half baked idea
“an old hand person” doesn’t need “person”. “sb is an old hand at sth”
“reach at the peak” doesn’t need the preposition “at”. “reach the peak”
“many opportunity” should be plural “opportunities”
“in big company” needs an article “a” – “in a big company”
“access of” seems like it should be “asset of”
“with effect from” would be better as “effective 18th Nov”
“bitter pill to take” should be “to swallow”. You can’t really change the wording or vocab on these idioms around too much, or people won’t recognize the idiom. We recognize the meaning of an idiom because it’s repeated the same way so often
“last some years” should be “last few years”
“other all measures” should be “all other measures”
“came to decision of downsizing” should be “came to the decision to +v”
“time for us to be a crossroad” should be something like “we are now/currently at a crossroads”
“search you an employment” seems like the verb should be “find” and you don’t need the article “an”. “find employment for yourself”
When typing formal titles, like Dr. Somebody, you need a single space between the period/full stop and their name
"I" must always be capitalized
"signed up lastweek" - needs a preposition "for" - "sign up for sth" and "last week" should be two words
After a period/full stop use a double space when typing. After a comma, use a single space
"No I receive" should either be present perfect "No I have received" or present perfect continuous - "now I am receiving"
"requesting that to stop" - the verb "request" won't usually use to+v. "requesting sth", "requesting that you +v"
"that he was giving my contact and" should be "contact information, and"
"take action to him" the verb "take action" will only use "to" with a verb. "take action to do sth". If you're talking about a person or an object, the prepositions could be toward or against. . . "take action toward him"
"confirm that you give warning" should be "that you have warned" or "that hyou have given a warning"
There's no "h" in my name
When writing a title like "Dr. Somebody" you need a space between the period/full stop and their name
"I am writhing with regard to you about" - "writing" isn't spelled correctly. In this case the phrase 'with regard to" or "regarding" or "in regard to" all mean the same thing as "about". "I am writing to you about/with regard to" +sth
After a period/full stop use a double space when typing. After a comma, use a single space
"opportunities are being get" seems like it should be "are being offered
"stop him not to do it again" should be "stop him from doing it again". "Stop sb from v+ing"
"writing" isn't spelled correctly
"with regard to . . . was sold" - we can't really use past passive here. Usually the construction of this will be "with regard to v+ing", or "with regard to . . . being sold"
"exciting" doesn't need to be capitalized
After a period/full stop use a double space when typing. After a comma use a single space
"has not been got permission by" should be "has not got permission from"
"stop his manner" - you can't really stop your manner. -"stop his behavior
"in regard to . . sold" should be "in regard to noun/v+ing". "in regard to . . . being sold"
"class was signed up" - with the phrasal verb "sign up" we need a preposition "for". This should be something like "signed up for a class. . . "
"hundred of phone calls" should be plural "hundreds"
After a period, use a double space when typing. After a comma, use a single space
"rules on the students" should be "rules for the students"
"take action not to be called my phone" - should be "take action to prevent my phone from being called"
"action has been taken absolutely" sounds a bit awkward. It kind of makes sense, but hyou either take action or don't. I might say "that hyou have taken these actions" or "that these actions have been taken"
; should be :
"no more my phone number " should be "not my phone number any longer"
"information are invaded to" should be "information is" and "invaded by"
After a period, use a full stop when typing. After a comma, use a single space
"registered the English class" needs a preposition "for". "Register for sth". "Register at some place"
"Information was filled" should be "the forms were filled out with my information"
"sold out to" should be "sold to". The phrasal verb "sell out" means something like betray or stab in the back
"pursued this matter to sb" should be "with sb"
"want to know that how can you take actions" should be "want to know what actions you can take"
"I am requested" should be "am requesting"
"should be dismissed sb" should be "should dismiss sb"
"take legal actions by my lawyer" should be "with my lawyer
"with regard to complain about" should either be "to complain about" (informal) or "with regard to noun/vf+ing" (formal
After a period/full stop use a double space when typing. After a comma, use a single space
"I am getting now hundreds of calls" should be "I am now getting"
"I filled up the ...form" - the phrasal verb for this is "fill out". "fill out a form, an application, etc." . . . "Fill up" a cup, a gas tank, etc.
