Swans and Swaddles

"Being a mother forces you to be strong."

You hide fear and draw strength...

Pretending to be the "Super Mom"

and show them that nothing is impossible

Because all that matters to you

is to take care of the love of your life:

Your child/daughter. ♡"

That's probably how it looks inside your belly while pregnant.....

Uuuuh the struggle is real..... Everything grows rounder and wider and weirder.

My firstborn,

It was you that made me a mother.

It was you that stopped me in my tracks and paved new ones for me.

It was you that reduced me to the rubble of myself, and then built me back up stronger.

It was you that gave me so many reasons, but also reasons for criticising my body, for loving what it gave me, for being comfortable in my own skin.

It was you who first turned the nights into weeks, and the years into days.

It was you that filled me with a type of gratitude I’d never known, each breath you took filled my lungs, each step you took was our journey together.

It was you that introduced me to so many firsts, to a different type of love, heart ache, and to me.

It was you that gave me a kind of confidence I never knew I had within, a whisper turned roar, an exercised patience, a worry that will live in my heart forever.

It was you who unearthed me, things tucked away, no longer buried, it was you who cracked me open.

It was you that showed me a different view of the world, decisions, memories, dreams, are all shaped with you.

It was you I held as I cried in the early months, deep in the trenches, lonely but in the best company.
Tired but never more alive.
It was you that got me through.

You’re much older now.

But I’ll always remember us in the quiet of the weekdays, where we did nothing,
and everything.

Our chapter.

How it was you, who made me a mother....❤

The stages of motherhood…

Maybe you are a new mom….

You're struggling adjusting to parenting, really struggling.

You start to wonder why you left the hospital when there was so much help and now you have to figure it out on your own.

You're exhausted. Your exhaustion borderlines delirium and your emotions still aren't right.
You feel inadequate.

The days start to blur together and you don't know what you're doing besides feeding, burping, changing, holding and repeating.

It's supposed to be one of the most wonderful times in your life but you just don't feel that way.

The guilt sets in which makes you feel even worse because you're not feeling this most ‘wonderful time’.

Maybe you feel scared or lonely or lost.

Maybe you're in survival mode, trying to function on little to no sleep while doing a job you've never done before. You're trying to get through each day but it's so hard.

Maybe you can't get a schedule down or your baby won't stop crying. You feel hopeless that things won't get better. You've tried everything but still feel defeated.

Maybe you've been a mom for a while now…

You have a toddler or two and maybe even a baby in the mix. You're managing multiples now.

They have you beat. You are outnumbered.

Your level of patience dwindles daily as you play referee most of the time. The stages your children are in make mom life feel impossible. You can’t keep up.

Some days you break down. You just can't do it. You yell. You yell a lot. You lock yourself in the bathroom just to get a break from hearing "mommy" for the thousandth time.

Some days you count down the hours until naps or bed because that's how emotionally drained you are.

Maybe you’re the mom of older kids...

Middle school.
High school.
The struggles are different now.

You're raising tweens and teenagers who no longer need you because they know everything. Their friends are their life and technology is the never-ending battlefield.

Your worries as a parent have shifted. Your schedules are so packed you feel like you live out of your car. And you do. The weekdays are busy. The weekends are busier. Everything is just. so. busy.

You have bigger things to worry about. Serious talks about serious topics emerge. You wonder if you're doing the right thing so many times.

Maybe you’re the mom whose kids are all grown…

They’re off to college. Maybe out of state. Or living on their own and no longer at home. Life feels a little more empty and a lot more quieter. The silence creates a void in your heart that just aches. You miss them but you don’t want to continuously check in. You wonder. You worry.

You’ll always worry.

Whatever stage of motherhood you’re in, just know that you’re not in it alone.

It may not always go the way you hope or plan, but it’s the journey that pulls you through. And just as one stage ends, a new one is right there to begin.

So stay strong mama, because you are more amazing than you know.

“Mama,

I can’t see past you right now, I’m so small and everything’s a little blurry.

All I see is you.

When you feel alone, like the walls are closing in, remember I’m here too. I know your world has changed and the days feel a little lonely. But they aren’t lonely for me.

You are my everything.

When you feel like you don’t know what you’re doing, you’re making it look easy to me. Even though we’re still getting to know each other, you know me better than anyone.

I trust you.

When you think some nights you’ll never sleep again, you will. We both will. But I’m scared right now. I promise I’m not manipulating you. I just need your smell and comfort. Do you feel that tug in your heart when we’re apart? I do too.

I miss you.

When you feel as if you’ve achieved nothing, please know, my cup has never been so full.
The days that get away on you will be some of my best
memories of us playing together on the ground.
I love you.

When you feel like you don’t know who you are anymore, when you turn away from the mirror. That face will be the one I look to when I achieve something, the one I search for in a crowd. The reason for my first smile.

You’re perfect to me.

When you feel like the weight of it all is heavy in your heart, please know I’ve never felt lighter. Can I lay here with you a little longer?
I won’t always need you like this.

But I need you right now.

When you feel as if you have nothing left to give, when I see your hands outstretched at me, pleading. When we’re both crying. I wish I could talk, but I can’t.
If I could, I would tell you,

There’s a reason I chose you.

I can’t see past you right now mama, because you are my world.
It will get bigger, soon enough.

But for now,

All I see is you.”

♥️

It's a job that came with no prior experience.

There are no days off, and no sick days.

It doesn't come with a paycheck, even though you're always pulling overtime.

The entire world wants to weigh in on your performance review.

It often requires functioning at a high stakes level while completely sleep deprived.

Despite giving it your all, there's constant questioning of your ability; if you're doing enough, if you're doing too much.

There's no one right way to do the job. And the job requirements are ever changing.

It's one of the toughest jobs out there, and once it starts it's never ending.

And... I love it.

I love being a mom.

(Words - Emily Roussell)
You Are Loved - Emily Roussell