Catholic College of Mandeville - CCM

HOLIDAY EATING TIPS
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly, it's rare. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert, Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate and wine in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming " WOO HOO what a ride!" MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Tune into to CCM Radio online at Zeno.fm/CCM radio

Conference 2018 will take place on April 21st and 22nd at the college campus in Williamsfield

The college believes in supporting the goals of students to prepare for a fulfilling career and creating life opportunities through a holistic approach to education: spiritual, cultural, physical, social and political. Enroll in our programmes TODAY.

Learning community members work collaboratively and cooperatively to develop and assess their work with performance assessments and professional portfolios. Courses for our M.Ed programme are offered at the CCM campus, ONE weekend a month.

Be part of the largest industry in the world!

Enroll in our Graduate Certificate Programme in Healthcare Administration and Management. It promises to be dynamic and eye-opening.

Community Health and Wellness! Be part of the largest industry in the world Enrol in our Graduate Certificate Programme in Healthcare Administration and Management...

FALL CONFERENCE is here! This is an opportunity to explore solutions to ongoing educational issues and to create innovate strategies that can be applied to your work environment to address and resolve those issues.

Take a look at whats on the agenda: https://www.smore.com/xqzgb-m-ed-teaching-and-learning-jamaica?ref=email

M.Ed: Teaching and Learning Jamaica Fall Conference: 'CONNECTIONS" This is an opportunity to explore solutions to ongoing educational issues and to create innovate...

Join our Anti-Fraud Squad!
Enroll in our NEW and EXCITING Fraud and Forensic Accounting Certificate Programme.

Join our programme! Detect and deter cyber attacks! The Catholic College of Mandeville in partnership with La Salle University of Philadelphia now offers a...

In just ONE weekend per month you can earn your Masters in Education! Want to know more? Visit our website at www.elearning.ccmjm.co

For more information on how to apply and the application requirements for our degree programmes and short courses, visit our website: www.elearning.ccmjm.co

"For our national heroes, freedom was the essence of our humanity. They knew that what distinguishes us as a people is our capacity for free action and our free will." - Prime Minister, Most Hon. Andrew Holness.