28/11/2022
Short Story -1-
Mr. and Mrs. Peters went to Brighton for a holiday last summer. Brighton is a town by the sea in England. Mr. Peters likes fishing very much, and on the first day he said to his wife. I'm going to go out fishing on the sea. Are you going to come with me? No, his wife answered. Its cold and windy today. Mr. Peters went out in a boat alone and fished for several hours. But he caught nothing - except an advertisement on a piece of plastic for a fish-shop in the town. He went back to the hotel and gave it to his wife. How did you catch that?. She asked him. 'A diver put it on my hook,' Mr. Peters answered.
Short Story -2-
Sam left school last June. 'You don't like work very much, Sam,' his friend Paul said, 'What are you going to do now?' 'I'm going to study music,' Sam answered. 'I'm going to go to a music college.' Sam went to the music college, but he did not study much. He played games and went to dances and enjoyed everything. But he never had much money. Then he had some holidays. He went home and saw his friend Paul again, Paul said, 'How are you getting on, Sam?' 'Quite well,' was Sam's answer, 'but my father isn't very nice. I wrote to himand asked him for £500 for a new violin, but he didn't send me the money. He sent me a violin.
Short Story 3
An old woman lived alone in her house, because her husband was dead. She fell down the stairs and hurt her left leg very badly. She telephoned her sister, and her sister came to her house and took her to the doctor in her car. The doctor cleaned the leg and then he bandaged it. After that, he said to the old woman. Now, Mrs. Grace, this leg's going to be bad for a long time. Don't run up and down the stairs in your house for a few weeks.
Mrs. Grace visited the doctor every week for about a month, and then he said, 'Your leg's quite well again, Mrs. Grace.' 'That's very good,' said the old woman happily. 'I hated climbing up and down that drainpipe to my bedroom every day.'
Short Story -4-
Jean and Mark were twins. They were ten years old, and they were in the same class at their school. A few weeks ago, their English teacher said to the children, 'I haven't given you any homework for two weeks, children. Now this week, write a composition about "Our cat", and give it to me next Monday. Have you all got a cat at home?'
'Yes, Miss Jones,' all of them answered. All the pupils did the composition, and they gave it to the teacher on Monday. The teacher read all the compositions and then she gave them back to the pupils on Tuesday. 'Jean,' she said, 'your composition is the same as your brother's'. 'Yes,' answered Jean quickly. 'It's the same cat!'
Short Story -5-
Many years ago, Wonder Air was a small, very new company. It had very little money and its aeroplanes were very old. Mr. Black flew by Wonder Air once. That day, he went to the airport, got on the Wonder Air aeroplane and waited. After a few minutes, there was a lot of noise, and then the captain came out and shouted, 'I'm not going to take this aeroplane up! One of the engines is broken, and they aren't going to get a new one.'
The passengers got out, and then, an hour later, an air-hostess said, 'The aeroplane's ready again now.' The passengers walked pat her to the aeroplane again. 'Did you get a new engine?' Mr. Black asked the air-hostess. 'No, we got a new captain,' she answered.
Short Story -6-
Mr. Kent is sixty-five and his wife is sixty-one. Mr. Kent is small and thin, and his wife is big and tall. She is not a happy person. She always criticizes everybody and everything, and she criticizes her husband, more than anyone else. She always says to her neighbors. He never does anything right.'
Last month she said to her husband. Look at your shirt! There are two holes in the collar! I'm going to buy you some new shirts. She went to the shops that afternoon and bought him three new shirts.
The next morning, Mr. Kent put one of them on and went down to the kitchen. Mrs. Kent looked at him and then shouted angrily, 'And what's wrong with the other two shirts? Don't you like them?
Short Story -7-
Normal Harris worked in an office for twenty years, but then he lost his job, because he began doing everything wrong. His wife sent him to a doctor, and the doctor asked him a lot of questions for an hour and then said to him, 'Mr. Harris, there are two different people in you, and they're fighting each other. I'm going to send you to a hospital for a week, and I'm going to examine you again after that.'