"After I had done. . . I am" should be "I was"
"he is not answering" would be better as present perfect contin. - "He has not been answering"
"the detail list" should be "detailed"
"I want the formal apology" should use the article "a". "I want a formal apology". We'll cover articles (a/an/the/zero article) more later
abbreviated titles like "Dr." need a period/full stop
"info were" - info is uncountable so this should be "info was"
After a period/full stop use a double space when typing. After a comma, use a single space
"already chased this matter" should use the verb "pursued"
"any problem which will be occurred by" should be "any problems which will be caused by"
"Thank you for . . . time to this matter" should use the preposition "on". "time on this matter". Spend time on noun/v+ing
"thousands" isn't spelled correctly
When you use an abbreviated title like Dr. or Tr. you need a space between the period/full stop and the person’s name
"got numbers of calls in a day" would be better without the preposition "in". "thousands of calls a day". "Hundreds of times a year"
"irritating" isn't spelled correctly
"pursued this matter with sb . . not to call" should be "who I have told not to call"
"information" isn't spelled correctly
"lots of girlfriend" should be plural "girlfriends"
"After two years later" should either be "After two years" or "two years later"
"she thought she is" should be "she thought she was"
"in last two years" should be "two years ago"
"on wedding day" needs article "the". "On the wedding day". We'll cover articles (a/an/the/zero article) more later
after a period/full stop use a double space when typing. After a comma, use a single space
"I was got a chance" should be "I got a chance"
'Bus" doesn't need to be capitalized
"6hours" needs a space between 6 and hours
"arrived the hotel" should be "arrived at the hotel"
"Richard and her relationship were stopped" should be "was" - "it was stopped"
"both are refused" means somebody refused sth to them. "both refused"
"Richard is apologized" shouldn't have "is"
"she is still difficult to accept" should be "it is still difficult for her to accept"
"is wife" needs an article "the". "Is the wife". We'll cover articles (a/an/the/zero article) more later
"denied marrying of her son with" - I'm not sure if you're clear about the difference between the reporting verbs "deny" and "refuse". In this case I think it'll be "refused to let her son marry"
"parent permission" should be plural parents
"Suggested his wife" - "suggest sth to sb". "Suggested to his wife"
"agree for sth" should be "agree to/with sth"
"both are insisted" should be active voice - "both insisted"
"frustrate to the wedding ceremony" - with the verb "frustrate" we don't use to+v. "frustrate sth/sb
"million dollars" should be "a million dollars" or "millions of dollars" - I'm not sure which you mean
"their wife" should be plural "wives"
"admitted to accepting sth" should just be "accepted sth"
"their last breathing" should be "their last breath"
"writing" isn't spelled correctly
"Finance Manager" doesn't need to be capitalized
"as an experienced Finance" = finance what? Financial Manager?
"The last 9 years many jobs" should be "in many jobs" or "doing many jobs"
"These are" should be "those are"
All of the jobs don't need to be capitalized
"kept payable" do you mean "kept accounts payables"
"and customer when given and taken problem solving" - I don't really understand what this means. I might say "solving customer problems"
"Decision buying Raw & Material" - there should be no "&" and "raw material" doesn't need to be capitalized. Also there no verb in this sentence. I might say "Made decisions aboout buying raw material"
"eleven months have been worked in . . . company" should be "I have worked for 11 months in ... company"
“is father of” should be “is the father of/is the mother of sb”. We’ll cover articles (a/an/the/zero article) more later
Richard said Samantha has accused him “should be “had accused”. “You have accused me!”. He said she had accused him of sth
“copying …slightly similar” should use the adverb “similarly”
“suggested sb. . . inviting” should be “suggested inviting sb to sb”
“on that party” should be “at that party
After a period/full stop use a double-space when typing. After a comma, use a single space
“I was decided” should be “I decided”. “was +v3” is past passive, and the structure is o/v or o/v +by s. In this case the subject or the doer of the action is “I”, so you need to use an active tense. “I decided to”
“which is had” should be “which had”
“to NGO” needs an article “an”. “an NGO”. We’ll cover articles (a/an/the/zero article) more later
“6years” needs a space between 6 and years
“studying economics subject” – you don’t really need to say “subject”, because if you’re studying something we know it’s a subject. “Studying economics”
“After, . . . “ needs some kind of object. “After that,”, “After I had finished”, etc.
