HAPA NDO Tumefika Reloaded

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04/09/2020

MANCHESTER UNITED MANAGERS SINCE
1986;
(1) Sir Alex Ferguson
(2) David Moyes
(3) Louis Van Gaal
(4)Giggs
(5)Jose Mourinho
(6) Ole
TOTAL premier league trophy =20..........................................................
ARSENAL MANAGERS SINCE1986;
(1) Gerge Graham
(2) Bruce Rioch
(3) Arsene Wenger
(4) Unai Emery
(5) Arterta
TOTAL premier league trophy = 13...........................................................
CHELSEA MANAGERS SINCE 1986;
(1) Bobby Campbell
(2) Jan Borterfield
(3) David Webb
(4) Glenn Hoddle
(5) Ruud Gullit
(6) Gianluca Vialli
(7) Ray Wilkins
(8) Claudio Ranieri
(9) Jose Mourinho
(10) Avran Grant
(11) Felip Scolari
(12) Ray Wilkins
(13) Guus Hidink
(14) Carlos Ancelotti
(15) Andrew Villas Boas
(16) Robert Di Matteo
(17) Rafael Benitez
(18) Jose Mourinho
(19) Guus Hidink
(20) Antonio Conte
(21) Sarri
(22) Lampard
TOTAL premier league trophy =*6
If You Have Had More Managers Than Trophies The question is, can we still call Chelsea a football club or coaches club???

10/07/2019

Nimepanda mathree ya Thika road, naskia watu
wakinunua vitu na sioni shop hapo ndani.
Passenger 1- kahawa; Akalipa akapewa change.
Passenger 2- kimbo; Akalipa akapewa change.
Passenger 3 - sukari; Akalipa akapewa change.
Passenger 4 - delmonte; Akalipa akapewa change.
Passenger 5 - allsopes; Akalipa akapewa change.
Kufika my turn nikadai unga mbili na kiberiti. Sasa
naskia watu wanacheka, sijui k**a hao hawakulangi
ugali ama??

12/12/2018

SEDUCING A LADY IN A BIBLICAL MANNER
BOY: Do you have a boyfriend?
GIRL: Nope, i don't have one.
BOY: Gen 2:18 "The lord God said, it is not
good
for a man to be alone, i wil make a helper
suitable for him
GIRL: "But i don't love you
BOY: 1 John 4:8 whoever does not love,does
not
know God, because God is love.
GIRL: & how do i know you mean those words?
BOY: Mathew 12:34 for out of the abundance
of
the hearth mouth speaks.
GIRL: but how can i be sure that you're loyal&
honest?
BOY Mark 13:31 "heaven & earth will pass
away
but my words will never pass away
GIRL: But why me? There are alot of girls out
there
BOY: Proverbs 31:29 "Many women do noble
things, but you surpass them all.
GIRL: But what is in me that yu like?
BOY: Song of solomon 4:7 "you are altogether
beautiful, my darling there is no flaw in you"
GIRL: But i'm not all that beautiful you're
exaggerating
BOY: Proverbs 31:30 "chram is deceptive, and
beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the
Lord is to be praised
GIRL: What happens if i say yes.
BOY: Genesis 2:24 "Therefore man shall leave
his father and his mother & they shall become
one flesh
GIRL: How come you know the scriptures this
much
BOY:Joshua 1;8 This book of law shall not
depart from your mouth but you shall meditate
on it day & night so that you may be careful to
do all that is written in it. For then you make
your way prosperous and you will have good
success"
GIRL: Woow, I can see you really love God
BOY: Psalm 34:8 oh, taste and see that lord is
good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in
him.
GIRL: mmm. Ok please give time to think about
it
BOY: Philipian 4:8 "finally brethren, whatever is
true, whatever honourable, whatever is just,
whatever is commendable, if there is any
excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise
think about this thing
GIRL: oww I love you already
BOY: Revelation 22:21 "Amen"