The doctor gave him a bill for £20. Normal took £10 to of his pocket and gave it to the doctor. Then he said to him, 'Get the other half from the other man. I'm not going to pay for him too!'
Short Story -8-
John was ten years old, and he was a clever boy. Most of the pupils in his class at school were not very good at mathematics, but John usually answered the teacher's questions very well.
Last Tuesday the teacher said to the class, 'Now I'm going to give you a mathematics test. I'm going to give you a question and say a name, and that boy or girl's going to answer. Now, there's £5.73 in your left pocket, and £3.27 in your right pocket. What have you got? Peter? Mary? Helen?'
None of the pupils said anything for a long time. Then the teacher said, 'What's the answer, John?' John answered quickly, 'Somebody else's trousers!'
Short Story -9--
Mr. Green went to Germany, because he had some work there. He came back last Monday, and his young wife met him at the airport. They walked to their car and passed a tall, pretty air-hostess. Mr. Green said to her, 'Good-bye, Miss Harris, and the air-hostess smiled and said, 'Good-by' too..
Mrs. Green stopped and looked at the air-hostess. Then she said to her husband. 'How did you know her name?' 'That was easy,' answered Mr. Green. 'The names of the captain and all the crew were on a piece of paper in front of our seats.' 'What was the name of the captain?' Mrs. Green asked with a smile. Mr. Green laughed and answered, 'I don't remember any of the other names.
Short Story -10-
Mike was not well. He was tried all the time, and his head often hurt. 'Go to the doctor, his wife said. Mike did not like visiting the doctor, but after a week, he went. The doctor asked him a lot of questions and wrote Mike's answers down.
'What do you eat in the morning?' He asked him 'Eggs, bread, butter, jam and coffee,' Mike answered. And what lunch do you have?' The doctor And what do you have in the evening?' The
asked. 'Meat or fish and bread.
doctor asked. 'Eggs and bread
Then the doctor said, 'Eat some fruit every day, and eat all the skin of the fruit. The skin is very good. What fruit do you like best?' Mike was not happy. 'Coconuts,' he answered.
Short Story -11-
Mr. Lloyd went to the barber every month to have a haircut. He sometimes took his small son Philip with him, and Philip sat and looked at magazines during his father's haircut. But at that time, the barber did not cut Philip's hair. Mrs. Lloyd always cut it at home.
Then, one day, Mr. Lloyd said to his wife, 'Philip's five now, and the barber is going to cut his hair next time.'
He took Philip there the next day, and first the barber cut Mr. Lloyd's hair. Then he put Philip in the chair and said, 'How do you want your hair, young man?' 'Like my father's,' answered Philip. 'With a hole in the middle.'
Short Story -12-
Ted Lawrence was an artist. He painted very modern pictures blue squares and yellow circles, red sheep and green sky...
Last December, there was an exhibition of his pictures in our village hall for a week, and there was a big book on a table at the door. In it there were two questions:
'Why did you come to this exhibition?' 'Which of the pictures did you like?' Every evening, Ted went to the book and read the visitors' answers.
The weather was not very good, and on the Saturday, it rained a lot. That evening Ted looked at the book at the door of the hall, and read one lady's answers to his two questions. They were:'I did not like any of the pictures. I came into the exhibition because it began raining, and I didn't have an umbrella.'
Short Story -13-
Jeremy is a student at a university. He likes rock music very much. Las October he said to some of his friends. 'We're going to start a rock band, and we're going to play every evening in my parent's living-room. They aren't at home then, because they work at a hotel."
Jeremy and his friends went to his house every evening and played their music, but they played very badly, and the neighbours always shouted, 'Stop that! Be quiet!' Then Jeremy/closed the windows, and he and his friends played
more music.
But last June, Jeremy opened a window, put his head out, listened and then said to his friends, We're playing better! The neighbours are shouting, "Turn that radio off!" Now.'
Short Story -14-
Mr. White found work in a small town, and he and his wife sold their house in London and bought one in the new town. Mr. White went to work by bus ever day with some of his new neighbours.
Last month he was on the bus, and one of his new neighbours was in front of him. Mr. White said to him, 'One of my teeth is hurting very badly. Is there a good dentist here?'