“parents was” should be “parents were”
“telling me continue” should be “telling me to continue”. “Tell sb to+v”
“I study” should be past tense “studied”
After a period/full stop, use a double space when typing. After a comma, use a single space
“had difficult time” needs an article “a”. “Had a difficult time”. We’ll cover articles (a/an/the/zero article) more later
“job is higher salary then” should be “job has a higher salary than”. “Then” talks about time. “than” is used when comparing things. “older than me”
“in current job” needs a possessive pronoun. “In my current job”
“had higher position” needs an article “a”. “Had a higher position”
“and good chance” needs an article “a”. “a good chance”
“past,” should use a period/full stop instead of a comma because it looks like you’re beginning a new sentence after that
After a period/full stop, use a double space when typing. After a comma, use a single space
“carrier” should be “career”
“doesn’t have . . . mart” needs an article “a”. “Doesn’t have a . . . mart”. We’ll cover articles (a/an/the/zero article) more later
“I difficult to buy” should be “it is difficult for me to buy” – “difficult” is an adjective, not a verb so we need some kind of verb like “is/was/will be”
“gromming” should be “grooming”
“that why” should be “that’s why” (that is why)
“I” must always be capitalized
“Yangon”, all city names, people’s names, etc. must always be capitalized
“Next two years than I opened” – We need a couple of changes here. First than/then. “than” is used for comparing things (x is bigger than y). “Then” is to talk about a time. I would just say “Two years later I opened”
“I hadn’t had” needs “if”. “If I hadn’t had”
“made a decision to went foreign country” should be “made a decision to go to a foreign country”. “Decided/made a decision to+v1”
“last 9 year” should be plural “years” and with simple past (made) use “ago”, not “last”. “9 years ago”
“go aboard” – aboard means on a ship/plane/etc… It should be “abroad”
Why did you capitalize “Hospitality Management”?
“was dreaming about to work” should be “was dreaming of/about v+ing”
“in 5 star hotel” needs an article “a”. “In a 5 star hotel”. We’ll cover articles (a/an/the/zero article) more later
“in this time” should be “at this time” or just “now”
“I am not regret” should be “I do not regret”
“I” must always be capitalized
After a period/full stop use a double space when typing. After a comma, use a single space
“got diploma” needs an article “a”. “got a diploma”
“Marketing” doesn’t need to be capitalized
After a period/full stop, use a double space when typing. After a comma, use a single space
"Using internet" needs an article "the". "Using the internet". We'll cover articles (a/an/the/zero article) later, but generally if there's only one of something, we'll use the article "the"
"it can be obviously seen" should be "it can obviously be seen" . . . We don't really cover this too much until the Advanced level, but this is an example of a passive modal. modal +b +ppv3
"If South . . .and North . . . becomes" should be verb no 'S' - "become". "If they become"
"will be . . . catchy by many citizens" - You can't really use catch way. If you change the preposition "by" to "to" it would be better.
"if my suggestion reached a consensus" - suggestions or things don't reach a consensus, people do. "If we reached a consensus about my subject" would be a better structure
"into all over the world" should be "into the whole world" or just "v+ all over the world" without "into all"
"the number of internet usage" - the noun "usage" is uncountable, so we can't say "a number of". You could use "rate" or "amount", etc.
After a period/full stop, use a double space when typing. After a comma, use a single space
"show no much significant differences". "No much" should generally always be "not much". However this structure isn't really ok. I would say "show no significant differences"
"Number of use" - use is also uncountable, so you can't use the quantifier "number of"
"Stand out that" should be "stand out because"
"usage outnumber" should be verb+s - "usage outnumbers". "it" verb+s
"Within short period" needs an article "a". "Within a short time"
"high or fair internet" - What is "high or fair" internet?
"the . . . countries" - you don't need to capitalize the words you capitalized here
"expect" seems like it should be "except"
"they have different purpose of using" should be plural "purposes" or singular with an article "a". "They have a different purpose" and the preposition should be "for", not "of". "purpose for v+ing"
"Leader . . . use" should be verb+s "uses". "He/she" verb+s
"would be succeeded more than we think" should be "would be more successful than we think". IN this case we want the adjective "successful" rather than the past tense verb "succeeded"
"It has regrettably informed you that" - who is "it"? This should be something like "we regret to inform you that"
"tested in laboratory" needs an article "a". "Tested in a laboratory"
"customers . . . who has" should be "who have". "they verb+s"
"acne" is an uncountable noun so we can't make it plural by adding an "s"
"and swollen face" seems like it should be plural "faces", because we're talking about people, not a person
"products have been brought back" should use the verb "recalled". For this kind of situation the verb is "recall" and the noun is also the same
"the situation are investigated" if it's 1 sitution it should be "is" not are . . . "the situation is being investigated"
"expect to be found out all . .." should be "expect all . . . to be discovered"
"amount of internet users" needs an article "the". We'll cover articles more later
"users are . . . more or less equally" should use the adjective "equal" instead of the adverb "equally". V+adv. Noun+adj
After a period/full stop use a double space when typing. After a comma, use a single space
"there were an average 50 million people use" should be "there was", "an average of" "people using"
"internet" needs an article "the". If there's only 1 of something generally we'll use an article "the"
"there is only 2 million people" should be "there are"
"too much competitors" should be "too many". Many+countable noun, "much +uncountable noun
"we will try every person can use" should be something like "we will try to make every person be able to use"
"spread out our network the whole country" should be "across the whole country". "spread sth out across sth"
13/06/2019
13/02/2019
01/01/2019
15/12/2018