12/12/2018

Haki watoto wa siku hizi hawajui
hard life ni nini.. .....
Pale primary school ulikuwanga Unabeba githeri iko na soup Kwa tin ya mafuta ya 500g ya Kasuku Ama Tily then unaiweka Kwa paper bag ile ya green pamoja na books.
You start running to school, just a few metres to the gate the bell rings and the teacher on duty closes the gate and all who are out are declared late.
Hapo ndio ulikuwanga unajua shetani alikuwa malaika pia.
U are told to kneel down ( remember You're barefoot ) mnatandikwa Kwa sole then u are commanded to sweep the compound.
You limp to the nearby bushes to pick brooms then sweep.
After the punishment u pick your paper bag and ran to class only to find everyone very quiet,
unfortunately that devil of a teacher shows up at the window of your class and so u carefully try to open the paper bag isipige makelele. Ndio wewe huyo unaona mbegu zinamwagika Kwa floor, kumbe kamsumari ka Yule mtu hukaa Karibu na mlango kalirarua paper bag ukipita na haraka zako.
Shida Sasa inaingia ukifungua paper bag, all your books are soaked Kwa soup ya githeri.
Kumbe while you were running to school your Kasuku tin ilifunuka . Walimu wa primary heaven mtaionea Viusasa

29/05/2014

“I dedicate this to someone. I’m sorry I'm not
gonna mention her name but she knows herself
and I’m sure she’ll read it. And if you are out
there and you are also going through the same
or a related situation, I also dedicate it to
you.” Take your time, read it all, understand it
and apply it.
ALWAYS THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU LET YOUR
PARTNER GO OVER SMALL ISSUES/
MISUNDERSTANDINGS THAT CAN BE RESOLVED
You guys were in a happy relationship. You
could be on phone with him till the late hours of
the night, you could text each other all the
time, you could trust one another and there
was no tension between you guys.
Now
somebody from nowhere came in, she forged
stuff and she destabilized your relationship.
She had a mission and it was to make you guys
fall apart. She succeed in it and wherever she’s
she is so happy. She seems to be like she was
sent by someone who never wanted to see you
guys happy. You had a weak heart and you
easily gave up on your partner. You chose to
dump him. But was that the right decision? Are
you really serious that you gave up on someone
who really loved you with all his heart? Are you
comfortable where you are? Did you really think
twice? Are you really happy at heart?
Well, maybe... but think of where you are going
now. Are you gonna meet a heaven sent angel
that he’ll be perfect in everything? He’ll never
do any mistake? Now what if another person
intrudes into that new relationship you gonna
get into, will you also just dump that person
and move on? For how long are you gonna be
picking and dumping people just because of
small misunderstandings? Think of the time you
are gonna take to learn that new person and
to try to fit in that new relationship. Are you
sure that it will last longer than the one you
are leaving? Will you be happy like the way
you’ve been? Will that person understand you
and bear with all your insecurities like this guy
you are dumping?
Seriously, you need to rethink your decision and
to listen to that inner voice in your heart.
Stop being influenced by your friends. It’s your
relationship and your life not theirs. Don’t
force your heart into a new relationship that
you are not ready for. A new relationship
won’t take away the stress you are having
now. In steady it will worsen the situation.
Stay with your lover and join hands and fight
that person who is trying to ruin your
relationship. Remember nowadays it’s very hard
to find someone with true love, so if you
already have one my dear, don’t let them go
over minor issues/small misunderstandings that
can be resolved. Think about it and act
accordingly.
Love y’all & God bless you!
Always from your brother & mentor,

26/05/2014

KENYAN HUSBANDS;
1.KALENJIN: Has one wife, One girlfriend but he loves the wife the most.
2.KIKUYU:Has One wife, one girlfriend, but he loves the girlfriend the most.
3.ITESO:Has One wife, one girlfriend, but he loves the house maid the most.
4.LUHYA:Has two wives, two girlfriends,buthe loves the wife's sisters the most.
5.COASTERIANS:Has 4 wives, No girlfriend, but he loves the house boy the most.
6.LUO:Has 4 wives, 4 girlfriends but he loves the neighbours wife the most.
7.KAMBA:Has one...two...
three.... wives..one girlfriend, but he loves the bar maid the most.
8.KISII/MERU:Has one wife, many girlfriends, he beats them ALL.
9.MAASAI:Has two wives, one girlfriend, but he loves his cows the most.
10.SOMALIS:Have4 wives, no girlfriend, but he loves MIRAA the most!

