Oxford Online Writing Academy

With Kasneb – I'm on a streak! I've been a top fan for 3 months in a row. 🎉

Shout out to my newest followers! Excited to have you onboard! Stephen Barasa, أحمد الفرطوسي, Anthony Abuje

𝙋𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙩𝙮 𝙇𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙈𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙈𝙮 𝙋𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙂𝙤𝙡𝙙𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙚

I might be different from you, but certainly, there are some similarities that you will recognize that lie between us. I am the type of a person who develops acute low sugar levels (temporary) the moment I realize I am surviving on the last dollar. I instantly become highly irritable waiting for anyone to cross my lines. You may think I am naturally short-tempered, but on the contrary, I am very cool when my bank accounts are beaming with dollars.

As I weakly strolled around the busy paths of X- University, I reached for my purse to get something to put into my mouth since I had not taken anything like food for the last three days. Actually, I was only taking energy snacks like sweets, to avoid breaking my bank. This particular day was on my second week in the campus. I felt a sense of anger sweep through my face when I realized I had only 10 dollars to carry me through the entire semester while the fare back home was included. I secured a bench in the open grounds and found it wise to think around before spending on anything.

After sitting for two and half hours, nothing was adding up. I tried to reduce my budget, but it had reached the irreducible minimum. I was by now too hungry to stand the situation, and a thought filled my mind that sounded like the most beautiful thing that I needed to hear, feel, and imagine. “You only live once please live best.” The thought was so convincing such that I rose to my feet and headed to the restaurant to have my favorite dish.

Along the way, I was paying attention to everything I came across with the inner pride that, ‘I am at last heading to take my favorite dish.’ This time I had much energy from the thought of having some French rice with fried chicken. However, before I crossed the path leading to the restaurant, something caught my attention. A bunch of students was glued on the students’ noticeboard, and none was ready to leave for others to read the “Breaking News.” Interestingly, I developed a deep sense of anxiety such that I could not leave the place until I had read the “so-important” information. After a while, the students started leaving one by one until I was left with only three at the noticeboard. This is what the noticeboard read:

“Are you passionate about writing?

Can you write something that is worth being read?

We are looking for you.

Earn up to 100 dollars a week for doing what you love.

Contact us at…”

The message was too good to behold. I had my laptop and modem right in the hostel, but it was only useful for movies and surfing the internet just to pass the time. All of a sudden I became rejuvenated and food ceased to be the important factor there and then. I ran, yes, I actually ran to the hostel to check whether my modem and laptop were still in order. Luckily enough, they were okay. I called the number I had picked on the noticeboard, and the guy was ready to get me started. However, he required me to go through some bit of polishing to fit in the writing industry. Unfortunately, I had only 10 dollars still intact, yet he required me to pay for 35 dollars to go through the training. I had a strong feeling that this opportunity was too good to slip off. Therefore, I thought of asking two friends to lend me 15 dollars each, which I would repay in two weeks’ time. They were generous enough and granted me the request. In one week’s time, I was very good at article writing. I requested my trainer to allow me to work first on articles, which could help me earn some cash to repay my friends.

I did very well during the first week although speed was an issue to me and the numerous breaks I could take for my classes. I could only handle 1500 words per day which earned me nine dollars. I worked for only five days during that week so that I could get back to the training. Luckily, I was paid 45 dollars which was enough to repay my friends and have some for upkeep in the coming few days. What was now important was that I had hope and something big was about to happen. At the end of the first month, I was good at all forms of article writing, academic writing, and the formatting styles.

The second-month things were tougher since C.A.T.S were now due. However, I believed that those who make it in life go an extra mile. Thus, I resolved to study during the day and work at night. I could, however, secure 3-4 hours to sleep. By the end of the second month, I had reached to levels that were far much beyond me. I managed 350 dollars, and I was really excited. I was now slowly gaining financial freedom while still a student. I could wear expensive clothes, shoes and feed on healthy meals.

It is now over seven years, and things have really changed. Nothing can separate me from my goldmine. After all, I have developed great attachment to my artwork since it has been paying me sufficiently. I have learned the art of creating jobs other than sitting back and blaming everything around me for the misery that I might be going through. You were created with some unique artistic skills that can bring you food on the table.

LIVINUS BOSSY.

Ekene is a house boy who drinks his boss' wine and then adds water for cover up. His boss became suspicious and decided to buy pasties ( A french wine that change colour if water added).
As usual, Ekene drank the pasties and topped it up with water. Unfortunately for him, the pasties changed colour. When the boss came back home and notice the colour change, he told his wife about it.
Ekene knew he was in trouble and decided to stay in the kitchen.

The boss shouted, "Ekene!!!"

Ekene answered.."Yes, Sir!"

Boss.. "Who drank the pasties?"
Ekene didn't respond.
The boss ask again, still no answer. Then the boss went to the kitchen to confront him. "Are you insane or what? When I called you, you said 'Yes Sir', but when I asked you a question, you didn't answer me!
Hmmm Oga, when you are in the kitchen you don't hear anything except your name," Ekene answered.
"Let's try it. Okay go to the bar and stand beside madam, while I will stay in the kitchen. Then call me and then ask me any question," The Boss suggested.
Ekene shouted, "Boss!"
Boss answered, "Yes!"

Ekene asked, "Who goes into the maid's bedroom when madam isn't around?"

Boss didn't answer.
Ekene ask again, the Boss kept quiet.

The boss came out from the kitchen shouting, "Wonders shall never end!!!
Ekene it's true. When one's in the kitchen, one doesn't hear anything except ones name".
The wife interrupted, "That's not true. It's a lie".
Without argument Ekene ask if she'd like to enter the kitchen to be tested and she agreed.

Ekene called, "Madam!
Madam answered, "Yes!"

Ekene asked, "Who is Junior's biological father? Me or boss?"
Madam rushed out of the kitchen saying, "This kitchen needs to be checked, I can't hear anything!"
😂😂😂😂😂😂😀😀😀 Don't laugh alone.