Gossip Zone

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"A 70 years old retired Military officer had one hobby - he loved to fish.

He was sitting in his boat and fishing when he heard a voice say, *'Pick me up'* .He looked around and couldn't see anyone.

He thought he was dreaming when he heard the same voice say again, *'Pick me up.'*

He looked in the water and saw a frog floating on the water surface.

The retd officer asked the frog: 'Are you talking to me?'

The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up & kiss me; and I'll turn into the most beautiful girl you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous, because I will be your bride!'

The retired officer looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully and placed it in his shirt pocket.

The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?'
I said, 'Kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride.'

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,

'Nah. I would like to have a talking frog rather than a nagging wife..

With age - wisdom comes!

【PS】

I have been talking to this girl I met on facebook and we decided to meet face to face today... 😳😋
I decided to take her to a nice hotel around this city where we can relax and talk better🤗😩I had Ksh 500 only between with me and poverty 🤦🏻‍♂️
I paid Ksh 200 for the bike that took us to the restaurant, and remained with Ksh 300.🥺
So When we got to the hotel before I could order something for her,
😏She ordered a bottle of drink that cost 1,500 kshs and a meal which cost 1200 shs....😶🤨
And now she has asked me to go outside and buy for her credit (airtime ) worth Ksh 200 😏.
People of GOD filled with wisdom and knowledge...🙌
I' m outside now what should I do ??

😃😃😃

There was this day keduuu 2021, I was watching news with my then girlfriend, I was sure I'll marry her, actually our ruracio would have been the following year.
Then in the news bulletin, came this section of a woman who was arrested for killing her husband. My girlfriend then says, "Mimi singeshikwa"

Ok, tuseme tu ukweli, hata wewe ungeoa? Si muache nipone kwanza ama mnataka niwe mkuu?

A form 3 student aliamua kupropose kwa mwalimu wake wa English😊,,alikua mrembo😍😋...during class assignment aliandika love letter,,akaiweka kwa kitabu yake ya assignment... Alikua ameambia marafiki zake iyo story, so kila mtu aliingoja kuona reaction ya mwalimu wao,,,akiwa home anamark vitabu akaona ile letter...kesho yake alipeana zile vitabu bt hakureply ile barua😊😋..akamwambia amfuate kwenda staffroom🙆😳..marafiki zake wakamshw ile vita atagongwa na waalimu n mungu tu🙆..kitu ya kushangaza ni kuwa wakati alifika staffroom yule mwalimu .......🙈🙈🙈
Bundle zangu zimeisha..nitumie credo ya Saf nibuy bundle niendeleze hii story 😭😭😭😭😭

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Mtoto anataka kuongea na wewe
Him:mpatie
Mtoto:hhhtrrbqtyss
Him:anasema nn sasa
Her:anasema tuludiane
😂😂😂😂

1. Ukali - means bitter or harsh
Luhya - it's food!😂😂😂

2. Federer is a tennis player
Kikuyu - it's a flag.😅😅

3. "L" is a letter in the alphabet
Kamba - a place where sinners will go.😅😅

4. Choice is not only an option
Gusii - a girl's name😂😂

5. Bull is a male species of a cow
Kalenjin - it's a place where people go swimming😜😜

6. A Sack is a bag used for storing grains
Luo - a big fish with very sharp teeth!!😂😂😂😂

7. Hyundai is a car model
Kamba -what happens when you take poison!😅😅😅

8. Sota in sheng means broke
Luhyas - a beverage!

Ongeza Yako yenye unajua😅😅🏃

👨MY FIRST TIME TO USE A CONDOM👨
👨I entered a shop🏠 and bought a pack with 3 condoms😏, looked at them curiously🤔 for a while wondering how on earth I could use them👌. The Lady 👩at the counter noticed my puzzlement and asked sincerely, ''Have you ever used a condom🤷?
Do you know how to put it on🤔?'' I blushed and said,"No💁!" The lady👩 took one condom and opened it and wore it on her thumb👍 as an example. "This is how you wear it. You have to make sure its tight!'' I was even more puzzled😏 by this. I was just an innnocent young man👨. She 👩noticed how shy and confused I was. "You must be a👉 virgin," she said teasingly. "Have you ever had sex👉👌?"... She asked.. l said, ''No!" Then she looked👀 around the shop; there was no one but just the two of us🙆. She called me behind the counter, opened the door leading to the back rooms and invited me in. She quickly locked the door,told me to hurry up... "We don't have time🕠!" She said. She pulled her short skirt👗 up, her panty down👙,opened her
legs and layed her back on a table. Then she told me to wear the condom on just like she had told me. I did, and she pulled me close, and oh yes there I Was right deep 👉👌inside her wet sweet flesh. ...... But Oh My God no, in just two minutes 🕠inside it was just too much and I cum, aaa tsaaa tsaaa saaaa twii twii tsaaa ziii.!! The lady👩 feels it too, she feels the hot fluid inside her,and asks me👨, ''Did you put the condom on like I told you?" "Yes I did. Just like you told me!" I replied. She says, ''Lets see👀!" (I showed 👀her) "Oh s**t!" she screamed. "You are supposed to wear it on your P***S not your THUMB, you fool...!!!..

👉That's how I became a dad👨
👉I 👨am off to buy pampers🙆