24/05/2014

"PLEASE READ & DON'T IGNORE!!"
A married woman was unhappy because she has no child.
One day, she became
pregnant, she was very happy and decided to take a rest and she slept off.
In her dream, she saw herself carrying a
flower, singing and dancing.
Not long, she saw a woman standing near her and saying "BRING THAT FLOWER".
The woman said "No" and started crying, telling the evil woman not to collect the flower from her but the evil woman
used force to collect the flower and destroyed it, just
because the woman was weak in prayers.
When the woman woke up, she saw that the pregnancy has gone.
You don't know how
powerful prayer is, you don't know what an "AMEN" can do
for you until you fall a victim.
NOW I DECLARE, GOD WILL SCATTER THOSE WHO ALWAYS SPOIL YOUR DAY OF JOY IN JESUS NAME [AMEN]
WRITE "AMEN" TO CLAIM THIS PRAYER AND SHARE THIS STORY.
IGNORE IF YOU DON'T
CARE.
----SHARE WITH UR FRIENDS----
(PRESS ''LIKE'' & DROP UR COMMENT)

20/05/2014

5 WAYS TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY.
1.Don't ask for money
2.Never ask him for money
3.I say forget about asking for money.
4.Don't even think about money.
5.Reject when he gives u money. LADIES IS THIS TRUE?

19/05/2014

*STORY FOR THE NIGHT *!
(read to the end)
A man was caught and thrown into a pit of about"40
feet" deep, just because he was a stranger. He
struggled trying to get out of the pit,
but the more he tried, the weaker his muscles became.
He said to himself, "I don't know how to get myself out
of this. Maybe I should just die instead of enduring
these
miserable struggles and pains."
Just then, he heard a voice screaming, "Help! Help!!
Help!!!" The shouts were coming from another pit,
which was "10 feet" deeper than the one he was in. He
thought to himself, "Wow, so there is somebody else
like me trapped here too".
Listening carefully, he heard some cracking and sand
dropping from the wall of the pit of the other victim.
Immediately he summed up his courage and with his
last bit of strength, started crawling little by little until
he made it out of his pit.
MORAL LESSON:
That pain you think you are passing through, there are
people worst off than you. Always say something sweet
to yourself. Always smile at
your pains. Let them be; they are just there for a while
and also to challenge you.
Today may be your darkest hour, but your joy will come
in the morning. Try to encourage yourself. Look at
yourself in the mirror, beat your
chest and say, "I can make it and I can stand the test of
time."
*Always try to face your worst fear because nothing
GOOD comes easy. You must be UNCOMFORTABLE to
get to your COMFORT ZONE.
LETS PRAY
Dear Lord I ask you to give the person reading this faith
and strength to face whatever difficulty/ challenge he/
she is going through.AMEN.
If you claim this prayer,
then press "like" NOW
&
write,"AMEN" if you mean it !!

07/05/2014

CRAZYTHOUGHTS: Signboard outside a prostitute’s house: Married MEN not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greed New AIDSawareness slogan: Try different positions with the same woman instead of same position with different women. Whyis s*x like shaving? Well, because no matter how well you do it today…tomorrow you’ll have to do it again… Q: What will happen if earth rotates 30 times faster? A: Men will get their salary everyday and women will bleed to death. Q: Why do 90% girls have left b**b bigger than right? A: Because 90% boys are right handed. Q: What is the difference between a PANTY& a STAGECURTAIN? A: When you pull down the STAGECURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the PANTY….. it is SHOWTIME! Q: Why are condoms transparent? A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is Restricted! Best of all. My dad told me that if Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would be still in Paradise . Why? Because they would have eaten the snake instead of the bloody apple

04/08/2013

U don't have to Fly in the Night
to be a Witch.! Witchcraft
symptoms are Jealousy,
Gossip, Back bitting, Envy,
hatred. If you have these, then
you are a Witch.!

29/07/2013

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