'You don't want a dentist,' answered the neighbor. 'One of my teeth hurt a lot yesterday too, but my wife put her arms round me and kissed me, and the tooth stopped hurting. Go and try that too.' Mr. White stood up. 'Good,' he said happily. 'Where's your wife now?'
Short Story -15-
Lily was twelve years old, and her brother Tim was eight. Lily had a small dog. His name was Rover. Lily liked cooking very much, and during the holiday, she made two beautiful, small cakes.
'We're going to eat them this afternoon,' she said to Tim. 'You're going to have one, and I'm going to have the other one.' Their parents were not at home that afternoon. And at four o'clock Lily made some tea and put the cakes on the table.
'Where's Rover?' She said. 'He's under the table,' Tim answered.
They began their tea, but then Lily shouted, 'Tim, quick, I've dropped my cake under the table, and Rover's going to eat it!'
Short Story -16-
'It's all right, Lily,' Tim answered. 'I've put my foot on it.'
Dan was the doorman of a cloud in a big city. Every day, thousands of people passed his door, and a lot of them stopped and said to him, 'What's the time, please?' After a few months, Dan said to himself. 'I'm not going to answer all those stupid people any more. I'm going to go to a shop and by a big clock. Then I'm going to put it up on the wall here.' He bought a clock and put it up on the wall.
'Now people aren't going to stop and ask me the time, he said happily. But after that, a lot of people stopped every day, looked at the clock and then said to Dan, 'Is that clock right?"
Short Story -17-
Larry was sixteen years old. He was a student, but he was not a very good one. He always sat at the back of the class, and he often went to sleep during lessons, because he stayed up late every night
One of Larry's teachers was Miss Perry. One day Larry was asleep in her class, and she came and woke him up. 'You can go to sleep in my class, Larry,' she said to him, 'but please say "Good night" to me first.'
Another day, Larry arrived at school very late in the morning, and Miss Perry said to him, 'Why are you late, Larry?' 'I didn't wake up at the right time this morning, Miss, Larry answered. 'Oh,' Miss Perry said, 'do you sleep at home too?'
Short Story -18-
Helen Smith liked Japanese food very much. One day she went to a Japanese restaurant and looked at the menu. She said to herself, 'The Japanese letters on this menu are very pretty,' and she wrote two of them on a piece of paper. Her hobby was sewing, and at home she sewed them on the front of her new blouse.
All her friends liked the blouse very much, but then a few days later, she went to the Japanese restaurant again. The Japanese people looked at her blouse, and then began smiling.
Helen said, 'Why are you smiling?' And one of the Japanese answered, 'Because the words on your blouse say: "young chicken".
Short Story -19-
Billy and Bobby were small boys. They were brothers, and they often
had fights with each other.
Last Saturday their mother said to them. I'm going to cook our lunch now. Go out and play in the garden- and be good." "Yes, Mummy,' the two boys answered, and they went out.
They played in the garden for half an hour, and then their mother heard something. She said to herself, "Someone's broken some glass."
Then Billy ran into the kitchen. He was older than Bobby. 'Mummy," he said, 'Bobby's broken a window in Mrs. Allen's house.' Mrs. Allen was one of their neighbours.
Short Story -20-
'He's a bad boy,' his mother said. 'How did he break it?'
'I threw a stone at him,' Billy answered, 'and he ducked.'
Mr. and Mrs. Miller came to London and bought a very old house there. Then Mrs. Miller's old friend, Mrs. Yates, came and visited her. Mrs. Yates went around the house with Mrs. Miller, and she was surprised, because there were bells on the walls of every room.
She said to Mrs. Miller, 'Why have you got all those bells in your house, Gladys?"
Mrs. Miller answered, 'Fifty years ago, ladies and gentlemen had servants. The ladies and gentlemen rang the bells in the rooms, and then the servants came up from the kitchen. But now everything's different. I work in the kitchen, and I sometimes ring the bells in the rooms. Then my husband, or my children come down and help me.'
28/11/2022
27/11/2022
23/10/2022
01/06/2020
15/05/2020
24/04/2020